tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57177593819407933442024-03-13T04:50:01.937-07:00I am a survivorThis about my life being raised by a severaly abusive mother, my life with an abusive husband and my journey in getting out and away from them and learning to have strength in me.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-89085147993811489452017-08-02T07:50:00.001-07:002017-08-02T07:50:47.527-07:00"Any updates. Hope things are well." For those wanting an update.Been a long time since I last posted and so many changes have occurred. I am now the legal mom to 2 more children so that is a total of 4 living in our home. In August of 2016 we got custody of a ten yr old daughter and in April of this year we got custody of her 12yr old brother. None of which would have occurred if I had not been able to clear my name in court and prove my innocence. This year has mainly been focusing on everyone adjusting to our new family dynamics, getting the kids used to the new expectations and changes in their lives as well as preparing my 18yr old daughter for being an adult. <br />
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Lets start with our youngest. He is 4 now, and as you recall he was born with a cleft. So his speech was delayed. We found an amazing preschool program with a great speech program. He LOVES school. He thrived there and will be attending again this September. We did have a scary situation happen with him at the end of May. He got diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease. Something I had never heard of before. If you are curious about it here is a link where you can read about it: <br />
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<a href="http://www.webmd.com/children/tc/kawasaki-disease-topic-overview#1">Kawasaki Disease</a><br />
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Our 4yr old had a low grade fever for a couple of days and then complained of a sore neck to the point he could not turn it. So we took him to Emergency. They figured he just had a stomach flu so sent us home with instructions of fluids and rest and kids medicine. Our immediate concern was Meningitis when we first took him in that day but the doctors didn't have enough symptoms to go on. That evening our son threw up so we figured they were right. With meds his fever would go away and the stiff neck too, till the next does. But Wednesday morning he woke up with swollen and dark and splotchy looking hands, the red eyes, he had small areas of heat rash. We took him in agian to emergency and they let us know they had two concerns. Meningitis or Kawasaki Disease. Luckily they were able to determine that it was Kawasaki's disease and they admitted him. He was such a brave boy. I was so worried. Sadly he has my small veins so it took several pokes of the needle to get an IV in. And though he cried and begged the nurses to stop he didn't move his arm at all. Once it was in he settled right down and started to play with the toys we brought him. He was there for several days. And one of his wonderful teachers even stopped in to visit him with some cards and drawings that the whole class had made him and a stuffed owl from her. I could not hold back my tears of appreciated when she did this. Our son adores his school and teachers. We did have to take him up to the Childrens hospital to get his heart checked and then agian a month later. With the treatment he was able to get back to being his normal active and happy self. This is something that we will have to continually keep an eye out for, for several years. Till he is 8. Before they can say if he will be cured or have it the rest of his life. But after his second heart check he was cleared for a year. So those are the adventures for our youngest.<br />
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Our 10yr old daughter has been doing really well. She had a great year in school, and impressed everyone with her grades even while adjusting to a new family and living situation. That is a lot on a girls plate. One of her favorite activities of the year was her horse back riding 10th b-day party. She had never had a party like that thrown for her before. She also was not used to having a b-day party that was all about her, without other siblings being there, where she could have fun with her friends. I made up her cake myself as well and she and her friends loved it. She now has a very strong desire to learn how to do horse jumping and has had a few horse back riding lessons this year. She has had some testing behaviors, which is to be expected after being in care for 8yrs and multiple placements. But everyone who works with her agrees that she has made so many improvements over the past year that she is like a totally different young lady. She loves earning more freedom and privileges, and though(like most kids) she has not like learning about or doing chores, the responsibility she is learning from that, as well as learning to take pride in her home and self, is helping her to see that she is an amazing young lady who doesn't need to copy anyone to be noticed. The shy young girl I met 2yrs ago has disappeared. Now she can't wait to make friends and try new things. It took her a while to learn that it is ok to have her own interests and now she loves learning about new things and finding out what she might or might not enjoy. She is very excited to be moving to grade 6 especially since this will be the first year she and her brother are in different schools. We love her grade 6 teacher and can't wait to see her thrive even more when working with her.<br />
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Our 12yr old son has had a harder journey. He is on the Autism Spectrum as well as having ADD. He also had many behavioral issues as well prior to coming to our home. Like his sister he had been in care for 8yrs with multiple placements. With all the community supports in place we decided to add one more. Air Cadets. Normally he had major issues with authority figures so some of his support team was not sure this would be a good experience. Luckily his new social worker agreed with us and we all signed him up. We filled his cadet leaders in on his disabilities as well as his history as we see all of his support people as being a part of his team with us. He has thrived in Cadets and loved it. And the respect he is learning there for people in authority positions has been changing how he treats everyone in those positions. At the end of year banquet he even earned his 100% attendance plaque. As well as sat at a table during the entire banquet with his air cadet friends(with no parents at the table to supervise) and all the kids were as good as gold impressing everyone. He did have a couple of issues this year while adjusting but thanks to having an amazing teacher(who was so supportive and great to work with) and great support team he has made improvements significantly in all areas, from school to home. He also has not enjoyed learning about responsibilities or chores(what kid does) but now he takes more pride in his appearance, puts more effort into what he does, and tries harder in his school work. His principal was so happy with the changes this year that at the year end assembly he pulled us aside to let us know this was the best year our son had ever had and that he amazed everyone in how hard he was trying in all areas. In April we proudly got custody of him. He is looking forward to grade 7 and a new school with new opportunities to make friends. He is also looking forward to cadets starting agian in the fall.<br />
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My oldest daughter is now 18 and this year she graduated. It has been a big change for her in many way. We did a step up program, that I came up with, to help her adjust over a couple of years. We started when she was 16 and had to have a job. She now has a full time job as a housekeeper for a hotel. The past couple of years she has been learning about cooking on a budget, how to make a budget, priorities, saving money and so forth. This year we also solved the mystery of who her dad was. For years I had begged my ex to take a DNA test to confirm if it was him or the other guy who was a possibility. My ex always refused even when I would offer to pay him. My daughter had always been told when she turned 18 and she was ready, I would contact the other guy and see if we could get him to take the test. I had not seen or spoken to him in almost 19yrs at this point. In November, after her b-day, she asked me to find him. So I went on FB and found his sister and asked her to pass on the message. After a couple of weeks he contacted us and agreed to the DNA test though he was pretty positive it would say he was the dad as she looked like a twin to his sister. We paid for it and he was right. We were all happy. He lives a province away and she now has 3 more siblings. 2 step siblings and 1 half sibling. I decided to help them build a relationship so I paid for phone contact for the next 6 months. He actively tried to get to know her. In June he came down for 5 days for her graduation and was a part of everything involved. Our daughter looked radiant and she felt so happy to have both her dads there. This year she will be going back to her High School to upgrade her Cosmetology class so that she can go to hair styling school to become a hair dresser. She is also hoping to take some writing classes at the college as hair styling is just to support her till her writing takes off. Like most 18yr olds she is loving the freedom being an adult brings but hating the level or responsibility and costs. She is also saving money to buy a condo for when she moves out. She has 0 desire to rent so she already talked to the bank and has set up a savings account for it. She is also already looking into health insurance and RRSP's. She knows our desire as her parents, is for her to have a better life then we did when she reaches our age. So far a great start. <br />
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Still now word on my two legally kidnapped sons. I know some day they will seek us out and learn the truth. They will quickly see that everyone in the family knows who they are and wants them home. They will quickly learn the truth of their kidnapping and the lies everyone, including the family who has them, told them and the professionals to keep them from coming home. They will quickly see the steps everyone took to cut contact between them and their sister. They will also learn that we are not at all what they described us as being and they will see videos showing just how happy they were when they were home with us. But until then we wait, our hearts break and we miss them but we wait.<br />
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As for us our lives continue to improve each year. This year we will hopefully have our very first litter for our new breeding program. I am breeding FCI White Swiss Shepherds to donate pups that temperament test as being Service Dog candidates to training facilities. I can't wait to be a part of the chain that helps give someone part of their independence back. As well as I am training my new PSD and he is 16 months and sailing through training. Last year I also started a Facebook group for Pet Advice and in 1yr it grew to over 1600 members. It gives me a sense of community and a place to be me with a lot less pressures. I am loving being a mom, though my family will always feel incomplete till my sons come home. I am also enjoying ending the legal battles. 7yrs of it was exhausting in every way imaginable. And now we are adjusting to a new rythem of life and just being a normal family. I went from being a mom to 3 amazing children to being told I was an abuser and having my children ripped from me and lied to for years. Then to clearing my name, still having 2 of my children sold and legally kidnapped and then becoming a mom agian to 4 children. It has been a long, emotional and exhausting journey.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=19d651e3e2102701">Map To The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-17592550103928149902016-04-14T07:53:00.001-07:002016-04-14T07:53:10.851-07:00How Blind Do People Have To Be?I just found out my mother has changed her last name again(on FB) to the last name of the guy I was told she was dating. First this would be her 6th marriage if they are married. Second he has grandkids and possibly great grandkids that she will be allowed around and possibly care for unattended. Doesn't matter that she starved kids, doesn't matter that she abused 7 kids in sickening ways, doesn't matter that she came close to killing <span class="text_exposed_show">a couple of them, doesn't matter that my son when he was 3 walked away from her care with many cigerette burns that were deep tissue burns that even a year later had not healed, doesn't matter that he also had many fading bruises healing at different rates all over his little body showing long term horrific physical abuse, doesn't matter that I can go on and on with examples of horrific physical, psychological abuse that she did to 7 children. Doesn't matter that there are 7 victims who have begged the athorities to do something and only get excuses to protect the mistakes CPS has done. She goes on to another relationship and the ability to do it to even more children. I told people once that it would take the death of one of my children before anyone believed me. My children barely escaped with their lives. And I did prove the abuse as stated by the judge and CPS at the trial in September that she did to my children. I seriously believe she will not stop or be stopped till a child dies or becomes seriously disfigured(worse then my 2nd youngest son). And when that happens it will be a day that I scream at all the agencies and police about how they ignored all the victims and continued to do nothing. They will own some of the blame for any child hurt by my mother from the day they decided to protect CPS instead of pursuing charges.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">So what happened with the police case? First even though all the abuse happened in the same province the Crown decided to split the two cases and the excuse given was that they happened in two different towns. So two different jurisdictions. Which meant that even though my kids case had all the physical evidence to easily prove the abuse she committed, that evidence could not be used in the step kids or my case. Fine they could still get a conviction with that. But it also meant the step kids and my case could not be used with my kids case(which would have shown the timeline and that this was a long term, escalating thing for my mother. So my kids case would not be supported by historical evidence. Even though all the step kids and myself, and my daughter had come forward to testify along with the reports on my sons of what happened to them. The RCMP which was handling the step kids case and my case were ready to pursue charges all the way up to last month. Yup you heard that correctly. And the officer I spoke to was shocked that the police from the other town had ALL the physical evidence, records, pictures, doctors reports and so much more to PROVE the abuse. Records that I used in my trial that PROVED beyond any doubt what my mother had done to my kids. And yet were claiming they were closing the case for LACK of evidence. So let me get this straight. A nobody like me with no high school diploma, only some college classes, a stay at home mom and someone with PTSD and Agoraphobia was easily able to prove in a two week trial what she did to my kids but the professionals with all the degrees and training can't? Does that make any sense to anyone? The RCMP didn't have any of that either. They had the witness testimony of others though, not just us. The officer told me that if she had all the evidence that the other police department had that her boss would push her to arrest my mom right away and pursue a trial. She can't figure out why the RCMP have enough with just testimonies to arrest but that the police won't with all the evidence AND testimony. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">So here is why. They are protecting CPS. Pressure had to come down from CPS as the crown told me that it was the cops decision whether to pursue charges or not. Yet when I talked to the officer of the other town who close the file he told me it was the crowns decision. Right. We have a case where my 3 children were being horrifically abused for 3yrs while under the watch of CPS. We have successfully proven in court in September that the abuse occurred, was ongoing and as the Social Worker stated "What we thought was happening in that home and what was truly happening in that home were two drastically different things." If my mother is convicted of the abuse of my children then that leaves CPS open to HUGE problems because my children were under their watch while she did it. That means many social workers, supervisors and higher ups getting into serious trouble. And not only do they ignore all the abuse but they actively pursued keeping my children there instead of returning them to me and then to cover up their GLARING mistakes they pursued selling my children off. Never once thinking that I would continue to fight to prove my innocence.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">AND I WAS SUCCESSFUL. I have the verdict here in my home proving that FACT. Anyone now can get transcripts to the trial from September and read all the evidence, testimonies, doctor reports and so on proving what my mother did to my children. They can also read the multiple professionals that came forward to testify in our behave who have observed our parenting over a long period of time. My mother can continue to lie and manipulate people but unlike me she does not have the evidence to back up her claims. I do. I have my records, CPS's records, the verdict of this trial, anyone can get the transcripts. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">My mother worked hard to make me out to be something I was not to cover up her crimes. But I have to thank her for that. Because of her constantly doing that my entire life I learned to ALWAYS keep any evidence that would show the truth. Always be able to back up my statements. My mother on the other hand, like all narcissists, have nothing to prove her claims other then her wild stories. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Last month when the RCMP called me to tell me they were ready to arrest her I told them no. Yes you read that right. I am 40yrs old now. I have 4 kids at home that need a mom full time, I have spent countless years fighting first to prove my innocence but also to get justice. I won the first part but during that trial I also learned that I will never get justice and my mother will only face justice when she kills a child or seriously disfigures one. With what the crown has done to this case to protect CPS there is little chance at a conviction and if there is one it will be a first offence so she would most likely get off with just probation. It is not worth the stress on my family. It is not worth reliving it all again and watching this truly evil person smile her sneer as she walks away to destroy more kids lives. It would be as much a slap in the face as when I proved I was innocent in September and they still sold my sons. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">I survived. I AM A SURVIVOR. And if I could say something to my mother I would tell her "YOU NEVER BROKE ME! YOU NEVER SHUT ME UP! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE ABOUT YOU! AND I AM NOT ASHAMED AS I SURVIVED A MOSTER FOR A MOTHER!!</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Now I am finally, for the first time in 40yrs, focusing on me. Now I am focusing on my dreams and goals. Now I am fulfilling my dream of being a mom, breeder of Service Dogs, and just seeing who I am after all this hell. I will wait for my sons to find me and learn the truth. And I will support them in what ever they want to do if they want to pursue justice for themselves. I will continue to be an advocate for change within CPS, I will continue to write and give hope to other survivors. I am NOT what she did to me or my children. I AM A SURVIVOR!</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show"><a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=845adb26b7b434a4">Return to Map Of The Blog Page</a></span>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-72826211813446089822016-03-04T17:08:00.001-08:002016-03-04T17:08:14.141-08:00Sheena - My Oldest Son's Dog and My Service DogSheena, a beautiful White German Shepherd, passed peacefully at home yesterday morning in her sleep at the age of 12yrs, on March 3, 2016. She passed quietly as she napped on her favorite couch after sending the girls off to school. She is missed by so many who loved her deeply and her life not only touched more people that I could ever list but she changed peoples lives for the better.<br />
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This beautiful puppy was born on Dec 20th, 2003. She was destine for greatness right from the very beginning. I had purchased her with the intent of training her to be my Psychiatric Service Dog. Something that was still fairly new in the US and unheard of in Canada. Seeing how medication to treat my PTSD and agoraphobia was not an option for me, she was my next option to try to have an independent life. She flew into Montana where I and my now ex husband drove to get her. I picked her up at the airport and didn't let her out of her travel crate till we got to our car. When I open the cage she pranced out full of confidence. It was February 12, 2004 and she walked around like she already owned the world. She feared nothing and immediately came to me and licked my hand and tried to cuddle. On the drive home she was the perfect little angel. She settled in quickly and was adored by Isabeau who had just turned 5 the fall previous. The next day she showed us that she feared nothing. We took her to a garage where a friend of my husbands was working on a demolish car. They were reving the engine really loudly yet she didn't care one bit. Then a huge rotti walked up to us. His head was bigger then her entire body. So I picked her up thinking this giant of a dog might make her fearful. Nope. He came over and stuck his nose in her butt to get a sniff. Her reaction was to reach down and snap at him to let him know that is not how you treat a lady. From that point on I knew I had an Alpha personality on my hands. <br />
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She sailed through training like she was born to it. And frankly she was. No matter how difficult a task she learned it quickly and easily. Every test I put her through she confidently did. She learned more tasks then I could even go into. Some of which that helped with my disability was finding exits, finding a person I was with, body blocking, using her body to create a larger personal space for me. Bringing me drinks when asked, bracing to help me get up when needed, picking up anything I asked for, finding keys, remotes or so on. She even learned to help with the laundry. She would gather clothes on command and put them in a basket, drag the basket from room to room and then to in front of the washing machine. She could then do a paws up on the machine to drop clothes in, she could take them out of the drier and then pull the basket from room to room. I used to joke that if I could teach her to turn on the machines, transfer clothes and to fold I would not need to do laundry ever again. lol She loved to learn new tasks. And since I got pregnant with my oldest son 2 weeks after her arrival, I was more then happy to teach her anything that I thought would help me during my pregnancy. <br />
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She didn't just help me. She helped so many others. My oldest son when born swallowed some of the birth fluid. This affected his ability to make sounds for the first month of his life. If he was in his crib and woke up you could not hear him even on a baby monitor. Sheena had a solution though that I didn't even teach her. From the moment she met my oldest son she camped out in front of his bedroom door if he was in there sleeping. The second he woke up she would come and get me. She watched over him like he was her pup. She loved me, she loved everyone in the family but she lit up for my son. He learned to walk by crawling up on her and holding her tail. When he could crawl and then walk, he would take his blanket and favorite big stuffy into her crate and nap with her. If you wanted to find my son you just had to call Sheena and she would let you know instantly which room he was playing in. Those two were soul mates right from the beginning. And now that I know my oldest son still wants to train dogs I know it was Sheena that started his love of them and created that passion. He was feeding her himself at 2yrs old. Walking her on a leash at 3. People would be amazed to watch this little toddler give commands to this big dog and she would not just listen but rush to do his bidding.<br />
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My son instilled in Sheena a love of children that never died. It was her one fault as a Service Dog. Kids. She just could not completely ignore them. She thought they all needed kisses, or all needed to pet her or toss a ball for her. Many a child that had been hurt by mauling from another dog over came their fear of dogs thanks to Sheena. Parents would see how wonderful she was with children and would ask if they could allow their traumatized children to see Sheena. I never said no to this request. She seem to know just what they needed. She would stay calm and quiet and let them approach her. She would show her belly to invite tummy rums, she would shove a ball over to them to invite them to toss it. She would even do the "military crawl" over to the ones who were really scared, usually to giggles by the time she made it to their side. On one occasion she saved a child from being kidnapped. I used to take my oldest son to a mom/tot play center. They all knew Sheena there and adored her. During reading time some of the kids would use her as a pillow. Parents would come and stay or could drop the kids off to go do shopping or such. One day a man walked in. Not a new thing. Both moms and dads came and Sheena never reacted. But this time she did. She immediately looked at him and started to growl. This alerted the ladies who ran the place as Sheena never reacted that way. They later told me that man did not have custody of his child and had come there in an attempt to take the child without the mother knowing. As soon as they escorted him out Sheena was right back to her normal self. How she knew we will never know but everyone was glad she did.<br />
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Sheena worked hard as a Service Dog but she played just as hard too. She was trained in agility and loved to show off her tricks. But her all time favorite sport was flyball. She LOVED it. She was ball trained as it was for doing tasks. So training her for flyball was easy. For those who don't know what that is it is a relay race for dogs. Two teams of 4 race against each other. The track is straight with 4 jumps spaced evenly apart and a box at the end of them. They jump the jumps, hit the box that has a ball it shoots out, catches it and then turn around and jump back over the jumps to cross the finish line. The team that finishes the fastest with no faults wins. She would run her paws bloody she loved that sport so much. She hated it when we would say she had to stop so as not to over do it. She was usually the anchor dog as she was always steady with not missing jumps. Her fastest time was 5.4 seconds. <br />
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Sheena also was a mom. She changed my life so much that she created the dream of me wanting to give the gift of independence to others. So we decided to breed her. We did the health tests and researched to find a good stud. And the results was a beautiful litter of 6. One of which we did donate to be a Service Dog. And Polar made his mom proud by accomplishing our dream for him. Sadly he passed away last year but he changed his families life just as much as Sheena changed ours. One of her other pups actually saved my life when my ex was abusing me. He was slamming the back of my head against a brick wall and I could not fight back. Ajax bloodied his paws and mouth tearing open his metal crate to slip out and attack my ex giving me enough time to get up the stairs and outside so neighbors could call the cops. I don't know what would have happened if he had not done that. She was a dedicated mom to her litter and they went on to have wonderful lives. Sadly Sheena does not get to see us continue this dream but she was the foundation of this dream and as this year progresses our dream for our kennel will come to fruition. <br />
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Sheena also helped pick my partner that I have today. I was at a friends house, who adored Sheena, and he was visiting. I had only met him a few hours earlier. Our friend asked me to go get Sheena as everyone loves Sheena. I lived across the street so I went and got her. When I came in the door you could hear him asking what is a "Sheena". There was a long hallway that Sheena and I walked through and then you turn a corner to enter the living room where they all were. Sheena at this time was not a fan of men after being witness to my ex beating on me on countless occasions. She ignored men most of the time. But when we came around the corner she changed. Between him and her was a large coffee table. He took one look at her and said "She is gorg..." before he could finish she had leaped over the table and was in his lap licking his face. She never greeted anyone like that, ever. Everyone's mouth dropped open in shock. She chose him and I trusted her.<br />
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Sadly through the years Sheena lost her soul mate, my oldest son, through lies and perjury. As I was able to show in court this past September, my children were literally legally kidnapped. She was so depressed about that. She never forgot my son. Even just a month ago I could say my sons name and she would race through the house looking for him and whining. She never lost her love for him and it broke my heart that even though my name was cleared in court of any wrong doing that led to my sons being placed and kept in care, that the court did not right the wrongs done but allowed my sons to be sold to a family who were proven to lie to professionals to keep them from their own proven loving family. I honestly think that is why she held on so long. She was hoping her boy would return to her so she could say goodbye.<br />
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Sheena changed many lives through the years. By the time her PSD training was complete she was only the 2nd Psychiatric Service Dog ever in all of Canada and the first in Western Canada. She was a part in the meetings for writing the Alberta Service Dog Act. She was so well mannered and well trained that the people running the meetings thought she was facility trained. They were shocked to learn that she was owner trained and I used how good she was trained as a basis to get people to consider testing for Owner Trainers to do be able to train their own Service Dogs. We were advocates for Owner Trainers and Disabled people who work with Service Dogs. We opened many businesses doors that were previously closed to Service Dog users, we changed many business people minds. All it took was them meeting Sheena and observing her working and they would give us the time to teach them their rights. Sheena got to be so well known that business would ask us to do presentations to their staff about Service Dogs, working with disabled patrons and their business rights. She also knew with an uncanny ability to tell when people were depressed or having anxiety or panic issues. If she was not on duty at that time she would go an alert for others as well. She would attempt to help them as she would help me. People would be shocked when she would do it for them and when I asked them if they were ok they would tell me they were upset or anxious. Many a person, adult and child, cried on Sheena and accepted her comfort and support. Her greatest joy was being able to show everyone love.<br />
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Her last years were spent watching her family grow once more. First with our beautiful son Nico. She was so happy the day we brought him home. Then Isabeau coming back home as well. Then this summer her pack grew by 2 more. Another son and daughter. She will be remembered by all and will never be forgotten. I will never be able to repay her all the love, confidence, independence and so much more that she offered to me and everyone else. She had 4 feet and a tail but she changed the world for everyone that let her. <br />
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We love you Sheena and you will never be forgotten.<br />
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For pictures: <a href="http://phoenixrisingwhiteswissshepherds.com/sheena">Sheena pictures</a><br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=fbc708f59920fc60">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-61208363853474551702016-01-01T09:14:00.000-08:002016-01-01T09:14:03.049-08:00Saying Goodbye to 2015After the year I had had I had 0 desire to write anything more in that year. So decided to wait till this morning to do my New Year post. 2015 was not a great year though we did have 2 amazing things happen. One is our family grew. I can't go into details about this yet but it was something we hoped and dreamed about and never thought would happen. This made for a much more amazing Christmas Holiday Season for our family. The other amazing thing was finally clearing my name of all the lies my mother and my ex tried to convince everyone of and that kept me from my sons. Having a judge state in open court that I never abused my children or was an addicted, after 7yrs of fighting to prove this, was indescribable. And it did show my sons were legally kidnapped from me all based on the lies of the people who actually did abuse them. And sadly they, my daughter and myself have a life sentence now all because the legislation protects the people adopting children and not the birth families. I can't imagine what the couple who has them will tell them when the truth finally comes out. Will they deny knowing the truth? That will be hard to do since I proved in open court that they were informed and that they not only knew but lied to the professionals evaluating my sons for the trial. Lied to the point that even the departments own child psychologist stated over and over again that he found it very concerning and then shook my hand in the end stating I was the most professional self litigant he had ever encountered. How will they explain to my sons that they were a part of legally kidnapping them from their birth family. How they actively sought to cut contact between them and their sister and mother all because they wanted to "own" them. Adoption is suppose to be for children who do not already have loving and fit parents. How will they explain to my sons that my name was cleared. I was innocent and yet they still actively sought to kidnap my sons from their family. They can try all they want to deny it but just like I used the departments own records to show the departments corruptions, the couples lies to the assessors, I will be using those same records to show my sons the truth when they find us. And they will find us because my daughter and I will never stop making ourselves known so we are easily found. They may get a few years of my sons to themselves but it won't last forever. Another positive is we found out we are grandparents. Doug's oldest, who is in her 20's, had a beautiful baby with her husband. This is an exciting chapter for us both.<br />
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Since the trial so really hard things have happened. First is we discovered my oldest son's dog has cancer. She turned 12 this past December. She has a large mass in her abdomen. She no longer can be fed any type of kibble. To keep her healthy and her weight at a good level she is still getting raw but is also getting cooked meals every day. She is fed 4 times a day now. So far she is doing ok. It broke my heart when I found out, soon after the trial was over. I knew I would not be able to keep my promise to her of having her boy being able to see her again before she goes. We don't know how many months she has left and if she even has months. Right now we are just taking it day to day. She is still active at times, though has really slowed down, still trying to protect our home and family. We are not pursuing surgery as she is too old to handle it. We prefer to keep her comfortable and when she shows us that her quality of life has deteriorated to the point that she is not happy or comfortable we will give her the final gift. <br />
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Another negative and the most scary thing was 2 weeks prior to Christmas I ended up with sever pain in my abdomen. I brushed it off as menstrual cramps as I was lightly bleeding. Thanks to all my mother did to me mentally I always worry that when I go into the hospital for some reason they will think the issue is not important enough to be there. I have no issue taking my children in when needed but when it comes to myself getting up the ability to bypass my anxiety and agoraphobia at times to go in is almost impossible. I told Doug that it was just cramping though in reality I was in extreme pain, and went about my chores and daily routines as normal. Doug left with Nico to do some pick ups for Christmas on Sunday the 13th. The pain had gotten to the point that I could barely stand so I went in to have a hot bath and planned to take some pain killers and go to sleep to try and sleep it off. By the time I got out of the tub I felt like someone was cutting me in half. Isabeau opened the bathroom door, thinking I was still in the tub, to let me know Doug was home and saw me leaning over the dryer holding back a scream. She ran straight outside to get Doug. Isabeau knew pain never stopped me from doing things that needed to be done so when she saw me in that condition she knew something really bad was wrong. Doug came racing in and handed Nico to Isabeau. All I said was "I need to go in." He knew exactly what I meant. He quickly got me dressed and into the van. When we got to the ER and I gave them my symptoms they let us right in. Which is shocking as wait times are usually really long. They got me on pain killers right away which helped as at this point I could neither stand up straight or sit down. <br />
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The doctors said they need to do an internal exam as I tested positive for pregnancy even though Doug and I use protection. This is hard enough for me to do even on the best of days with being a rape survivor. But the pain was terrifying me so I told them to just do it. For those that know me that is not normal for me. I didn't even argue about the IV or blood tests(and I have a needle phobia). From that test they decided on an ultrasound. The initial one didn't have viable results so they had to do an internal one. Even with the high dose of pain meds this was excruciating and I held back many screams. The tech was so nice and kept apologizing and trying to keep me talking. But about half way through she got silent. Doug and I knew then that something was seriously wrong. We went back to our bed and waited for the results. And that didn't take long. The doctor came back with a surgeon. <br />
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They explained I had an ectopic pregnancy. They said my 2 choices was do nothing and die or have surgery. They said they figured the pregnancy was in the right tube. I was in complete shock at this point. I asked how long till surgery and they said the issue is so sever that they would call everyone in that was needed as soon as I signed the forms. This blew my mind as it meant my life was literally at stake. I signed the forms and Doug put in the calls to our friends for emergency support to go take care of the kids. In less then an hour from signing the forms I was up in the surgery suite. This was around 11pm. Doug went up with me but as soon as they took me away he headed for home to check on the kids and get some items. He said he would be there when I woke up. I was completely terrified as the surgeon explained every surgery has it's risks. <br />
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I remember waking up for a bit after surgery shivering so hard and painfully as people around the room we taking care of their duties and me. The next memory I have is waking up to Doug asleep in the chair next to me. Then again to him asleep on the floor in the corner of my room. Only once did I ask for pain relief. I am not a fan of how the narcotic pain relief makes my head feel. Thanks to the pain meds though I didn't feel too much pain. The surgeon knew of my PTSD and agoraphobia. So he gave strict instructions for me to be on bed rest for a whole week and very limited duties for 2. No heavy work or picking up items for 4 weeks. He didn't know me well. lol I got to leave the hospital by late Monday afternoon.<br />
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I went home still in shock and not having processed all the past two days occurrences. The next few days was dealing with sleeping and pain. All I allowed myself to think about was what needed to be done for all the kids for Christmas. I was so worried about disappointing them. After 4 days I was back to wrapping gifts, 6 days I was trying to do other things. I even found a way to help a local group with Christmas Hampers for families needing help by donating freezer space. Doug had to take the first week off but thanks to our incredible friends and a family who heard our story we got some help to cover food for Christmas since Doug had to take that week off. Our Christmas was relaxed and happy and the kids had a great time.<br />
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Now I am processing what happened and what could have happened. The surgeon had told us that the pregnancy was actually in the left tube and that it had already burst by the time he cut into me. That is how close I came to death. If I had done my plan of pain meds and sleep I might not have woken up. I would have died with 0 chance to say anything to my sons. This terrified me and still does. I came so close to losing my life before ever being able to hug them and tell them how much I love them. Both my tubes were removed. So now not only did I come close to death but there is 0 possibility of Doug and I having the gift of any more babies. Some days I am ok with this. Some days I cry about this. <br />
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One thing this scare did was cause Doug and I to look at our relationship. We have been together now for over 6yrs. We have both been in long term relationships before and usually by this point there were so many negatives happening in the relationship that we knew it was on the way out. Doug and I though realize our relationship is the complete opposite. Every year we get closer. We depend more and more on each other, we communicate better. This scare really showed us that we are 100% sure we never want to be apart. Our home, even with so many huge things happening, is so relaxed, happy. We are both on the same page for our short and long term goals. We work great together. He has made sure to show me or tell me each day just how much he loves me and appreciates me. <br />
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I have 0 issue with saying goodbye to 2015.<br />
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Our hopes for 2016? Well my oldest son will be turning 12 and I hope soon he will seek us out. Isabeau did when she was 14. My door will always be open to my sons and I will never turn them away. Our other hope is to finally start my dream again of my kennel of breeding exceptional dogs to produce puppies that could be Service Dog candidates. These pups we will donate to trainers and facilities, or individuals(who have a trainer to help them) to train to become potential Service Dogs for disabled people. I had to put this dream on hold for years to fight the battle for my children and to clear my name. Now we are in a position to start it up again. So hopefully this coming year will see our family coming together, maybe contact with my sons again(I will never stop hoping for this), and hoping to see one of my dreams come true with the Kennel. <br />
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Another hope is that I will finally get to meet my dad again. It has been 29yrs since I last saw him. I was 10. Every year that goes by since we found each other 3yrs ago scares me that we might not ever have the chance to see each other before something happens to either of us. My children deserve a grandparent like him in their lives. I want to meet my 5 brothers. I want to get to know my extended family. Healthy family. Maybe it will happen this year.<br />
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Thank you so much to all my friends and family who stepped up when we needed help with no complaints or issues. I hope 2016 sees a great year for everyone.<br />
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Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-20129027901604109412015-10-28T19:22:00.000-07:002015-10-28T19:22:00.485-07:00An Adoptive Mother Fighting For The Rights Of Biological ParentsAs you know I am not one to post others blogs but again in less then a month I find a writer that I must acknowledge on my blog.<br />
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<a href="https://www.adoption.net/a/adopting/blogs-adopting/adoptive-mothers-must-lead-the-fight-against-unethical-adoptions/32569/">Adopting Mothers Must Lead the Fight Agianst Unethical Adoptions</a><br />
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This writer is a mother. An adoptive mother. And she fights for what she calls ethical adoptions. She says it is the duty of any adoptive parent to ensure that the adoption they are pursuing is an adoption that has been willingly consented by all parents unless there are very clear signs of abuse or neglect. <br />
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This writer has earned my respect in spades. She says the same as I have. That adoption is about finding families for children who do not have loving parents who are capable of taking care of them. Not about providing children at all cost to adopting parents to choose from. She even goes on to say that that means if an adopting parent finds out that the adoption was not ethically done that it is the adopting parents ethical duty to ensure the rights of the biological parents are upheld and that the child they claim to love has the right to be raised in their biological home first and foremost.<br />
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So where does that leave the couple who has my sons? They know, and have known for a very long time, that what they were told about how my children ended up in care and about me was lies. They also know I have been cleared of all abuse and cleared of ever being an addict. Would this woman, also an adopting parent, consider them ethical in the fact that they know I am fit, they know I am able and they know I am willing and have been for many years(since prior to the PGO being granted). My children were placed with them because of lies and unethical workers. Yet where were they in fighting for the rights of my sons and their right to be returned home to their one true mother? <br />
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As this lady goes on to say, my sons will grow up. They will ask questions and I will make it very easy to find me. This couple can't shut me up and they can only shut me out for so long. What will be their answer to my sons questions when they find my blog and learn the truth of how they were legally kidnapped. How will they explain how they condoned my sons kidnapping? How will they explain how they condoned the cutting out of their sister from their lives and the couples part in that? How will they explain the lies they were told by the workers and the couple about me and their sister? Their perfect "family" unit is on a path that they are not prepared for.<br />
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Unlike them though I do have the answers. I don't need to think up more lies to cover more lies as they will have to. I will show them all the proof and evidence I have when they find me. This couple can buy them all the stuff they want and take them on all the trips they want to. But none of that will save them from the truth coming out. None of that will stop my sons from finding me and when the truth is learned all of what this couple did to have this "perfect family" at the expense of the destruction of their biological family, the reaction might be the complete cost of what they deem are their sons. <br />
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Maybe they should read this article and learn about what ethics are and what adoption is meant to be.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=61ad5bae11db37b2">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-29875464385220097592015-10-28T08:56:00.001-07:002015-10-28T08:56:55.444-07:00My Letter to Rachel Notley and Justin TrudeauI wrote to them this morning. I will let you all know if I get a response. I will continue to write to them and others till we are heard. I have proven over 7yrs I will not go away or stop. I have no intention to now.<br />
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"To the leader of Alberta and the leader of this beautiful country I have always called home. My name is Nicole. I am a 39yr old mother to 4 absolutely beautiful children. I am also a voice to victims of childhood abuse, rape, domestic violence and of the Children and Family Services of Alberta as well as a voice for justice for those the police ignore in their duties to serve and protect.<br /><br /> I was born and raised in this beautiful country that I always thought was a place of freedom and justice. I always trusted the justice system and those in charge of our government and working for government agencies. Call me naïve but I always thought truth would always conquer lies. Well I learned a hard truth this past September after a 7yr fight.<br /><br />Just a little back history to understand where I am coming from. I was raised by a severely abusive mother. A woman that has gone on to abuse 7 children all total. Myself, 3 step children who are now adults and my first 3 children. Even though I went to authorities about the abuse many times(first time when I was 16, then again when I was 19, and again in 2013), and even though 5 of the 7 victims of this womans abuse came forward to police willing to testify and giving their statements in the 2013 investigation, and even though they had doctor reports of cigarette burns to a 3yr old(resulting in deep tissue trauma that was still there and not healed a year later), statements of having to eat thrown up dog food, statements of having urine soaked shirts wrapped around their heads till their eyes burned, statements from victims of repeated death threats, of being left out in sever cold and the elements with no protective clothes and in some cases just their underwear, pictures of one of the children in a malnourished state along with multiple bruising, statements of being tied to beds and chairs for hours on end, statements of being locked in rooms from 5pm at night till 7am in the morning with no access to bathroom. I could go on and on. This woman has never been charged. Not once. We the victims keep being told there is not enough evidence and that because of the fact she abused us all in different cities(though same province) they are required to split up the investigation so that the supporting evidence to the abuse of my kids does not help the step kids or my case. As well as the supporting history and evidence of the step kids case and my case(which shows the history and cycle of abuse) can not help my childrens case. My daughter who is 16 and was brave enough to go to police and give her statement is feeling totally abandoned by our justice system. The police excuse for not even talking to the abuser is that she refused to come in to the station. So a serial child abuser can walk free and not even be charged with her crimes just because she refuses to talk? Is that justice? 5 victims(4 of them adults) come forward to police willing to testify and still no charges are laid even with picture evidence, doctors reports, community witnesses and the victims own statements along with Child and Family Services records backing up everything stated is not enough to have an abuser charged so that the victims can have a voice at trial? Could you please explain to me why that is?<br /><br />Again a bit of back story. Because of being raised in horrific abuse(only the tip of the iceburg is listed above), I followed the usual pattern and married someone who ended up also being an abuser. We had 3 beautiful children together but he was also an addict which I learned shortly after the birth of my 3rd son. I also have PTSD and Agoraphobia because of the abuse I was raised in and being raped at 12. After learning of the addictions of my husband I went to my doctor in Dec 2007, like we are advised too, to get help for post partum depression. I was depressed, not suicidal. He put me on medication. Both of us not realizing that I am susceptible to the rare side effects. One of the side effects of the medication he put me on was suicidal thoughts and tendencies. Within 2 months I was so depressed I was suicidal. But my doctor did not realize the medication was the issue. Because of that and my husband(at the time) addictions Child and Family Services stepped in. AS THEY SHOULD HAVE. I needed help. They removed my children and placed them with my mother, even though they knew her history of horrifically abusing myself and her previous step children. With in a few months my children stated to show the signs of trama and abuse. But my mother convinced CFS that I was abusing my children when I visited or called them. During this time the medication kept me in a deep depression and because of having a mental illness CFS prejudged me. They offered me no supports in the small town I resided in.<br /> <br /> After a year and a half(in May of 2009) my new psychologist in a new city I moved too, realized that it was the medication and took me off of all of it. My life stabilized completely. The October previous I had got a new therapist and attended group therapy at the victims of domestic violence run in the Womens Shelter and continued to attend for over a year. I learned so much I left my ex and never looked back. I fought like crazy to get my children back but because of my mothers lies, the prejudice of the workers I never had a chance. I was not an addict. I was not a criminal. I had never abused my children, though my mother convinced them I had, all the while she was abusing them herself. I had to resort to video taping all visits(every week), audio taping all meetings with workers because the lies were coming from the workers themselves. But no matter what I did, regardless of legislation in the CFS Acts stating they are to do all they can to keep the domestic violence victim parent with the children, I lost the PGO in Nov of 2010. I was naïve to family court then and to working with lawyers. As soon as trial was over, yet a month before a verdict CFS cut my contact with my kids. No termination visit, no goodbye offered. Nothing. Yet no safety concerns noted.<br /><br /> Now I know most people will think this is just an angry abusive mom who rightfully lost her children complaining. That is where my story is different. After the PGO was granted and all contact terminated I still didn't give up. I knew it was granted on lies. And doing what any person would do if falsely accused and having their family ripped apart, I never stopped fighting to clear my name. My new partner(since the fall of 2009), and now fiancé, and I knew there was literally nothing we could say or do to prove my innocence. The prejudice against mental illness is that strong. That we decided the only way to prove I was not what I was accused of was to have another baby together. After 6 miscarriages we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy in the fall of 2012. 2 months prior to him being born I was made aware that in the spring of 2011, 5 months after the PGO was granted against me and the permanency plan was for my children to stay at my mothers, my children had been removed from her for exactly the horrific abuse that I and the step children had been saying was happening all along. I learned this from a community member who witnessed some of it. I had repeatedly emailed workers and called them asking for updates and to send gifts never once being told this happened. Because of my son showing signs of a cleft in utero though we did not contact CFS right away. Our community support worker(Bridges is what they are called and they are mandated reporters who are funded through CFS and who we brought into our home when we were 5 months pregnant) knew all of this. We decided to wait till he had his first 2 week check up at the Children's Hospital before contacting CFS in the town my kids had been at for re-evaluation. But my daughter(then 14) changed that by contacting us after he was only a week old via FB. She had been told I didn't want her, had abused her and could not take care of a child. She immediately demanded to see me. Her worker was not happy as she wanted my children to be adopted and told me straight to my face that it did not matter how the PGO was granted but that it was granted and my children no longer belonged to me and there is no obligation on the departments part, no matter how the PGO is obtained, to ever re-evaluate the biological parents. And that I was living in a fantasy land if I ever though I would get my children back. She didn't know me. I immediately went to the police, as they never did even with the condition of my then 3yr old upon removal from my mothers. And started the investigation into my mother and her abuse with all 3 step kids agreeing to testify as well as my daughter. <br /><br /> My sons in the fall of 2012 were matched with a prospective family yet no meeting had taken place by the time I contacted their worker. The worker rushed the meeting and rushed them into this couples care at the other end of the province and then cut contact between my daughter and her brothers with no explanation to my daughter as to why once she and I started having visits. Then she passed my daughters file on to another worker. THis worker actually read the file and admitted to my face that grievous errors had been made. That I never abused my children or was an addict but since she did not have my sons file she could not return them but she could return my daughter to me. June of 2014 my daughter was permanently home. Dec 2014 her PGO was rescinded. In the spring of 2014 I learned of the new legislation that allows a parent to file to have the PGO reviewed by a judge. I immediately filed. I had no lawyer, I had no legal help what so ever. What I had was an intense knowledge of this case that no one else had, I was a mother who had never given up proving I was fit, able and willing. In June of 2014 I received full disclosure from the department of my childrens file and I was completely appalled by what I saw. They knew of the abuse. My mother turned on every person working with my children and her within 2 months of contact with me being cut. Even knowing and having doctors records, witness statements and so on of the abuse they still did not go to police, seek child lead therapy for my children or even contact me admitting their mistake or to work with reuniting my children and I. They instead proceeded to cover it up. I demanded a trial. I was bringing ever professional support person I had brought into my life to show my fitness to trial. I had proven so well that my home was fit and I was mentally capable of parenting that I never lost custody of my 4th, got my daughter back and now am on a journey where our family will be growing even more. CFS here in the city I now reside in has deemed us fit and when a criminal records check was done my partner and I are both cleared for the vulnerable sectors search. I had 6 professional witness, all working for, funded for, or contracted with CFS here in my city testifying to watching me parent regularly over a long period of time and to how fit I am. The trial was 2 weeks long. I self represented. <br /><br /> And the verdict? I was CLEARED of ever abusing my children. I was CLEARED of ever being an addict. The judge deemed me fit, able and willing to take my sons back. So why do I not have them in my custody? Because of legislation. The Alberta legislation is written so that no matter how a PGO is granted that after it is granted, if the parent can't afford to appeal within 30 days of the verdict(my case), that there is 0 obligation to ever consider the parents for re-evaluation. It does not matter if you prove clear prejudice. It does not matter if the workers involved in pursuing the PGO admit in hindsight that they were wrong and if they could go back they would not pursue removing my children from me(I have their own records to prove this). It does not matter if you prove omitted facts, prove altered records, prove the workers perjured themselves. It does not matter that you can prove clear prejudice(their own records show this). So because they cut contact between my sons and I with no court order and refused to re-establish it no matter the hundreds of times I asked, because of "Best Interest of the Child" I lost part b of the trial. My sons, my daughter and myself now have a life sentence of never seeing each other. Why? What crime did we commit? I was cleared after fighting to prove my fitness for 7yrs. Fighting incredible odds to do so. My children were literally LEGALLY KIDNAPPED. Is that the justice system in Canada. That a parent can commit no crime, prove they are innocent of all charges and still lose their children permanently? <br /><br /> I am asking for an investigation into CFS (city names removed). I am asking for an investigation into my childrens file and the workers involved as I can assure you the criminal acts shown in their own records is appalling. I am also asking for an investigation into how this legislation in Alberta is written. No family, who proves they are innocent and fights so hard to get their children back, should have a life sentence of being destroyed while the actual abuser and the workers who did not do their jobs continue to do what they are doing. If a family proves they are innocent and shows they are fit then the family should be reunited with access to all supports to help that reunification happen. I have fought for 7yrs to clear my name. I won that. I will continue to fight to have my story heard till someone, somewhere stops this from happening to anyone else and my family finally sees justice. I can assure you I am not going away.<br /> <br /> My partner and I voted for you. We saw you as a man of integrity, justice, and a family man. How long would you fight to have your children returned to you if you knew you lost custody on the lies and lack of ethics of other people?"<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=73a7a7d4ee00ed32">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-47161302389989143202015-10-18T21:55:00.001-07:002015-10-18T21:55:56.188-07:00My Middle Son Is Now 8yrs OldHappy belated b-day MY son. Sorry I couldn't post yesterday. We were not home the past few days so had no ability to post to you on your special day.<br />
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Yesterday was a hard day for me. You were constantly on my mind. I thought about the 9 1/2 months I was pregnant with you. How sick to my stomach I was during it. I thought about the terror I felt when I started to bleed in the 8th month for working my body too much. I wanted you from the second I knew you existed. You were such a mover that your name, which means baby seal, was easy to decide on. I could feel you doing flips and moving around a lot. You had zero desire to leave my belly. You felt so safe. When you were 2 weeks late I tried to have you induced without medication several times. Never worked. So finally the doctor decided to spread a cream on me that would induce contractions. Within 30 minutes I was in agony. I had never in my life felt pain like that. The only thing that kept me going was knowing you would be my reward at the end. For 5 hours I went through the most painful labour I would ever go through. Even your little brother who was 2lbs heavier then you was not near as painful. I knew it had to be the medication. My labor with you was the shortest out of you and your 3 siblings though. So thank you so much for that my sweet boy. <br />
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When they laid you in my arms I was completely exhausted and so were you. The first 24 hours was terrifying as the medication from the epidural made you so tired you had little desire to breast feed. But once it was out of your system you chowed down happily. You were a complete joy right from the start. You were a very happy baby. You loved to smile and giggle. Nothing phased you or bothered you. You were strong as well. Within a week you could lay on your belly, push up with your hands and arms and hold you head up and your upper chest up for a few seconds. You also like to stand. You would constantly push with your feet to try and stand up. You loved to be a part of everything going on. We even took you to flyball competitions. You would shriek with joy as the dogs barked and ran their course. The noise did not bother you at all. Between heats you loved our friends coming over and holding you. You were a very friendly and relaxed baby. You could even sleep through the non stop barking.<br />
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Your crib was right beside my bed. For the first 5 months of your life you never left my sight. It was the worst day of my life when they came and took you away. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I needed help my son but I never did anything to deserve losing you and you never did anything wrong to deserve to lose me or your siblings. I never abused you by sweet boy. I never was an addict as so many have tried to lie to you about. You will grow up hearing the worst lies imaginable about me and my life with you and your siblings. I wish I could ensure you heard the truth. You were always wanted and I am and was fit to raise you. <br />
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I am so sorry that during the 3yrs you were with your grandmother that you were put through such horrific things. I cried so hard when I read many of what you had been through from your file. You never did anything to deserve those things. It was never your fault. I know you most likely don't remember me or our many visits. But you felt loved by both me and Donald Duck as you and your older brother called him. You never stopped laughing with us. Your smile was infectious and your appetite was huge. You loved my cooking so much you always begged to take it home. <br />
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I am so sorry you have been ripped from your real family. A crime has been committed to you, your siblings and your entire family. A crime that should never happen to any child or family. YOU ARE A KIDNAPPED CHILD!! YOUR BROTHER IS A KIDNAPPED CHILD!! And some day you will both know the truth. Just because the legislation and a piece of paper says you are someone elses does not change the crime that was committed. It only made it legal kidnapping. I have been cleared of ever abusing you. Which means the PGO that was used to cut me and your sister out of your lives should never have been granted because it was granted on falsified information, proven perjured information, omitted facts and clear prejudice. And since the PGO should never have been granted that means I committed no crime that would have made it legal to adopted you to someone else without my consent. And I never consented. I never agreed and I never stopped fighting to bring you home or prove my innocence. <br />
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I will make sure the world knows that this government legally kidnaps children from parents who are not only fit but have cleared their name. I and others will work hard to change the legislation to ensure this never happens to another child or family. That will be your and your brothers legacy.<br />
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Some day you will find this blog. Some day you will know the truth as the truth has a way of coming out. May take a while but it will. Know on that day my door is always open. No piece of paper will cause me to ever accept another person as your parent. You will always be a member of this family and every child in it will grow up knowing who you and your brother are. You have a much larger and growing family then you know right now and every single one of them know your story and love you dearly. <br />
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Happy 8th b-day my son. I hope it was a great one.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=626273fe82e5f486">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-86892606126806865272015-10-13T11:26:00.001-07:002015-10-13T11:26:14.620-07:00WHEN DID KIDNAPPING BECOME A LEGAL CRIME?If you think what happened to me and my children never happens please check out this recent story:<br />
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<a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/parents-cleared-abuse-denied-return-6621591">Parent's Cleared of Abuse Yet Denied Return Of Their Child</a><br />
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Society sadly has the misconception that if a social worker makes a mistake, if the parent can prove they are innocent, if they change their life around, that in the end they will get their children back. That is simply not the case. Social workers can ignore the rules of their job. They can make judgments solely based on how much they like someone with no evidence to back it up. Leaving parents desperate for help to save their family as their children are legally kidnapped from them. Knowing they are innocent yet having to suffer a life sentence of pain and suffering.<br />
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If someone is wrongly convicted of a crime they are granted their freedom along with an apology. If it is proven in court that people perjured themselves, lied on court documents, falsified records and so on then the judgment is thrown out against them. Their records cleared. So what happens to a family who loses their children because of lies, workers not doing their due diligence, prejudice and so on? They may be cleared as I have been but they will be required to forever suffer a life sentence because in the family courts the adopting families have more rights and more protections then the biological family.<br />
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I reside in Canada. When people think of Canada they usually think of a free country. Where people have rights and freedoms. Where families are protected and safe. Really? In my case the judge pointed out that even though I proved I was fit, able and willing, had been proven as such for a very long time, proved that I never abused my children, proved that I was never an addict, even proved that the one person making all the false allegations against me was actually the one abusing my children in horrific ways. Along with proving that the workers lied in documents meant for court, proved their falsified information to cover up their reasons for decisions, proved they did not do their due diligence, proved they did not investigate any abuse of my children by the monster abusing them and were clearly prejudice against me because of my mental illness. And yet even with proving all of that I and my children all will continue to suffer a life sentence. Why? <br />
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Where is our justice? For 7yrs I have had so many people turn on me, lost many friends, been looked down upon, seen as a liar, an abuser and addict all because of the lies of the actual abuser and of the department. I had to fight tooth and nail to prove that I was not any of those things. My life has gone through so much unnecessary heart ache and pain. Yet where is my crime? <br />
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In Canada if a PGO is granted against a parent and if they have no means or ability to appeal in 30 days then there is literally nothing they can do to get their children back if the social worker does not want to give them back. You can prove all that I did and there is nothing in the legislation requiring them to return your children. They are protected under the "Best Interest Of The Child". As after the PGO is granted their job then turns to adopting them out. It does not matter if workers admit they should have never pursued the PGO(as they did in my case). It does not matter if they admit in hindsight that they did wrong by the family and if they could go back they would never do it again(as they did in my case). It does not matter if you are cleared of ever abusing your children or of ever being an addict. It does not matter. Don't take my word for it. Go read the legislation of your province. There is 0 protection of the biological parent after a PGO is granted no matter what you can prove after. There are no checks and balances. <br />
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The legislation is designed to protect the workers ability to take children from families to provide a diverse selection of children to adopting homes and those homes will have all the protection that the government can provide. All the legal expertise, all the medical supports, all the financial supports if the biological parents try to fight the injustice that they end up proving.<br />
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Do I feel bad for the adopting parents in this case. A little. But not enough to say the child should remain with them. Why should a biological parent suffer a life sentence, and a child the same, when they have been proven innocent? They carried that baby for 9 months. Went through the hopes and dreams and planning of bringing this special little one into their life. They went through the physical and emotional pains for 9 months to bring them into this world. It is not right that a government can walk in and take a child on lies and sell them to someone else leaving the parents to continue to suffer. Laws and legislation needs to be changed to protect those families that prove their are innocent. It should be mandatory that if a family proves they are innocent and the wrong doing was on the workers part then the government should have to pay the costs for all the therapy and supports needed to reunify the family who has been through hell and back.<br />
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WHEN DID KIDNAPPING BECOME A LEGAL CRIME???!!!<br />
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Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-34300253273691572012015-10-12T08:33:00.003-07:002015-10-12T08:33:54.396-07:00MY Oldest Sons 11th BirthdayHappy Birthday MY son. I so hope you have a wonderful day. This birthday is an amazing one because it falls in the same time as the year of your birth. You were born the day after Thanksgiving on a Monday. Just like today. Yesterday was Thanksgiving, the year you were born we spent Thanksgiving day at some of your extended families. I remember that day vividly. There were a lot of people there. Tons of really yummy food. But I could not eat. I was so tired. Not hungry at all and very uncomfortable. We stayed as long as we could and then I went home to rest. The next morning I went from uncomfortable to labor. And then 13hours later you were born. This absolutely perfect little baby boy. Who was so much like me in so many ways.<br />
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When your sister was born she was independent right from the start. She wanted to do everything herself, loved things a certain way, liked animals but could take them or leave them. Very much a girly girl where I was a tom boy. You on the other hand was my little cuddler. You were independent too but you preferred me to be close by so you could show me your accomplishments. You love to explore and you were fearless. You adored animals. Especially the dogs and especially Sheena. From the second you entered the house from the hospital you and Sheena were inseparable. I put your car seat on the floor and a little treat at the end of it near your feet. She came over and sniffed you and you grabbed her nose. She just licked your hand and laid down next to the carrier. I don't know how she knew but she knew you could not make any sounds from swallowing the birth fluid during birth. When you would sleep she would camp outside of your door and alert me as soon as you woke up since even the baby monitor could not pick up your sounds for the first month. She followed you around that house no matter where I would carry you too. If I was breast feeding you in your room she would sleep under the crib. If I was changing you she would sit next to the changing table. If you were in your playpen she would lay right next to it. If anyone was holding you she would sit right next to them. Many times she would put her head within reach of your hands for you to grab her fur or for her to sneak a kiss. As soon as you could sit up and roll yourself around your goal was always to make your way to Sheena. You loved the feel of her fur in your hands. She would bring you her toys and even her own for you to grab and feel. <br />
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Once you could crawl more adventure between the two of you started to happen. She would follow you where ever you would go. She would whine if she felt the freedom I gave you to explore or try things was too much in her mind. She was so protective of you. At this point you noticed her crate that we kept in the living room for her to have personal space. If Sheena was in there you would garb your blanket or a favorite toy and crawl over and climb in. You would all curl up together and take a nap. She would not move a muscle till you woke up other then to kiss a hand or your forehead. This was a multiple daily occurrence all the way up to the day you were removed. When you started to learn to stand and then walk you did it by first pulling yourself up along her side as she would slowly stand up next to you. Then you would hold her tail or the fur on her side or shoulder and she would slowly move forward. At this point the real adventure began. <br />
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You quickly discovered that anything you threw she would retrieve for you without a thought. You would throw toys or anything you could find over and over again and squeal with joy each and every time she brought it back to you. When I was teaching you to clean your room you learned quickly if you pointed at something she would get it for you making room cleaning fun. When you started to talk you called her Eena. When you could say words like Tay(stay), it(sit) I started to teach you basic commands. It was so fun to see you light up with joy as you would give her commands at 20 months old and this huge dog would listen. You started feeding her yourself, with adult supervision of course. You would tell her to It and Tay and she would sit and stay. Then you would help me fill the dishes. Then you would stand in front of her and swing your arm down as you tried to say OK releasing her to eat. <br />
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At two you were learning to walk her around the yard on leash and she would walk perfectly next to your side. You would always get so happy as strangers walked by commenting on what a great little dog trainer you were. You would stop and she would sit and nuzzle your hand for attention. You wanted to learn so much about dog training and I was happy to show you. My passion has always been training dogs. I have been doing it since I was younger then 8yrs. Isabeau was a story teller right from the time she could talk and then write. I knew she would be a writer. You had my passion and adoration for dogs right from birth. Just like me. I knew you were going to work with them or animals. You had the quiet personality to help animals feel calm and trust you. You had the patience needed to give the dog a chance to figure out what to do even at 2 all the way up to 6yrs and from testimony on the stand even now. You were never mean or cruel. <br />
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Sheena was your first dog. Even when you were removed and we had visits Sheena was one of the first things you asked about on the phone. You always begged me to bring her to pick you up or drop you off. You would beg to let her come back to your grandparents with you. I knew it was so you would feel safe and protected. You knew they could not hurt you if Sheena was there. During visits she was the first one you hugged when you ran to the door and she always whined and cried as soon as she saw you. Her whole body shivering with excitement. You were her little boy. When you hear the term "A Boy and His Dog." you and Sheena were the perfect example of that. She was 10 months older then you when you were born. We can still to this day ask her "Where is Dedders?(your nick name) and she will search the house and look outside whining for you. <br />
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When she had puppies she let you around them within days. She trusted you completely. Every morning you would wake up and run to her whelping box to check on the pups. You loved to sit on the floor and play with them no matter where they were. Sheena would lay near you or on a piece of furniture watching you and the puppies totally relaxed. You never hurt them. You were never rough. You would giggle most of the day with them.<br />
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She is 11 now. She will be turning 12 this December. With this trial over we know there is no chance for you to ever say good-bye to your dog. No one has taken any of that into consideration. And I know you are holding your memories of her, your sister and me close to your heart where no one can hurt them or take them. I know like your sister did at that same age that you are telling people what they want to hear instead of what you truly feel. Because every time you begged for me, every time you begged for your sister and every time you begged for your dog they were all ripped from you. You learned to not let those feelings known so as to not lose anyone else. Your sister did the same and it is actually quite normal after all that has been done to you. All you heard was lies when you would ask about any of us and then lose us. I know our memories are still in your head though. As testified at the trial you are still asking to come home to us. No matter what people want to assume you remember about us(or are hoping you are) we all know it is not the case at all. We understand. We love you no matter what and we know some day when you can, like you sister did, you will seek us out.<br />
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At the trial your worker testified that the couple you are with does not like me posting your birthday posts, or any posts to you or your brother. They tried to make it out to be something sick, something wrong. They want me to see a piece of paper as their ownership of you. But I know they can't own your heart and what makes you you. I will never recognize a piece of paper as me no longer being your mom. I don't care if you find me now or 20yrs from now. I will always be your mom. Your first and only mom. I have been cleared of ever abusing you. Cleared. Which means I never did. People lied about that and continue to lie to you about that. I have also been deemed fit and proved I have been fit all along. So when you have been told over and over again that I could not care for you or your brother someday you will learn it was all lies so they could legally kidnap you and give you to someone else. Adoption is not suppose to be stealing children from loving parents who never hurt their children and could care for their children. Which is what was done to you and your brother.<br />
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Know when you read this that you are loved by me and our entire family. You and your brother always are talked about, always are made a part of special occasions and your special days are always celebrated. We will never stop posting on your special days. Never. Or any other time we feel the need to put our thoughts down in writing about you two so we never forget and so you can read it later. Your sister said reading her birthday entries and all the posts about how we never stopped fighting for all of you really helped her to see how much she is loved and to rebuild her confidence in herself. I hope the same will be for you and your brother. <br />
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No matter where you are sweetheart know you are my son. Know you are my heart. I wish I could give you the opportunity to say goodbye to Sheena before she passes. I don't know how many years she has left. Every puppy from the litter she was born in has passed. The last one over a year ago. But I also know after testimony of how the couple you are with perceives me and your sister from lies, that you will never be allowed willingly to contact us. They lied to your sisters face and continue to lie to yours and your brothers. But those lies won't hold for long and I am patient. I had to fight for 7yrs to clear my name. And I have no problem waiting for you and your brother to find me and learn the truth. The truth has a way of always coming to light.<br />
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Your home is here and we are waiting for you and loving you. Have a great b-day son. You are loved beyond words.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=67f56b310ea339ba">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-37809797240946123532015-10-10T22:53:00.001-07:002015-10-10T22:53:19.673-07:00Final Statement I Gave From The PGO Review TrialNow that things have settled down from the trial I think it is time to share my final statement I gave for trial. It is long and it is vetted. So a bit might be confusing. But I think it is very important for you all to read to help put all the final pieces together. This can be read in the transcripts of the trial as well if anyone chooses to access those.<br />
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So here we go:<br />
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<span lang="EN">"As everyone knows I used the new legislation that came into effect January of 2014. Since it came out only one other case to my knowledge went to trial. That case was so different from my own that even I agree that the judge made the right decision to not send the child back home. The mother had not had any contact for several years with 0 attempt at contact and 0 attempt to show she was fit. Yet I have shown my repeated requests over many years and many workers to be re-evaluated and contact be re-instated between myself, my daughter and her brothers. She had known drug and alcohol problems, I do not and never have been an addict. She was homeless where as I have had a steady home with enough rooms for all my children for at least 2yrs prior to the PGO being granted. She had no siblings in her care that her child had grown up with and that had had regular contact. I do. She made no attempt to bring in any community supports to show that she was fit, I have and have had those supports in place for well over 3yrs. She never made her home accessible to mandated reporters to be able to prove her home clean, the environment safe. I have gone above and beyond to do such. She did not have another child born into her care to prove her fitness when no other avenue to prove her fitness was available. I did. I didn’t just prove my fitness with my youngest, I was able to prove my fitness so well that my daughter, who had had no contact with me for over 3yrs prior is now back in my home and the PGO rescinded. And I again proved my fitness so well that a 26yr veteran in the children services work has<strong> (vetted as it talks about our current special journey that I prefer to keep private)</strong> <br />
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
She could not prove point A - Which is her willingness, fitness and ability. With the countless professionals, who all are either funded by Child and Family Services, contracted with them or work for them directly, I think I have shown beyond a reasonable doubt that I am fit and have been for a good long while, since prior to my children being matched with their currant home and prior to the PGO being granted. The department and the children’s lawyer has already conceded my willingness but the social workers involved in my sons trial also have clearly shown that I requested for years, with multiple workers to please re-evaluate me and allow contact between my children to be reinstated. As well I have show through all the professionals we have worked with for the past 3+ years that we are fit, our home is suitable, our home is safe. Their own parental assessor that they hired to assess me passed me on every level other then the attachment. I can not think of any parent who has done more then I to prove point A for a long period of time.</div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
The second part was what is in the best interest of the child. Since she could not in any way prove point A, point B became invalid. It is pointless to go further if point A can’t be established. So lets look at point B. What is in the best interest of my sons. With all the people who have testified, starting with my childrens original social worker, the main social worker for my children, all my children at that time. He clearly stated on the stand that what they thought was happening in that home and what was actually happening in that home were two drastically different things. For years my daughter was blamed for the problems in that home. I, countless times and the records show this, begged the department to investigate what was happening but because of my mental illness they would not even consider that I was reporting the truth. All they saw was what that couple told them to see. That I was mentally ill to the point of not being able to parent, that I was an addict(yet no history anywhere of addiction), that I was making false complaints. Time and again my visits were cut with no notice or warning or reason yet I would be blamed. As was easily shown with my last visit occurring on Oct 29, 2010 and the court date being Nov 4, 2010. Till then I had weekly unsupervised visits in our home. Their rooms were already set up months prior when we first moved there. Why would they suddenly say that visits were cut because of décor? It does not make any sense at all. Even the social worker we work with here testified to even be considered for overnights that a bed and space for the child to call there own is required. So why would social workers here say it was deemed appropriate with no concerns but my sons social workers are stating, with no evidence to back it up, that the visits were cut and unsupervised was removed because of decorating my sons own space in our home? Why is one ok and the other seen as a just cause to remove a mothers access? </div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
Along with that was the fact that I, a sufferer of PTSD from the extreme abuse I was raised in, by the same woman caring for my sons, would be required to be around my abuser. A huge trigger that even my daughters worker testified was toxic for me. Why would Children and Family Services, with no safety concerns noted, no court order from a judge stating to do so not only remove unsupervised access to my children but reduce it and require me to be around my abuser when they knew I suffered from PTSD because of what she did to me? Why was the only choice I was given had to be risking my mental health(which would have destroyed my ability to be fit, willing and able) or my children? Is that justice to make a mother choose between one or the other when both would lead to her losing her children? What choice is that? You heard from 3 social workers, My childrens first worker, my childrens second worker and my sons current worker. All stated that they would never consider me for re-evaluation. My question is why? Why was my standard of proof to prove I was fit out of reach? Is that what this act is all about? </div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
I read that if the child had not been adopted yet that this legislation can be used as it is to help give every opportunity for the biological parent and child to keep that family unit. It doesn’t say if a match is made then this can’t be used. It doesn’t say if they have been placed in a home it can’t be used. It clearly states if no adoption has occurred yet. Even with my daughters last worker clearly stating in her emails to my sons current worker that she was going to try and delay me we still filed before the adoption paperwork was filed. Even with both my daughters worker and my sons worker knowing that the act was coming into effect and even discussing the possibility of me applying for it if I learned about it, I still got it in before it was final. It took an ethical social worker, who had no part in this issue to tell us our rights. Why is that? Why was the workers, many workers, who were supposed to be looking out for the best interest of my children not stepping forward with this info? Why did they think it was still in the best interest of my family, all three siblings to add more attachment breaks deemed better? That does not show me that my childrens best interest was being met. That shows me that they were doing everything they can to ensure an adoption took place and they didn’t care how many attachments they broke to do it. They didn’t care about what was in my daughters best interest when they cut contact between her and her brothers. Who stands up for her? Not her social worker. Her social worker couldn’t even tell her that she was the one that made the decision to cut contact based on a what if. Yet workers then decided it is ok to falsify records and state that it was because she was coaching her brothers. Yet it is clearly shown that the decision was made because of a what if and not because of something actually happening. How is that in my daughters or her brothers best interest? How am I to tell her to trust in Children and Family Services or the courts if these glaring issues continue to be ignored and she is made to continue in her pain in missing her brothers with having done nothing wrong?</div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
What is even worse is how is a worker suppose to determine what is in the best interest of the child when they don’t even go through the file, not even when evidence is brought to their attention that things were not done properly. My childrens first worker admitted that within a few short months of my contact with my children being cut, and my mother being consider as a permanent placement, which is why they lied so much about me, that she then stopped working with the social workers, youth mentors and other community supports. Then he testified to what was clearly happening in that home. Not punitive punishments as so many court reports, assessments and so on state. ABUSE. There is a huge difference. A child does not walk away from a home at 3yrs old covered in multiple fading bruises from punitive punishments. That is abuse. A 3yr old child does not walk away from a home with deep tissue truama that is still very much there and not healed a full year later from punitive punishments. That is abuse. They were possible cigarette burns. THAT IS ABUSE. Making a 12yr old wear diapers to school is not punitive punishments. That is abuse. Making a child sit on a floor unless they are doing chores, eat from the floor while the family eats together, not allowed to be alone in the bathroom or shower alone over weeks at a time is not punitive punishments. THAT IS ABUSE. Why are these workers minimizing what was done to my children? What are they trying to hide? The truth? That they greatly misjudged me and what was truly happening all because I had a mental illness and had been the victim of domestic violence? If I did not seek so diligently to get help and to learn I could understand but they knew I had worked hard to show that I was fit, able and willing yet ignored it and worked hard to keep my children with their abuser. How is that justice for my family and how is that in the best interest of my 3 children at the time?</div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
Yet upon removal of my children from my mothers home for exactly what I had been stating for years was happening did the worker call me? It was only 6 months after the PGO was granted. No permancy plan was in place at the time. So why was my sister considered but 0 attempt to re-evaluate me was offered? Why was the abusive grandparent allowed and considered for accuses, with clear evidence to all the abuse, yet I was not? I had not moved. We had choosen to stay in our home, as I testified, so that if we could some how prove we were fit that my sons would come home to a place that was familiar. So the department knew how to contact me. My number had not changed and they had my email. So why no contact to me? How is that working towards trying to keep a family together? In the Child Youth and Family Enhancement Act it clearly states that all attempts should be made to try and keep the contact between the child and the domestic violence victim parent together. Other then being prejudged based on my mothers lies and my mental illness no attempt was made prior or after the PGO to keep my children or my family together. This sickens me. Mentally ill does not mean unfit. Being blind does not mean you are unfit. Being in a wheel chair does not mean you are unfit. So why is it ok to prejudge someone based on a mental illness and require them to have to go above and beyond to prove they are fit? </div>
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Moving forward in comes my childrens second social worker. My childrens next worker. She attested on the stand to not looking through the files at all other then to look for diagnoses. So why was she the one that wrote the adoption history for my children when she clearly stated she never even reviewed their file? Does that make any sense to anyone because it did not make any sense to me. Then she testifies on the stand that she was aware of the doctors report following the removal of my children from my mother. In fact the second one in May of 2012 she had requested the doctor to fill out. So why in the history of the adopted child does she clearly state that both the 2011 report and the 2012 report from the doctor had no concerns listed? How can she say and records show that she was aware of both reports BUT then go on to state that no concerns were noted. Yet the reports clearly list the major medical concerns and condition of my son upon removal from my mother and even a year later. If that is not clearly showing falsifying facts, facts that are being presented in provincial court as accurate and factual, then it shows a blatant disregard for making sure that the evidence in the files matches for court of law. Is it not concerning to anyone that so many documents show multiple issues with facts either altered, omitted or made completely up? Is that not some how a crime? especially since Child and Family Services are suppose to deal with facts and present facts to a court so the court can determine the fate of a child and family. If so many large glaring discrepancies were presented in a criminal case would it be ignored? I would hope not.</div>
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<div align="JUSTIFY">
She also went on to state that it was not her job to get my sons therapy. Or my daughter for that matter. She was their case worker. She was suppose to decided what was in my childrens best interest. My sons were showing huge trauma based issues the entire time in foster care. I don’t have professional training for working with children and when I read the foster parents notes I could clearly see that they needed intense therapy. How was that in my children’s best interest to not receive any therapy? She then went on to testify that she had no obligation to re-evaluate me for my sons. None. She was an adoption worker and her job based on what she stated was to adopt my children out. So if that is the case then what is the point of this new legislation? Why does it not then state if the file is moved to a permanency worker then all consideration for re-evaluation is ended? Because it is meant to give the biological parents every opportunity to get their children back because the importance of the family unit is suppose to be paramount if there is no safety concerns. She also continued to state that I did contact her as soon as my daughter had contacted us. One month after a match was made yet no meeting with my sons and the couple they were with was set up yet. Where was her obligation to consider all placements that would allow the children, 3 children not two, to stay together? Is there none? How is that in the best interest of the child? At that time I already had my third son, home was approved fit, had a community support worker in my home and Children and Family Services in my community showing no concerns. If she had re-evaluated me at that stage would we even be here today? </div>
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She goes on to state that yes she and the couple did state to my daughter face to face, My daughter was 14 at the time, that contact would never be cut. NEVER. And that is why she stated she choose the family. Because they had stated they would never cut contact. What did that do to my daughter? What did that promise say to my sons? Everyone is talking about the importance of attachments and the damage that can be caused if those attachments are broken. Yet no one stated that when I was given no options and contact was cut. Even though my oldest son had begged me prior to the PGO to never stop trying to bring him home. No one stated any of this when they decided to cut contact between my children. Why is it only now considered important? Why is the importance of attachment ONLY important when it means moving the child out of a possible adoptive home but not considered when cutting out mothers when there are no safety concerns or a sister from her brothers based on a what if? Is that looking out for the childs best interest? Or is that looking out for only the adopting homes best interest?</div>
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She then continues to state that I got my first visit in April with my daughter. Does anyone find it interesting that witnin 2 visits with my daughter and myself that my daughter was not being allowed to contact her brothers? Is this only a coincidence? Yet she at no point in her testimony admitted any knowledge of contact being cut or there being any concerns of my daughter supposedly coaching my sons. So many things already about the files and the case are just not matching up and I know I can’t be the only one seeing it. From there she states that visits with my daughter continued into the summer where my sons file moved to the city the adopting family is in and my daughters file to her final worker.</div>
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When my daughters last worker got on the stand she testified that she and her supervisor went through the entire file and in doing so decided to continue the reunification of my daughter and myself with the plan of my daughter moving home and the possibility of the PGO being rescinded. She also went on to state that she never saw any concerns that would have stopped her from continuing on this journey. She then states that it was a joint decision in December/January of 2013/2014 between herself and my sons current worker to cut contact because of my daughter giving negative messages to her brothers. Ok so now I am confused again. Many reports clearly show that contact was cut in spring/summer of 2013. Then a report written by my sons current worker of a phone call that my daughters last worker and she had on Dec 20, 2013 shows my daughters last worker clearly stating that she was the sole person to choose to cut the contact because she thought I was coaching my daughter and that the possibility that my daughter might in turn coach the boys might happen. First why is it when ever I have disclosed something or a concern to a social worker is it then automatically seen as coaching? Why when I disclose what my daughter tells me happened to her and I in turn tell the social worker is that not taken seriously and checked into? Why if my mother stated it was it deemed automatically true or if a foster home stated it it would be deemed true or if a social worker stated it then it is true but because I stated it then it must be coaching? That confuses me. Anyway she then goes on to state that the second reason she made the decision was because she thought the foster home my daughter was in was being too open with me. Ok so which is it? Did my daughter do it or not? If it is in a court document should it not be checked to be factual first? Why would workers feel the need to make up reasons as to why sibling access was cut? Yet she denies any knowledge of the phone call on that date. How can that be?</div>
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In that same report it comes out that she stated that at first they were blaming me for the abuse my children were enduring but that they are no longer doing that. So a worker who went through the entire file, the first to do so, is stating that I am no longer being looked at as the abuser of my children. Is this not huge? Should I not have been re-evaluated as soon as they changed their minds on that? She also says she had a discussion with my childrens first worker about the PGO. Stating that he, previous worker is now saying he thinks they did wrong by this family by seeking a PGO. Again if this was the case why did no one contact him to confirm? If this is the case why was I not being re-evaluated? If mistakes are made ok, people are human, but it is not ok if no one does anything to repair those mistakes and allows a family and multiple children to continue to suffer the loss of each other. At the end of the report she finishes it with “the assessor who was initially involved with this family and then apprehension, reportedly is now stating they made the wrong decision and if they could go back they wouldn’t make the same decision to permanently remove the kids.” AGAIN WHY DID NO ONE CONTACT THE SUPERVISOR WHO OVER SAW THE REMOVAL AND PGO OF MY CHILDREN TO CONFIRM THIS? Should that not be deemed important if the main workers involved in getting the PGO now in hindsight, and the abuse that was really occurring in my mothers home, has made them realize a huge mistake was made. Is there no obligation for the department if they make such huge mistakes to do all they can to repair it and re-evaluate the children and the parents home? What does ignoring these concerns tell families and the public about how Children and Family Services works to keep families together?</div>
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She then continues testify that no concerns arose, that I did contact her in May of 2014 for the forms for the new legislation yet no mention at all that she contacted my sons current worker to let her know right after what I was doing. No mention of her statements to attempt to delay me. Is that what a caseworker is suppose to do to show the best interest of a child? Try and delay a parent who is fit and who has been begging worker after worker to re-evaluate her and reunit her family? Is that what the Child, Youth and Family Enhancement Act states for them to do? Yet she stated there is no obligation for her to inform me of the new legislation. Which I found confusing as well since the Worker here who is a 26yr vetran who we are working with currently had stated in his testimony that he was told it is their obligation to inform birth parents to give them the opportunity to try and keep their family together. So which one is right? Even if there is no law, I then put the question to the court which one is ethical? Why was so much effort and help given to my mother and the adopting family to keep my children with them but little to none offered to me and my children to help us stay together? </div>
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She then continue to testify that my daughter did move home in June of 2014 and the PGO was rescinded in Dec of 2014 and that it was agreed to be rescinded as no concerns were noted. During this entire time up to June of 2014, so 3 yrs from removal from my mothers home, through countless social workers, my sons did not get any counseling for the trauma and abuse that they had endured. 18 months of which was with this couple. How is that in the best interest of my sons? Why did it take so long? Each child expert did agree that making a child wait for therapy for 3+ years was concerning and they should have been in child lead play therapy from the beginning as the longer it takes for it to start the higher the risk of long term issues. During those 3+ who was looking out for any of my childrens best interests? No therapy, contact cut from a healthy and fit parent with no safety concerns to do so, forced to continue to reside in a home that was abusing them for at least another 6 months following the PGO, contact then cut with a sibling and no explanation to any child of what they did wrong or why contact was cut, no chance even offered to say good-bye. At the time of initial disclosure it was June 26, 2014. My childrens best interest were not being met at that time. And had not been met since they started being abused in my mothers home and no worker would even consider investigating any concerns I brought to their attention about it. And now from June 2014- Sept 2015 I am just suppose to trust that what I am being told is true? And now I am suppose to trust that my sons are getting they needs met when it comes to therapy and so on? The need of contact with their sibling is still not being corrected and no explanation or so on given to any of the children. They are just suppose to continue to accept this loss of each other. Could you remove one of your children from the other siblings, give no explanation and expect them to forget that other sibling even existed? Could you do it based on a what if? Is that attachment not important as well? Why is the only attachment deemed important the one from my sons to the couple? Why is that the only consideration the case workers have taken? These are not puppies from a litter to give away. These are children. A sibling group of 3. Continuing the separation of all 3 is not in the best interest of any child. </div>
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Lets move on to my next witness. My first community support worker. She testified that when I got in contact and applied to them the reasons I did so included my worry about my baby taken upon birth because of the previous PGO on my other 3. Should a mother be scared of Child and Family Services? Should they not see them as a support instead of something to be scared of? But she also testified that we wanted a mandated reporter in the home to prove we were fit to be able to get my sons home. Further showing that Having our youngest was because we wanted to prove our fitness. At the time of signing up with them I had no idea my children were not in my mothers care. I had no idea they were in foster care, no permancy plan in place though. Yet I was diligently working on my end to prove my fitness in a way that would not risk my mental health. She also went on to testify to how I was to really work with, how my home really was, what my parenting knowledge really was as she stated I even helped change the baby curriculum for their program with the information I brought to them and that I continue throughout the time we worked together to provide them with parenting stratagies that they even asked me for to pass on to other families they worked with. She also testified to our willingness to do anything she suggested or ask even if we were terrified of the possible outcome of losing my new son by going to the Children and Family Services in our community to let them know about the pregnancy. She also attested to why we waited to contact my childrens worker about re-evaluation till after my youngest had his first 2 week check up at the Children’s hospital for his cleft. She attested to how and when I found out about the removal of my children from my mothers home and how it was through a concern community member, not a worker from Children and Family Services. Why did it take almost a year and a half and a concerned community member to come and tell me. How is that looking out for my children’s best interest? Especially when my home was big enough and safe enough for all 3 of my children? Why was it preferred to split them up? She continued to testify to all the discussions we had weekly about my sons and what the community offered for supports for their needs and that these were ongoing discussions for the entire 2yrs she was our worker. She testified to the knowledge of all the social workers I have repeatedly contacted begging to be re-evaluated. And that at no time in the entire two years we worked with her did she ever feel there was a concern about our home or our parenting. She attested to the meeting with the Children and Family Services worker we are working with here and my very physical reaction to finding out the news of new legislation. Along with testifying to how quickly I filed. How many parents with no legal help work so diligently and for so long to prove their fitness, to fight to keep a promise to their children(My oldest son and my daughter both asked me to not stop, my daughter after getting back in contact with me). I was told by so many to just give up. But is that the message that Children and Family Services wants to send to parents? To just give up after a PGO is granted? If that is the case why the new legislation?</div>
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Then next comes my daughter. She was a victim and survivor of the abuse of my mother over a long period of time. But did she appear to be a child with no self confidence? When she came to our home, after being in the foster placement for 4yrs(2 1/2yrs of which there was no contact with me) she had no self confidence, as she testified. She was scared of going to school. Scared to leave the house. Scared to get involved. Now? A year after being returned home did she appear to be any of those things? I don’t think so. My daughter is a fashion leader in her school now, she has several friends, loves her part time job, loves going to school and wants to be a writter and help other children who have been abused to find their voice. This is a child who had no contact with me for several years. A child that had been in a long term placement and had had emotional issues and other problems while in that home. Yet upon coming home in a slow transition, with the right supports in place she has totally changed and is a confident young lady who has realistic goals for her future. Does that not indicate that children can successfully transition home, after a long term placement and no contact? She also testified to missing her brothers. She is part of this whole equation whether the department wants to recognize it or not. Her feelings and needs are equally as important as my sons. And she needs her brothers in her life. She was so concerned about losing them from her life that she asked her second social worker to promise her and the couple who has my sons to promise her contact would not be cut but that is exactly what was done within months of placement. Why was her best interests not being considered? Why is the attachment of these siblings not seen as important in any way?</div>
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Next came my current community support worker also testifying to how she has observed us parenting, how ready our home is, our consistent conversations about how to best help my sons upon them returning home. She also attested to(<strong>Vetted out as it speaks to our current journey)</strong> She also attested to how we are always asking for advice from those we work with to continue to learn. And she attested to how we really are to work with.</div>
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The next day was the two people who have supervised our parenting all summer, who Children and Family Services here contracts to supervise families and report and concerns. who both attested to observing us all summer long and that no concerns ever arose. <strong>(Vetted our as it speaks to our current journey)</strong> My sons current worker has never been in our home yet the Children and Family Services worker here who we are working with testified that he knows he is welcome in our home any time and has been here multiple times and witnessed us parenting with no concerns. So I will quote from another judge. You can’t have it both ways. Either she is fit, able and willing or she isn’t. Children Services here says we are. So why have so many others not considered us at all for re-evaluation?</div>
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The next witness was one of our friends. He attested to us not ever giving up in the entire time he has known us in our fight to bring my sons home. He also attested to how involved we are in our community. How we helped 20 families last year for thanksgiving with hampers of food. How at Christmas I organized several people in making food and gift hampers for 50 families. This is with PTSD and Agoraphobia. And how I encourage my daughter to be a part of it.<br />
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Then came the Children and Family Services worker who we are working with here. A 26yr vetran of working in the Children’s Services area. He testified to no concerns of our home and parenting, how we really are to work with, how open we are, how we are always asking questions and always asking how to do things better. He testified to what he was told about the obligation to tell parents about the childrens first act. He also testified that it was part of his job as a permany worker to go through the file to find out what was in the best interest of the child. He testified to getting our criminal records checks and that both of us were clear for the vunerable sectors search. He testified how he saw how things were going and also that for children to have over night visits that providing a bed and personal space is one of the required needs. </div>
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Next was the first witness for the department. The lady who did our parental assessment. In the paperwork she passed me in every area for having the ability to parent. Except for the attachment part. Her job was to evaluate me for my abilities to parent and not on the attachment of my sons to me or me to my sons. Yet in her testimony it came across to me that all she wanted to do was focus on the attachment. If the attachment part is the the only issue to consider in all of this then why does it not say in the Childrens First Act that part B is only to focus on the attachment of the child to the current caregivers? It doesn’t. It says to look at the best interest of the child and attachment is only one part of that equation as testified by my sons assessor and my sons current therapist this week. It is important but it is not the only point to consider in the over all best interest of the child. Regardless though the parenting assessment shows I can parent. I met all the criteria to be able to parent, my home is big enough, we can financially do it, their medical needs would be met, we have the community supports in place and ready.</div>
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Then it was me. I am not going to go over all that I testified too as I think it was covered quite well by all my previous witnesses and myself. But after all I did, all the proffessionals I brought in have I not met point A? Have I not shown that I have been preparing from prior to the PGO being granted to also meet the best interests of my sons upon the possibility of them moving home? If your children were kept from you and a PGO was granted on what you knew was misinformation and false facts would you just give up on your three children your honor? Or if you only had my education and funds would you continue to find a way, that would not risk your mental health, to bring them home? To keep that promise to your then 6yr old son and your now 16yr old daughter? Is there a time limit on how long you would fight to repair your family? Especially if you had never stopped trying to show you were fit?</div>
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After that was my landlord. He attested to giving us permission to build the extra room in our home and how we are as tenants and how we have kept the home over the 5+yrs we have rented it. And how we picked that home for location to schools and the size to fit everyone. Then my longest friend (over 20yrs) testified to how it was while I was a victim of domestic violence but how I still made sure my home was clean, my kids fed and clothed and parented. He also testified to as soon as I cut out my abusive ex, was off the meds that had affected me so badly that was being prescribed by a doctor, that I turned my whole life around. That he has been in our home many times and how it appears, how happy the children are and how I have helped those in my community. And that my only desire from the entire time he has known me was to be a wife and a mother.</div>
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Next came my sons current worker. She testified that it was not her job to go through the entire file to check for facts even when my daughters last worker contacted her and stated to her that I am no longer being looked at as the one who abused my children. That they didn’t see my real motivation to cutting our my mother from my life, that there was a lot of miscommunication and misinformation when if came to what was really happening in my mothers home and the behaviors my children were showing during that time. So let me get this straight. Workers can admit to huge mistakes in judgments of a parent that led to a PGO but no worker after a PGO is granted is required to correct those mistakes in judgments by reuniting the family? So we all suffer because a worker didn’t do his due diligence for the rest of our lives? How is that in anyones best interest. My son thinks I could not take care of him and that he does not see me because I fought too much with his dad. How is that ok for him to think when that is not the case at all. I was off the meds for a year and a half prior to the PGO being granted. We had a fit home that entire time and still do. We had access to all the community supports we are now using at that time as well. The records, testimonies and so on are showing there are huge discrepancies. Glaring things left out, alter or just made up in documents used for court and all of this is ok? If I brought forward the whole file I can assure you that this is only the tip of the iceberg but I was told I was only allowed to address things from the PGO being granted to now.</div>
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She also testified that I did ask her repeatedly to re-evaluate me, to re-establish contact between my sons and their sister but that she would never consider me. Why would no worker consider re-evaluating me? I was no addict, I wasn’t a criminal, I wasn’t an abuser. All they had was that I have a mental illness. Does a mental illness make a parent unfit automatically? Have I appeared at any time in this court room as someone so mentally ill as to be unable to parent? She testified to her emails and records as being correct but no memory to most of them. Yet these show the behaviors of my son had no gone away and were very much present. It was shown that my son had made multiple requests to be returned to me yet no one told the therapist and no one told my sons assessor. Why was this desire not brought to their attention? It was shown that even when she was given information to show glaring issues in the records and files that she in no way attempted to verify if they could possibly be correct and if they were to even attempt to reunit my family. </div>
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Next came the childrens therapist and I must say I really like her. She attested to how my children are doing in therapy, how she conducts therapy and so on. She attested to the bond she was seeing between my sons and their caregivers but she also attested to the fact that nothing is 100% assured and she could not say that she knew 100% for sure that returning my sons to my care with a slow transition and the right supports in place would cause them irreparable harm. She said that there is a likely chance but when in all of this has my children or myself shown that we fall within a box of expectations. So many had expectations of what would happen if my daughter returned and that was wrong. So many had expectations’ that I could not parent at all. That was shown wrong as well. We keep showing people that when given the chance and the right supports that we can blow those expectations out of the water and really surprise people. Not everyone fits in a box. One thing I do know from her testimony is that if my children are returned to me I want her to recommend a therapist closer to our area and that I would enjoy working with her. </div>
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Next was my sons assessor. He spoke of the attachment that is there an developing. He spoke of how important that is and his concerns if that is suddenly cut. Yet he also stated it is like a crystal ball in predicting what could happened. He could not guarantee that with a slow transition, proper therapy and community supports that my children would suffer irreparable harm. He also stated RAD can be over come. He also stated that he found it very concerning how much information was completely omitted, changed or so on. Very concerning he stated as I listed off the biggest issues that had gotten on the record. He also stated no one mention my sons desire to move home and that he could not answer the question of the attachment of my sons to me as he has never met me or observed us together. But he also stated clearly that attachment is just one piece of the puzzle that the judge has to look at in determining this whole situation. Just one piece.<br />
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So if the only piece the department has is the attachment and no one can speak of the attachment that might be there from my sons to myself, yet I have passed in every other area, proven through professionals over several years of how fit I am and how much I have prepared, show over and over again to beg for re-evaluation, proven that workers were not doing their due diligence in going through the file to check info and yet writing court documents as facts, provided to professionals who were determining things for this trial as not getting accurate information and so on. Does that not clearly show that best interest over time of my sons was not being met I was doing all I could to meet them if just one person would consider me for re-evaluation? </div>
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Have I not proven point B in several ways? I can admit I do not have the knowledge or know how of the lawyers here. Yet I did find one case that was similar to my own out of BC. In this case that was before the Supreme Court of BC J.P was able to show that the department of family Services prejudge her and that the department didn’t do their due diligence in investigating her claims that her ex husband was abusing the children( which is what was happening with my mother abusing my children while in her care). The director viewed the ongoing complaints by the mother to be malicious and part of her mental illness and stated that was a sign of her mental illness and inability to parent the children. The director then led that Deputy Director to believe that JP was suffering from mental illness or distress so significant that she was a risk to herself or her children.(which is that happened with me. There was no way I could prove I was fit. Nothing I could have said or done that would be believed.)</div>
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An apprehension order was then granted on inaccurate and misleading factual information(In my case it was the PGO). The report was prepared in a manner that was inconsistent with the directors legal obligation to make full and frank disclosure, and it denied the plaintiffs procedural fairness and fundamental justice.(Have I not shown over and over again the misinformation, omitting of facts and so on in many documents and some even for court that would mislead the court to believe one thing over the actual truth? </div>
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A Mr. S knew of those errors. His subordinates involved in drafting of the report to the court also knew of some of them and ought to have know of the others. They failed to ensure the truth of the information provided to the provincial court. (Have I not also show this same thing over and over again, even in reports sent to the people making assessments about me and my children).<br />
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By February of 2010, nearly all the social workers involved with the case had determined that the children should be returned to the care of their father(in my case they wanted the children to reside with my mother and this is evident throughout the file) and they actively supported B’G’s claim for sole custody. As they did for my mother.</div>
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The children had several placements. From one aunt, to then an uncles and then a foster placement for 2yrs. At the first trial in May 2012 it was shown the director stated there was no merit to the abuse allegations made my JP and that sole custody should be given to the father. That JP was too mentally ill to parent. But during the trial it came out that JP’s allegations were correct and the director changed her direction and stated the children should be returned to her care. Even though the trial was still on going a reunification plan was written up so the children could reunit in a healthy way. JP was able to show during the first trial about the prejudice and the facts that the director was not doing their due diligence. I was not so lucky during my PGO.</div>
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But here I have clearly shown that to be the case. Workers have out right stated there was nothing I could have said or done to have them consider me for my sons. I have shown that facts were being altered, investigations not being done at all, my children required to suffer in silence all because of people prejudging me on my mental illness and being a victim of domestic violent(JP also suffered from domestic violence from her partner as well). That facts were being completely omitted. I have shown that for many years my sons best interests were not being met. Now we are here. Now the question is, in light of everything, not just the attachment(and even their witnesses had to state there could still be attachment there from my sons to me) have I not clearly shown point A and point B? Are we not that rare case that has shown that a return of my children, which is what this legislation is for, is the only outcome that would be in the best interest of all 3 children and my family. </div>
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In all of this, and sorry it was so long, I think it is clear that the only decision that is in everyones best interest is the rescinding of the PGO, getting a clear slow transition plan in place, setting up the therapies for my family and children and arranging the community supports needed to give them all the support they need to be reunited with their family. " </div>
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THat is it. Hopefully it answers some questions and helps to put many of the pieces together. </div>
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=51200e248e27856">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a></div>
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</span>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-9407574235343870962015-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:002015-10-02T10:54:00.752-07:00Society Needs To Stop Blaming The Victim Of AbuseI am not one that usually will share other peoples sites or blogs much. But this specific one really hit home for me. And I urge anyone who has been raised by an abusive parent or been in an abusive relationship of any sort to read this. I also urge anyone who knows someone suffering from any kind of abuse to read this as well. It will be a huge eye opener to many:<br />
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<a href="https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/what-happens-when-targets-arent-believed/">What Happens When Targets Aren't Believed</a><br />
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For those who have read my blog in it's entirety or who know me personally can understand why this post hit home so strongly for me. For those who are reading this post as their first post into my blog when you go to the map of the blog page and read from the bottom down you will see that 99% of everyone I tried to turn to believed my mother(monster is better). Whether it was me turning to someone to help stop the abuse being done to me since I was a toddler or me reporting the abuse the step children were enduring by her hands or me reporting the abuse being done to my own children by her. No one wanted to listen. Everyone blamed me, blamed my mental illness. Turned their backs on me, shunned me and so on. When I was a child she convinced people I was schizophrenic(never have been) to excuse away the reports of abuse I was telling people. So people sympathized with her and believed her.<br />
<br />When it came to me reporting what was happening to my church leaders or to other agencies she would convince them I was mentally ill and was a rebellious teen lashing out because she took away privileges. When it came to my children she convinced everyone that I was abusing my children by telling the workers some of the milder things she was actually doing to my children but replacing my name with her own. She even tried convinced people I was schizophrenic again. Again people turned on me, shunned me and so on while she was given support and sympathy. She did this to my daughter as well.<br />
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She tore my sons from myself and their sister and didn't bat an eye. I had literally no support the majority of the time. Just about all my friends turned on me believing I was at fault. She had studied to be a paralegal so knew how to work the system well but she could not continue to play her games once contact was cut. And as those who have read my blog know after only a couple of months of no contact she turned on all the people she had convince that I was the bad person, the abuser, the addict, the person so mentally ill as to be a danger to herself. With no access to her main source/target she had no choice but to turn on others and that is what led to the truth coming out finally. Still it took another 4yrs and myself not giving up in seeking to have the truth out and getting cleared of all her false allegations for the truth about me to come out. But thanks to this monster and her vile, evil ways(who spouts her love of God all the time) my sons are ripped from their loving mothers arms and from their own sister. The pain and suffering she has caused will never end till the day my sons contact me and their sister and we can start healing. That day will come as I know many people who are adopted and they all searched out their bio family.<br />
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Society tells victims of abuse to open up and tell people but that is next to impossible now a days when blaming the victim is now the norm and the actual abuser is treated like they are hero's. In my monsters case she had an entire church convinced and they were supporting her financially, food wise and so on not realizing that the majority of what their congregation were giving to the children, especially my daughter was either being sold for the monsters own gains or thrown out to torture the children even more. She had people praising her for taking in her mentally ill daughters children all the while she was torturing them and permanently scaring them. <br />
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After I saved the step kids, there was no one to save me and no one that believed me. Now that a judge has cleared me of all abuse and cleared me of being a so called addict; as well as deeming me a fit parent I am hoping peoples eyes will finally be opened to the real me. Do I think any of those people who lashed out at me, shunned me, passed on her lies and so on are ever going to apologize now that the truth is out? Not really though it would be nice to hear. But I do hope all those many people will think twice before they do all those things to another person. As victims of abusers need support not condemnation. <br />
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I wasn't believed. No one has thought about what that does to the victim of ongoing abuse from their parent for 34yrs and then also from their first marriage. No one thinks how alone someone like me must have felt for so long, how hopeless, how alone. How many times I cried myself to sleep wondering how society can blame and hate the victim so much and support the abuser. Most victims don't have the strength to keep trying to be heard and to clear their name as I have. Now all I want is for people to now see me. A SURVIVOR and to realize this woman has over come more in their life time, ten times over, then any person should with little to no support for the majority of the journey. Yet still did all she could to help others. I may not be as socially adept as most people are but I am a good, strong woman who hopes my example will help others being abuse to find their voice and their strength.<br />
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PLEASE STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=28b149fe279aa483">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-9834406738226941112015-09-26T06:43:00.001-07:002015-09-26T06:43:07.727-07:00Reasons For The Loss of the PGO Review TrialFirst thank you everyone for your outpouring of support. We have been overwhelmed by how much so many care from around the world. It was a hard day yesterday even though we all prepared for the loss a head of time. Isabeau was understandably very angry and upset. She does not understand how the social workers can be proven to lie on court documents, lie to each other, admit to making grave mistakes that led to the PGO yet because of how the law is written not have to be accountable to those mistakes which lead to permanent separation of all of us and continued abuse to her and her brothers. She is not angry in any way at the judge. We let her know about how he was bound by the legislation and that he gave us so much. He gave a more accurate history on the stand, though he did not have access to my evidence from prior to the PGO to prove someone of it was still lies. But he did state that my ex was the addict and not me. So that got corrected. He did state that my ex was the one who abused my children and not me. So that got corrected as well. And he did take their argument of my suicide attempts off the table because those were caused clearly by the medication I was on that was prescribed by a doctor. <br />
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He also kept her and her little brother safe by outright stating he disagreed with their parental assessor that they hired to assess me who on the stand stated I was fit on all levels but only fit for the 2 children in my current care. He said he out right disagreed with her about my ability to parent more children. Which was very important for our current other journey. So she and her youngest brother is safe and any future children in our home are safe as well. He clearly stated I proved I was fit, able and willing in every way and had proven it over a long period of time. <br />
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Also when he described some of my serious allegations he stated multiple times that he can't address them as he is bound to only look at the part of the act pertaining to this legislation. But that it is something that should be address in another court. He said he would give no judgment or verdict on those but there was indication that there might be some merit.(paraphrasing here). Hence why we will be bringing a Supreme Court Action in the future.<br />
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This judge did literally all he could based on the way he was bound by the legislation. And I think if the legislation had had the safe guards in it that would hold social workers accountable for their mistakes then he would have sent them home. We as a family hold no anger towards this judge in any way. He did all that he could do and it was in fact a lot that will help us with our next steps. <br /><br /> Now here is the problem. The way the legislation is written in our province is that once a PGO is granted there is NO requirement on CPS to relook at the parent at any time for any reason. I am not kidding. The way the law is written is once a PGO is granted the social workers main job is to look for a permanent placement for the children. A parent only has 30 days to appeal a PGO and if you have no money to do so you are out of luck regardless of if you can prove that there was clear bias, records altered, abuse not being investigated and so on. There is nothing in the legislation that if a worker makes grave mistakes that ended up causing a PGO that they have to be accountable. NOTHING. And if other workers realize it later they do not have to legally do anything to correct it. As they are protected by the legalities of the PGO being granted and their requirement to just find a permanent home for the children and not have to consider the parents at all at that point. See the problem?<br /><br /> Hence why I can't stop even though I lost my sons. All other parents have stopped at this point. I could only bring forth evidence in this trial that was after the PGO being granted and that was enough to show the clear omitting of facts on court documents, that was enough to show the falsification of facts in court documents, that was enough to prove the extreme abuse my children endured in that home and so on. The stuff from my children being apprehended in Feb 2008-May 2011 when they were removed from the monsters home is the stuff that really blows this out of the water. It proves the same as above as well as them breaking the legislation. Prior to a PGO all efforts must be made to keep the children with the family of origin. I can clearly show that they did not in any way attempt that. That their goal right from the beginning was to keep the children with my mother. I can clearly show they were prejudice against my mental illness/disability. I can clearly show my children were being abused for well over 2 yrs prior to removal by my mother and they did nothing to investigate any of my complaints about it. Nothing because they only saw my disability. There is a lot more I can show.<br /><br /> To change the legislation to protect other families from having this continue to happen I have to sue CPS in Supreme Court. Which I am already looking into doing. If I win, and a BC case just won this year on less evidence then what I have, then from there I can use that to change the legislation to have safe guards in it to protect families and to make social workers accountable for their mistakes. I may never get my kids back but I still can't sit back and do nothing as this continues to happen to others. Because of how well I proved I am fit and because of this other journey we are on my case currently is the strongest case to have a chance at changing the legislation. As I watch the pain my daughter is in it tells me I can't stand by and ignore what CPS here is doing and can do. They can steal children from families, admit grave mistakes and not have to do anything to fix with the end result being families being torn permanently apart for the sake of someone else being able to adopt and CPS making money that way. It is wrong on all levels. <br />
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It is literally Legal Kidnapping and there is currently nothing in the legislation to stop them from doing it and they all know it.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=d22486618998edc9">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-24476254647132829932015-09-25T10:36:00.000-07:002015-09-25T10:36:05.787-07:00We Won Point A But Could Not Meet Point BSo just got back from the verdict. The judge stated that he disagreed completely with the department on them stating I could not prove that I was capable and able to resume guardianship of my sons. And stated that he clearly sees that I won point A. Which was that I was fit able and willing.<br />
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He also stated that the allegations I brought before the court were serious ones but he was stuck with only being able to look at the 2 parts of the Act that this application was under. He also stated that there is indication that facts might not be accurate and that it was proven that facts given to the people assessing my children were not matching with the evidence. He also indicated that there is some indication that something is not right with the file. But upon saying that he stated that because of the time my children have been in the couples home and that they are having their needs met and that there is an attachment there that he could not move them out of the home. So we lost on point B. Which is what I expected. But with his long discussion about my allegations he clearly stated those are issues for another court or application. Which to me sounded like he was seeing the issues too.<br />
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He also stated that there was clear evidence that my children were seriously abused while in that home of that monster. And stated that he was very impressed, that with no legal experience, that I conducted myself in a very professional and organized manner.<br />
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So our ability to get my sons home is effectively ended. My ability to get justice for my family is not. He also stated that he hoped contact would be re-established between my daughter and her brothers but we all know the chances of them doing that is non-existent. They made that promise to my daughters face and then only a couple of months later did exactly the opposite. Isabeau is very upset. We did clearly show that the circumstances around contact being cut between her and her brothers was lies. So that is big. I do know the couple will have problems in the future if my sons ever learn the truth of how they ended up in that home and all the lies they were told and lead to believe to keep them in that home. The workers and the department will have a lot of questions to answer for this to them I am sure. And I hope when the truth does come out that the couple who has my sons will be equally angry for them for how they were lied to as well and lead to believe so many false things about me, my daughter and all the circumstances.<br />
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So we have lost this application but I can now look in the mirror and say I know I did all I could to get my sons home. And I know if they ever contact me and ask what I did to try and get them home that I can show them with all the evidence and the verdict that I did everything to get them home. There place in this home will never end. They are my children no matter who's roof they are under and what papers say. Someone else may raise them but I gave birth to them, I breast fed them, I know them right from conception to their personalities starting to develop and no one can replace that.<br />
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So now the next step since we clearly shows the crimes the department and their workers committed and continue to commit along with the case that was won in BC this year for the exact same prejudice I will be filing a Human Rights complaint and also going to the Supreme Court. So I hope all those workers and more are ready to get on the stand again because I am only just beginning.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=7225c79f9b7a6d6f">Return To The Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-79851799055912091882015-09-24T14:31:00.000-07:002015-09-24T14:33:15.630-07:00Day 5, 6 and 7 of the PGO Review TrialI do apologize for the silence for so long this week but with all the emotions and stress of this trial, with no legal counsel to help, I needed the down time after court each day to just focus on my family. So here is your update.<br />
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Monday started off with my landlord testifying. He attested to giving us permission to build the extra room in our home and how we are as tenants. Along with how we have kept the home over the past 5+yrs we have been renting it. He attested to us always paying our rent on time, how we have done some big improvements like replacing lino and painting and that we do all minor repairs ourselves. He attested to us picking that home because the schools all the kids would need are within a few minutes walk from the house and how there are many parks, a pool and an ice rink all within a few minutes walk. He attested to overseeing 50-60 rentals and that in his eyes we are one of the best tenants he has ever had. We adore our landlord and see him and his wife as family. He also attested to us informing him right from the first interview about our picking the home for the amount of rooms it has for all the kids.<br />
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Next came my longest friend whom I have known since high school. He attested to how it was while I was a victim of domestic violence. How my ex did all he could to isolate me from even him. He also attested to the fact that even at that time though I always had a clean home, my kids were well kept and I was not abusive to them at all. He also attested to as soon as I cut out my abusive ex and was off the meds that had affected me so badly that were being prescribed by my doctor, that I turned my whole life around. That he has been to our home many times and how it appears, how happy my children are. He also attested to us doing Holiday Helpers last Christmas to help 50 families in our community and that it was him and his company that gave us the secret santa gift of the gift cards at Christmas as he and his partner did not think it was right that we helped so many and would lose our Christmas for it. I had suspected but hearing him say it on the stand made it hard for me to keep back the tears. He also attested to my desire to be a wife and a mother was all I ever wanted to be since the entire time he has known me.<br />
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Next came my sons current worker. She testified that it is was not her job to go through the file to check for facts even if another worker brought it to her attention that facts were now being suspect for being completely wrong about everything. She confirmed the records I got into evidence as being hers and how accurate they are and so on. Wish I could tell you what was in those records as it would blow all your minds what goes on behind the scenes when workers know things and how far they will go to stop any parent from being able to get their children returned so as to keep an adoption going forward. It would shock most of you but I found it sickening and very scary that none of these people had any issue with doing this to families. I do respect her for the fact that she was honest about the emails and records but for her continued support in causing so much pain to my family I have no respect for. She did state she would not consider re-evaluating me and that once a child has a permanency worker it is not there job to consider parents if a PGO was granted no matter what info comes forward. So people if you have all the proof in the world to show that a PGO was granted on false information, omitted facts and on malice it doesn't matter. As far as many workers see it, if the PGO was granted nothing else matters. My question then is why does the legislation say that if no adoption has occurred then the parents can access this legislation to try and get the PGO re-evaluated? Why does it not say if the file is moved to a permanency worker you can't access it?<br />
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Next came the children's therapist and I liked her. She was very open and very nice. She did admit to having no knowledge of very important information, she also acknowledge that there is a chance that there is an attachment there from my sons to me. She testified to the attachment that is there between the couple and my sons and how continued therapy is going. If we win I do know I want her to help lead the therapy and finding the therapist here to work with all of us.<br />
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Next was the assessor of my children. I liked him too. He spoke of the attachment that was there between the couple and my sons and that is developing and his concerns if it is suddenly cut. Yet he also stated it is like a Chrystal ball in predicting what could happen. There is no guarantees to either side. He could not guarantee that with a slow transition, proper therapy and community supports that my children would suffer irreparable harm. He also stated that RAD can be overcome. He also stated he found it very concerning how much information was completely omitted, changed or so on when I pointed out the things that came out the past two weeks in court. Very concerning he stated as I listed off the biggest issues that had gotten on the record. He also stated no one mention if my sons had told anyone of a desire to move home to me or not and that he could not answer the question of the attachment of my sons to me as he has never met me or observed us together. But he also stated clearly that attachment is just one piece of the puzzle that the judge has to look at in determining this whole situation. After his testimony he sat in the court room and continued to watch. When we were done I got up and went to shake his hand and tell him I thought his report was in no way bias as he had stated a concern that one of the parties might think that. He then shocked me completely. He said he had witnessed many self litigated cases over the years with the majority being "Gong Shows" as he put it. He then smiled at me and said that with me though, from what he saw I was the most professional and organized self litigant he had ever met. WOW I was in shock and thanked him. For me the biggest thing he helped with was when the department questioned him at first they tried to cover up all the huge issues that have come out, that have not been disclosed, lied about or omitted by claiming there was only one issue he got that was a mistake which was a time line error. He stated if that is the only mistake then it is a concern but not a huge one but if there were others he would find that very concerning and depending on what they were he would want to dig further. So when I started to list them off, from records that are suppose to be documents made for a provincial court that showed falsified facts, huge omissions and so on he was very concerned he stated about them.<br />
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He was the last testimony on Tuesday. Wednesday we gave our closing statements. Mine was 13 pages long but even the judge stated that he could tell I put a lot of time and effort into it. Maybe I will post a vetted copy of my closing statement at some point but right now I won't be. Tomorrow is the possible verdict. There is a lot for the judge to think about. We could still lose. In fact I am preparing to lose because that is all I know. I know that justice very rarely happens. I know how powerful Children Services is. But I have the abuse caused by that monster on the record now. I have many of the glaring issues and possible crimes by many workers on the record as well. No longer hidden in the shadows. And I know, after all this that no matter the verdict I am not done. If I lose this, I still can go to the Supreme Court and I now have the grounds to do so. And I also know I have the grounds to file a clear Humane Rights complaint as well and will be doing that in the near future as well. I think I have shown I am not a mother who will just give up.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-55769482147454993892015-09-11T21:27:00.002-07:002015-09-11T21:27:56.956-07:00Day 4 of the PGO Judicial Review TrialWOW what a day people. Seriously. I don't know how to process today at all. So this morning was the first witness for the department. The lady who did my parental assessment. They swore her in as an expert which I happily had no problem with. Then the departments lawyer started to question her. Just about every question he asked her she would some how spin it around to focus on just the importance of the attachment of my sons to the people they were with. Even though in the report she did admit to passing me in all areas as being a fit parent she would still say I can only say this for the two in my care currently. Then right back to the attachment. It was very obvious to me that she was not focusing on my parenting abilities, which is what she was hired to do - gage whether I was able to parent and my ability to parent. Instead she kept focusing on the attachment of my sons to their caregivers. Which she has never witnessed, has never assessed AND which is not what she was hired to do. She attested that I passed the physical ability to meet their needs, I passed the social ability to meet their needs, I passed the cultural ability to meet their needs and I passed the intellectual ability to meet their needs. The emotional needs she also stated I was able to show that I passed everything under emotional needs except the attachment part. So they stayed focus almost entirely on that trying to either spin the others or twist it to the attachment one. The children's lawyer did similar focusing almost entirely on the attachment part and ignoring all the other points and also ignoring that this assessment was not about the attachment of my sons to me or to the couple they are with but was suppose to be about my ability to parent. I did get her to admit that yes there is a chance that my oldest son could still have some attachment to me. There was a lot of interesting things that came out but I think the judges questions and responses to her were the most telling. I won't go into the details of it but I have to say I was in shock about that exchanged. Given my lack of experience and knowledge I think I did a really good job in questioning her and I am happy with how that turned out. <br />
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Next was my testimony. I gave part of it yesterday. Most of my testimony in fact but since I was still under oath I could not state that I had. I concluded today with some clarifying things after the parental assessor. I was really nervous but I think I held my composure well. When it came to cross the departments lawyer went first. I was not prepared for their questions as I had no idea how they would question me but I think I gave really good responses and got the truth out. The judge looked thoughtful most of the time anytime I chanced a glance at him. Right now I seriously think he is trying to really figure this all out. I don't get the same vibe from him as I did with the PGO judge. I think at first he was really confused with how I was calling my witnesses but I think he might be starting to see all I have done to try and show I am fit. I really do think that no matter what I have won point A. They can't show in any way that I am not fit. They can't show in any way that I am not willing and they can't show in any way that I am not able. I have too many professionals testifying to that regard who have watched me parent over too long a period of time.<br />
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I have 0 idea where point B is going to end up. Seriously I don't. I wish I did but given I have no idea I am preparing for the worst but positively hoping for the best. I can actually see possible light at the end of this journey finally. There is a 50-50 chance I could see my sons soon. I have to admit I have shocked myself. I am so happy with how I have stay calm and been able to show the judge who I really am under the most unbelievable stressful circumstance for a case that works on your deepest emotions. So that is where we are now. I have not yet prepared for the second week but I am taking a few days off and then start to try and see how to figure out the rest. I do have a basic idea but figuring it all out will take time. So until the 21st I am on a blog break. lol Chat to you all then.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-14718396105431700112015-09-10T17:44:00.001-07:002015-09-10T17:44:03.303-07:00Day 2 and 3 of the PGO Judicial Review TrialFirst sorry for not updating last night. I was completely exhausted from the stress and just wanted some down time with my kids and family. <br />
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So yesterday the first witness I called was my daughters worker. She attested to receiving the file in August of 2013. She attested to the process to my daughter moving home as well. And that the PGO was rescinded and no concerns were raised in the process of her being my daughter's case worker while they her moved home. Then she attested to the fact that she was one of the two people who decided to cut contact between my daughter and her brothers. Which is something that sickened us when we learned it. She knew we thought the previous worker who was the one to place my sons in the home now was the one who had chosen it. To find out that the first worker we ever trusted was the one who was a part of the decision to cutting contact between my daughter and her brothers left me feeling so betrayed and upset. But she did send my daughter home so we have to give her credit for that. But the suffering she helped to cause my daughter with not telling us, or giving a valid reason for doing it really upsets me.<br />
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The next person we called was my first community support person. Who was in our home regularly by the time we were 5 months pregnant. She attested to how prepared we were, how we would jump on any thing she asked us to do and by the next week it would be done, she attested to me even pointing out concerns in their baby curriculum and that her supervisor made changes in it thanks to me. She attested that as soon as we contacted them we let them know that we wanted a mandatory reporter in our home to help prove how fit we were to not just be able to bring our son home when born but also to help prove we were fit to bring my sons home as well. She attested to how we reacted to finding out my children were in care and not in the monsters home any longer. She attested to how we handled finding out our baby was going to be born with a cleft and how we were on top of that right away. She attested to never having any concerns of our parenting of our youngest. She also attested to the fear I had of our youngest being removed at birth but even with that fear I still went in at 8 months pregnant to let CPS know about the pregnancy on our support workers suggestion. They tried to cross both her and the case worker with asking them if they ever saw us parent my two older sons. But of course they would say no since I have had no contact.<br />
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The next witness was my daughter and she did great. She was not allowed to attest to anything that happened in the monsters home but I know it got on the record from the first witness of the trial. She was only allowed to attest to the circumstances around her and I getting back in contact and the process of her moving home and how it has been at home since moving home. She also attested to the PGO being rescinded. She was beautiful and confident. I was so proud of her the entire time. She also attested to how much she missed her brothers. No matter what happens I am so proud of her for deciding she wanted to be a part of this and helping to make her voice heard in her effort to fight for the return of her brothers. Hopefully they will know how much their sister misses and loves them.<br />
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The last witness was our current community support worker. She attested to what she has witness of our parenting of our youngest and his sister. Our ability to access community supports, how proactive we are in our parenting. She also attested to witnessing this summer some very important events that lend even more credibility to our ability to parent. Sorry people can't go into those details, so wish we could, but we don't want to wreck the position we are in with this other journey by spilling the beans early. But I can say it is events that have a very large weight to our side and proving our ability to parent, our fitness and willingness.<br />
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Todays witnesses were our secret weapons as I have come to call them. They also are a part of the summer events that I could not go into. But they also add huge weight to our side about fitness, willingness and how prepared we are to take my sons if we win. I wish I could hug and kiss each one in turn. They told exactly what they saw and how these events have been ongoing for months. All awesome things. It is so nice to finally be working with people who are not only passionate about their jobs but are honest as well. <br />
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The last witness we called was a very dear friend of ours from the past 5yrs. Who has been in our home tons over the years. He attested to how involved we are in helping people in our community and spoke of the families we helped at Thanksgiving last year and all the families we helped at Christmas as well. He attested to never having any concerns when he has been in our home and how awesome Nico is. <br />
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So that is about it. Still not sure about where this will go. Sometimes I think no matter what I do or show my sons will never come home. That is my experience in the past. Other times like today, after things were coming out, questions the judge was asking, even how quickly counsel would try and shut down some line of questioning leaves me wondering. Right now if someone asked me what could happen I would really honestly say I don't know. Yesterday I would have said that there was about an 85% chance at losing. But now? I really am not sure. Last PGO I knew I was screwed as soon as I saw that my lawyer was not using any evidence or touching on anything that would show the lies. But now things are coming out. People are being shown to trip over themselves some, the facts in many areas are coming out finally. Slowly in some, not at all in others sadly but some is and it is all very important stuff. And to me, last time I knew the judge already had a verdict before the PGO trial even started. But this judge I have no idea. I am not sure if he has even started to try deciding anything. He seems to really be curious about what has been happening and has happened. And he is really nice and has been so patient with me. But right this minute guys I can't tell you which way it will go as I really don't know.<br />
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Tomorrow is the lady who did the parental assessment, then myself. So we will see where this goes. I will continue to try and keep you updated. After tomorrow it will adjourn for a week and then the department will call the rest of it's witnesses(3) and my last two will be called. My landlord and my longest friend who is more like a brother. So stay tuned.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=fe8c8025dcbda070">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-3223834348321187142015-09-08T20:02:00.001-07:002015-09-13T21:32:28.523-07:00First Day of the PJO Judicial Review TrialWOW I must say I am proud of myself. Don't often say that about me. But I survived day one and I can truly say I have a new respect for the amount of work Lawyers have to do for stuff like this. I felt so overwhelmed in there. Doug says I seemed calm but I was completely terrified the entire time. I made a ton of technical mistakes. The judge and the departments lawyers I will say were very patient with me about it though. <br />
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The first witness they were able to veto most of the history. So all the abuse my kids suffered while in my mothers home prior to the PGO didn't get on the record. I had a feeling that would happen. So we were hopeful but prepared for it. So no shock. The lawyers did give me one thing on that loss though. They did state to the judge they were willing to concede on my desire to see my sons and that I have always been willing and desiring my sons home. So that was point one for us. Some of the major abuse and trauma that my sons had happen and that Isabeau went through did get on the record though and the condition of one of the children upon leaving my mothers home was also put on the record as well. The lead caseworker did also admit that the children were removed for sever reasons that came to light by things they noticed, community members coming forewarned with what they saw and my own kids statements when interviewed. They also stated that as soon as they fully realized what was happening in the home that the children were removed. He also went on to stated that what they had thought that home was like was not at all what was really happening. So some of their trauma did end up on the record. And in so doing my hope is the family who has them will see that what my children were enduring in that home for a long period of time was way worse then what they thought. They were not there but I hope it will get back to them. Regardless of what the out come to this trial my sons need more then just regular counseling. They need intense trauma based therapy that will help them deal with what happened so as not to have life long issues.<br />
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The second witness was the Child psychologist that Isabeau saw while in my mothers care and who also was a part of noticing the inconsistences of what my mother had been stating about Isabeau. I was not allowed to question her at all about Isabeau prior to her returning home. The judges ruling was that Isabeau was not a part of this trial other then to show how fit my home is, at least till she testifies. But I was allowed to call her as an expert. The judge was confused at first why I was asking general questions like the symptoms of trauma in a child from the ages of 6-12. I read off the symptoms and then had her verify each one. The judge then as me why I thought this would be relevant and I told him two very important reasons. The first was that other witnesses will be attesting to symptoms and behaviors of my children that will show that they have sever trauma and possible PTSD. The second was, and yes I did state this to the judge. That win or lose I wanted this all known so that hopefully the workers and couple who have them will realize my children went through sever trauma that needs to be address and in so knowing that get them the therapy they need to ensure that what happened in that home does not destroy the rest of their precious lives. The judge allowed me to continue. So I then asked her what the possible out come could be for a child that endures sever trauma where it is not only not acknowledge but completely ignored. She listed things like sever addictions, relationship issues, tons of really scary things but the biggest worry for me was that their risk of suicide or self harm. She did attest to Isabeau having PTSD and still thinks she might have very mild ADHD. But she also attested to Isabeau seeming to be very happy and confident when she saw her again in my care suffering from some anxiety when she saw her last summer but personally I think that was to be expected with such a huge change in her life by moving home and to a much bigger city and school. She did not yet have her confidence back at that time. So I at least was able to get the importance of the trauma on the record as well.<br />
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The next was the doctor that saw my sons after removal of the children from my mothers care and also saw them again a year later. She attested to the marks and condition that were on them upon removal from my mom and then the concerns about certain things that were still apparent a year later. All important in showing that what they had endure there was a lot worse then anyone had been willing to admit which again goes to showing the trauma.<br />
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The last witness was the social worker who had my sons file when my daughter and I got back in touch. She attested to behaviors of one of my sons that the foster parents had been recording. She attested to My daughter getting in touch with me, the refusal of contact when I requested it for my sons and I. She also attested to the withholding of my sons gifts though at first she tried to state she gave them too them. But had to change that later based on evidence. She also had to attest to never getting my kids any counseling the entire time they were in her caseload regardless of what behaviors my kids were showing. She also attested to not reviewing the records other then to just glance over them when she got them to find out if they had any diagnoses or not. She attested to allowing visits between Isabeau and I but tried to deny knowledge at first of ongoing visits that following summer and later changed that to her suddenly recalling that they did occur. She did attest that both she and the family who have my sons did promise Isabeau that contact would never be cut and she said that was one of the reasons she choose them. Was because they had told her they would not cut her out of their lives. Lastly she attested to no knowledge of contact being cut between Isabeau and her brothers.<br />
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So a lot that didn't get said. A lot that got covered up or left by the way side but also a lot of big things that did get on the record. A lot of very important information that needed to finally be set straight was corrected. Hopefully as the days go by and more information comes to light minds will be changed about me and the truth of the kind of person I really am, the truth of the type of loving mom I am and how much I truly love my children and how much I am willing to fight for what is in their best interest will be realized. Win or lose this case will hopefully change my sons lives for the better and they will finally get the real treatment they need to have the best life possible.<br />
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Tomorrow the first witness is the case worker who saw my file and me for who I really was and returned Isabeau home to us will be taking the stand. The next person will be my first community support person, then my daughter and then my current community support person. These witness will help show who I am, now that we have covered what my sons have gone through. The journey continues.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=6730e9d4c193bc2a">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-30321583403274324542015-09-07T17:56:00.000-07:002015-09-07T17:59:32.342-07:00The Night Before The Trial BeginsWell tomorrow the PGO Judicial Review starts. The days of the trial will be Sept 8-11th and then again Sept 21-25. Yes two whole weeks. Tomorrow is the first day of the trial and to say I am nervous is an understatement. Not because I don't have the evidence on my side but because this whole thing terrifies me. I do have PTSD and I do have Agoraphobia. Neither of which make standing up in court easy. This is not my area of expertise or comfort. The last thing I would have ever thought if someone had asked me a year ago if I would consider being my own lawyer I would have laughed. Yeah right. Nope. <br />
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But after being refused legal aid twice, after not having any lawyer to help me do a Robathum application and after approaching several lawyers to see if they would allow payments and finding out their costs would have us in the poor house until a ripe old age. I have been left with no alternative but to be my own lawyer.<br />
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It did come with some perks. I got full disclosure of both my sons records to me and learn so much more about what they have been through, learn about so much more of the cover ups, learned so much more about how this case was so badly handled by so many then I ever would have learned if I had a lawyer. I think it also shows how strong and stable I am. That even with my disabilities I am not only willing but able to stand up for my family when so many told me to just give up. To them I ask what are your children worth? If your children were removed from you for false reasons and them removed from each other how long and how far would you fight to correct what was done to them?<br />
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So here is what is on the game plan for the next few days. Tomorrow I will be calling the main social worker who pursued and got the PGO granted against me. Who is also the social worker who 5 months later removed my children from my mother. The things that will come out with his testimony and the evidence from their own records will shed some very interesting light on this whole case. Everything will come to light. It is time to end the secrecy of what happened to my family and he will help in turning that light on.<br />
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Next is the Child Psychologist who was seeing and treating my daughter even after the removal from my mother. She also had a big part in revealing what was truly happening in that home that my mother has convinced so many did not occur. Her abuse will no longer be hidden and no longer will any of her victims who are now survivors, have to hang their heads in shame because no one believes them. Now it will be on court record. <br />
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Next will be a Doctor who saw my children after they were removed from my mother and noted their condition, marks and other very serious concerns. His testimony will help to show what was truly happening in that home and what long term results happened because of my so called mother who has no right after what she has done to so many innocent children to call her self a mother or a grandmother. Monster fits her so much better and is way more accurate.<br />
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And finally that day we will hear from the social worker who told me I was living in a fantasy land if I ever thought I would get my children back. Well I guess I am living in that fantasy land because my daughter is home and my youngest has never been a concern to CFS. <br />
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The first day is going to bring out some very serious things that occurred to all my children and show just how severely the department failed my whole family along with how far they went to cover it up once they realized how badly they had failed. I hope that the judge we have will listen to all the witnesses and the evidence and give a fair ruling at the end and not a political one. My family has lost enough time, has suffered enough pain from the forced separation that we never deserved. <br />
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I hope that this long journey will not just help my family when it is all said and done but will also help other families who don't think they can fight on their own for theirs. If I can do this and still keep going then so can others. So wish us luck everyone. As I did with the previous trial I will keep everyone updated as best I can. This could be a story that can change a lot of lives for the better.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=d008ae395f9d3e04">Return to Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-64164230236263626542015-04-01T10:50:00.002-07:002015-04-01T10:50:38.251-07:00"You Can't Have It Both Ways. Either She Is a Fit Parent Or She Isn't"So yesterday was an emotionally stressful day. Had a 2 hour trial conference with the departments lawyer and the judge who I have mentioned before as making statements being prejudicial. First I will bring you up to speed on what happened this past weekend. As you will recall last summer it was agreed that the department would have an assessment on my sons done. They were given 3 months. And as you will recall once it was complete, instead of giving me a copy, I had to demand one in court. Well just like the records I received(which had only had about a quarter of the records vetted, for those who don't know what vetted means it means that someone goes through the documents and blacks out names, locations and anything that can identify people or give them locations of people or other contact information.) the assessment was not vetted at all. Which I didn't mind one bit of coarse. Well on Saturday I get an email from the departments lawyer demanding the unvetted copy back. Over 4 months after receiving it. He said he would exchange it for a vetted copy. He wanted me to exchange them yesterday at the trial conference. When I refused he got pretty flustered. He demanded to know why. I stated I have notes and such on my copy. There is no way I want them to have my notes. On top of that I have all that information in my hands now for over 4 months. Why the sudden desire to get it back? He was not happy about that. He said because he didn't want me to just spread the information around. I smiled a sweet smile at him and told him I have not once ever posted on my blog anything that a Judge has told me not to. He then said I should have no problem then to give it to him. I told him I can say that I have followed judges orders but my experience with the department, their workers and their lawyers have shown me that they have no problem lying, twisting things and so on. So as I have proven I can back things up and follow the law they have not. So I am not handing over the papers. I told him I would mention it to the judge or he could bring it up at the next court date and if the judge told me to hand it over then I would but not before. At the end of the meeting we discussed it and even the Judge could see that I had valid reasons to not just hand it over. So it was agreed that I would take the vetted copy that day, move my notes over and then black out my notes on the original. The next court date I am to bring my original copy in and the court will destroy it. The departments lawyer won't get it.<br />
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So back to start of the meeting. I was expecting the same as before when dealing with this judge. As soon as I saw him my back was up. I had no desire to sit through him making assumptions about me or this case based on no evidence in front of him and watching him help stack the deck for the department. But I was about to be in for a surprise. At first it went the same route. And I responded right back. I didn't care at this point that I was talking to a judge. I was sick of the assumptions about me and I called him on it. For once he seemed to sit back and listen. I am serious too. I got the impression that for once he was seeing me as a human being instead of an evil mother that was trying to slander the department. He stated it is not his place to put a judgment on this case. His job is to prepare it for court in a manner as to ensure the critical witnesses are there and there is no one there to waste a judges time or the courts time. Finally something I agreed with. <br />
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At this point he turned to the departments lawyer and told him, and I quote "You can't have it both ways." The first part of this case is I have to prove that I am a fit parent who is ready and willing to take my sons back and raise them. If that burden can not be met then it is pointless to move onto the next more critical part of the trial which is "What is in the best interest of my sons." So usually he explained this is done via a pre trial. And this is where he put the department on the spot. He said either she is(meaning me) a fit parent or she isn't. And since I just had the PGO for my daughter rescinded in December as all concerns having been alleviated(stated in court documents), and because I have always had full custody of my youngest son that the department has a serious problem. He said they have two choices. They either concede that I am a fit parent or it will go to a pretrial. At this point I stated that if it goes to a pre trial just to cover that first point then I would be calling additional witnesses. The judge looked to me and commented that I don't need to add more witnesses. I said these witnesses would speak directly to how fit I am since they are my sons surgical team from the Alberta Childrens Hospital. They see him every year and do assessments on everything about him every year. They would not just speak about his condition but everything we have done with working with the team, my sons developments for learning and so on. Then I would also call my community support workers as well and others. <br />
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The judge then turned to the department and again asked what their position is on the first point. He read from the departments letter that they were not going to have me or my home assessed. That they are going to go based on the PGO judgment. You could see this did not sit well with the judge as he clearly stated that in the law we are using it clearly talks about situations changing and such as a good reason for a judicial review and they don't have anything from a professional except something from 5yrs ago also that states I was ready to parent as long as I had the supports set up.(Parenting assessment prior to PGO being granted) The departments lawyer tried to say I was fit for my teen and my 2yr old but not special needs boys. I looked at the lawyer and said any loving parent can take care of a special needs child as long as they have the community supports in place for them and the family. I HAVE THOSE IN PLACE AND HAVE FOR YEARS. After I stated this the department again tried to say that their position is I was fit for my teen and my youngest and the Judge interrupted and again said "You can't have it both ways." and then he told him that if this goes to pre trial and a judge has to sit though countless witnesses to prove I am a fit mom, and the judgment for the first point comes out that I am a fit parent then the department better be prepared to pay ALL COSTS for that pre trial. Which I gathered also meant any costs to me for calling my experts to prove that I am fit. I could see the departments lawyer was not swallowing that piece of news very well. I on the other hand was elated. No matter what happens on point one I have won a HUGE point. If they concede the point as the judge is telling them they need to seriously consider, then it makes everything they have done to my family be confirmed. The department tried to stated with the PGO being granted against me that I was not fit to parent anyone. They stated the same when my son was born and I was begging them to re-evaluate my home and myself without my mother there to taint anything. This was before they had been placed in their current home, which the departments lawyer is stating is a foster home in emails to me. Interesting to note that in court letters they are a pending adoptive home but in other places they are called a foster home. I think the foster home description is more accurate. They would not even consider re-evaluating me. And didn't think I would use that time to prove with other agencies that the PGO judge and the departments workers were wrong about me. But I did just that. Now they don't have just me or some friends trying to convince a judge that I am fit. Now they have to try and convince a judge I am unfit all while professionals(Children's Hospital Team, our family dentist and other medical professionals), including 2 professionals that work for a program that CPS funds and are Mandatory Reporters all stating that in the 3yrs I have been working with them that not only am I a fit parent but I will jump through any hoop they ask me too and beyond to do what is right for my entire family.<br />
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So the departments lawyer needs to find out if they are going to concede on point one or if it goes to pretrial. I am fine with a pretrial. I know I will win that. I would so love to be a fly on the wall hearing those conversations between the department and their lawyer and the family who has my children. The family was always lead to believe that I was unfit, an addict, an abuser, totally insane. I really hope in realizing the truth that they finally decide to do the right thing. Love my sons but support them in returning home to the family they never should have been separated from to begin with. Do I hope their heart finally opens up and realizes the right thing to do. For sure. Do I think they will? I have never met them. All I know about them is how much they have hurt my daughter and my sons by doing all they could to ensure that they suffered as much trauma as possible by separating them completely with no contact. They are causing my children harm and trying to cover it up with "she is trying to steal our family". When the reality is they are helping in hurting my sons and they are the ones that unknowingly at the time helped in stealing them from their real family. <br />
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So then we talked about the second point. He did make it clear, which I already knew, that the courts do not always put emphasis on the biological family. He did make one statement that I have to share here because I am sure there will be a huge out cry. And I questioned him 3 times to make sure I had it right. He stated that if I am successful in showing that the department did majorly mess up and that none of this should have happened, that it does not guarantee that a judge will return my sons to me. He said this very calmly. And to be honest I suspected it but was not sure till I heard it come out of a judges mouth. So I looked him straight in the eye and stated "So if CPS screws up, totally destroying a family, gets proven as such in a court, that that does not necessarily mean that the family will be reunited? How is that justice. Why should they have to have a life sentence?" He said it always comes down to the best interest of the child. And that is when we move on to the assessment.<br />
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He asked me if I had any issues with the assessors credentials. I said no. He seemed surprised and so did the department. He then said a lot of weight rides on the assessor. I said I know. But I then went on to point out two important points on how an assessor comes to their conclusions. He asked for me to continue. 1) History. I then stated I can use the departments own records to show that they not only gave a misleading history but one that was totally fabricated in many areas. He looked over at the departments lawyer who looked shocked. 2) what he sees. Again using the departments own records and the assessment I can show what he was seeing and what he was being told is totally different then what the departments own records show. Then when you thrown in my evidence there is serious cause to wonder if he came to the right assessment. But even then the assessment is not very favorable in many areas for the department. <br />
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The judge then said the two points he thought I was going to be trying to fight with was that I am the bio mom so know what my kids need(this is true but courts don't always believe it) and that the department screwed me over. He reminded me that I was not allowed to relitigate the original PGO. I reminded him I won't be. I said I will be using everything that has happened since the PGO was granted against me. I will show that not only have my sons not thrived while in care, but that they have permanent life lasting scars from what they have endure while having no voice to scream for help. He nodded and said that I can't be faulted for my passion when it comes to my children. He has no idea how accurate his statement is. There are many other things I will be addressing to show that it is in my childrens best interest to be home and out of the departments care.<br />
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Personally I don't trust this judge because of how he made me feel the last two times I was in his presence. But I will say that this time I felt like I was at least being treated as an equal to the departments lawyer. I didn't agree with him on a lot of points but he always stated things in a respectful manner and was much more patient and understanding when I asked questions and worked harder to help me clarify things so I could understand. So where we stand right now is that the departments lawyer has to find out if his client wants to do a pretrial for just the first point or if they are willing to concede. So all in all a very good day but emotionally taxing for sure. I hope my story will continue to help other families to fight and not give up. Whether you have a lawyer or not.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=208e4c7b4e56ffc0">Return to Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-26164080576923974942015-03-01T23:25:00.001-08:002015-03-01T23:25:33.652-08:00A Year And A Half Of Your Life Did Not HappenConfusing title I know but when you read what is going on you will understand. So at the last trial conference we got the judge who's preconceived notion is that I am going through all these years of hell just to show that CPS screwed me over and not because of what is in the best interest of my sons and my entire family. Yeah I was just as happy about that. lol The conference went just as well as the last one he oversaw but this time I stood up to both the lawyers who kept fudging the facts(for example my sons lawyer said that my daughter came home because she is 16 and because contact was always ongoing the entire time she had been in care between her and I. Ummm huhhh. Have you read your own file? No I didn't say that. But I did interrupt her and tell the judge that was not true at all. That I didn't have contact with her from 09-Nov 2012. There were tons of other things they made up or changed in the facts but you get the idea. Anyway the judge was very adamant that he wanted me to get rid of most of my witness list INCLUDING social workers. Yup he doesn't want me calling the social workers involved in the PGO or even after. Just the current ones. But I didn't back down. Trust me it was hard. But I didn't. I told the judge I was not removing any of the social workers and I was not removing most of my witness list. So he told me that he would not give me the trial and court days I wanted then. I still would not back down even with that threat. So finally after I continued to be talked down to by the lawyers and by the judge, after he out right stated that what I was saying was not true, even with no evidence on hand, I told him that I would not put myself through 7yrs of hell fighting for my children for a vendetta. That I would not trigger my PTSD over and over again and put myself in situations that I know will cause me high anxiety(courtrooms, trial conference rooms where I am there with no support in a room with the departments male lawyer and male judge. That I am doing all this and continuing this fight on my own without a lawyer and with mental illnesses. Fighting for my sons for 7yr which is way longer then a lot of families in my position. <br />
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At this point he turned to the departments lawyer and instructed us all to write a letter. Describing what we had to prove in court and why we are calling each witness and how that witness will help to prove these things in court. We were to submit them at the end of the month of February. So this past Friday I received the one from the departments lawyer. Not much in it but he does state he thinks the only witness I need to call was the social worker who was working with my daughter and moved her home. She is on my list to call along with 3 other social workers. Of course he only wants me calling her. The fewer witnesses I call the better for their case.<br />
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The lawyer for my sons had a much more interesting letter. I swear they either just don't open anything to look at any of the evidence I sent or what is in CPS records OR they just make it up as they go along because they really don't care about truth. Just about winning. Either way here is some interesting parts of her letter:<br />
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"Factual Background – Context of the Application <br />
The last supervised visit between "the mother"(removed my name) and the boys occurred on November 10, 2010. "<br />
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SUPERVISED VISIT??? I had been having unsupervised visits with my sons for well over a year at the time of the trial. Every week unless denied by the social worker for a false complaint. I know for her convincing the judge that my visits were supervised up to the trial looks better for them. But it is a complete lie. They know a huge issue for them also is that I never got a termination visit. They also know that the files show that my last visit occurred the last week of October. The very next week was the trial. The following week when I emailed for my next visit I was ignored. They had no court orders to cut off my visits. They did it for no reason. They know this is a huge hurtle. So they have to try and make up something. It will be interesting how they make up a visit that never happened. I never saw my children Nov 10th.<br />
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"The children have been in their current placement since June, 2013. Adoption proceedings have been put on hold pending the resolution of this action. "<br />
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This one had me laugh a little. Seriously you are my sons lawyer and you don't even know the month they were placed with the couple that wants to adopt them? They were placed there in January of 2013 and the adoption ceremony was in February. Thanks to my daughter not only do I know that I have seen the ceremony on her I-pod. It was dated.<br />
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"The mother" (removed my name) is in a stable relationship with a man that "her sons"(removed their names) have never met." <br />
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Ummm what? Did you not get the evidence I sent? Where it shows MANY videos, audio tapes and pictures with my partner and my sons? For those reading this if you have any doubt here is a link to my FB page dedicated to my fight for my children showing pictures of my sons with my partner and I along with many videos:<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/HelpBringIsabeauDedrickAndRonanHomeToTheirBrother/photos_stream?tab=photos_albums">FB Page</a><br />
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So is she trying to deny a whole year and a half of bonding, visits and family times because it will better her case? This is suppose to be my childrens lawyer. She is suppose to fight for their best interest. But instead of really doing the work she is either just writing down what ever the workers are telling her without doing the investigative work or she really has no problem making this up as she goes along. Either way she is not fighting for my childrens rights by denying their life experiences to better her case.<br />
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"The mother" has an infant (a half sibling to "the two in care") and 15 year old daughter (a full sibling to "the two in care" whom they have not seen in several years) in her full-time care."<br />
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First when I hear infant I think of baby. Under a year old. My son is 2yrs old. My daughter is 16yrs old. And I can tell you teenagers do not like it when people tell them they are younger then they are. Also "several years" usually means more then 3. My daughter last had contact with her brothers in May of 2013. So it has been less then 2yrs. <br />
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I know this is just the start of how much they will twist and lie to keep my sons. They are making things up out of thin air and relying on the judicial system to ignore the facts and the truth. And sadly usually it does. I am hoping that for my family for once the judicial system will look honestly at what has happened to my family. I am planning on bringing a family photo my partner and I had done with my two sons to the next trial conference just to show the judge that I am not the one lying and making things up. <br />
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I continue to struggle up this seemingly impossible mountain to fight for my family. I hope what we go through will help others as well.<br />
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Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-79207995665560717132014-12-31T15:46:00.000-08:002014-12-31T15:46:11.400-08:00Ending of 2014What a whirlwind of a year. This time last year we only had visits with my daughter and had no idea that there could even be a chance at having her brothers PGO reviewed. So much has changed since then and so many more things are going to be happening soon.<br />
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My daughter is 16yrs old now and her own person. She is no longer owned by CPS. That is huge to us. There is no more threat to her and her little brother. No gift could be worth more to her or us then the judge granting her her freedom. My sons are now on a path that will hopefully bring them home. Our next court date is in late January for another trial conference. CPS is still trying to find excuses as to why they are keeping them from their only mother and from their siblings. All of their reasons basically show that they see my kids as property and money objects. So my 16yr old daughter is safe here, my 2yr old son is safe here but my 10yr old son and my 7yr old son are not safe here? All because they sold them to another family and need to save face because they know they really screwed up with my family? WOW. <br />
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The past few months I have had the privilege(hard fought too because CPS of course did not want me to see their lies in print or the police too either lol) to read two more different versions of their stories of my sons. Depending on who they are talking too shows how each story changes. Even in the last trial conference my sons lawyer showed her lack of knowledge for the case by stating that my daughters case is different because she is older and because we had contact the entire time she has been in care. UMMM really?! Have you not read your own files on this case? My daughter and I went through 3-4 years of no contact at all because of how much she was brainwashed against me. No contact at all. And now she is home, has none of the psychotic issues CPS workers were so convinced she had that they had her on antipsychotics. WOW now she is happy and healthy and on no meds and out of CPS clutches. Considering how little each person on this case, be it worker or lawyer, really truly knows about the case, let alone the children they are suppose to be protecting sure explains why there are so many different, varying stories with no evidence for any of them. They just make it up as they go along. And the ones that continue to suffer is my children and my family. Hopefully this new year with the trial we will see results that will bring my sons home and this torture of my family ended.<br />
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As to the abuse investigations we had a great year for that as well. Thanks to the wonderful CPS workers lying to police, my sons who the police were not going to do an abuse investigation on, now have had their investigation reopened because of me fighting in court to disclose the CPS files that the CPS workers said had no evidence of abuse in them. There was enough evidence in them that the police then went to court and fought and won in December to force CPS to disclose all their files to the police. ALL OF THEM. They were given 14 days to disclose everything they had on my children. YEAH!!!!! Wonder how they felt standing in court and having to explain to a judge why they told the police that there was no evidence of abuse of my children in their files only to be shown as lying and being forced to now disclose everything. We did such a happy dance when we got that news.<br />
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Along with that is this year we also helped 16 families at Thanksgiving and also 50 families at Christmas with hampers thanks to awesome and dedicate friends and wonderful communities. My divorce was also official October 31st of this year which leads me into another announcement. My fiancé asked me if we could get married sooner rather then later. Fighting for my kids to come home has been my main focus for years. We have now been engaged for 5yrs. We always planned to get married when my sons came home. We had promised them that. But we also have our 2yr old to think about and now my 16yr old daughter as well. So we are applying to get a copy of the divorce decree and then getting a marriage license. We are hoping to be married by the end of January. We are not having a wedding. Just us and our best friends as witnesses. We will have a full wedding when my sons come home just as we promised and renew our vows then along with making a vow to our family to never again be separated like this. We are having a party after as many of our friends asked to celebrate with us. <br />
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We might even get to have another wonderful surprise if my dad can swing it. He is going to try to find a way to attend. I so hope he can. It has been 28yrs since I last saw him. 26yrs of which we had no contact at all. So not only could this be a wedding but also a huge overdue reunion. My daughter is so excited about that. It would be a dream come true if he could attend. The only thing that could top that is my sons being there but I know CPS won't even consider that for them or us. They don't want to lose any more of their slippery grip on my children then they already have.<br />
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So a lot has happened this year. So much good stuff I lose count. And some much good stuff happening soon to come as well. To my sons I miss you both so much. We have your Christmas presents and stockings here for you waiting in your room. I am so proud of you both and hopefully 2015 will be the year we are finally reunited and you can come home. I promised you I would not stop fighting to bring you home and even though you both have been through hell and back and lied to so much about me, I am still here. I never gave up. I love you both with my whole heart and I can't wait for you and your sister to be reunited. She misses you both and I can't wait for you to meet your little brother. Happy New Year my sons.<br />
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And Happy New Year to everyone who reads this.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=3511752508d7a80a">Return to Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-71030402875025421972014-12-18T22:09:00.003-08:002014-12-18T22:09:57.516-08:00The Best Christmas Present EVER!!!Today was an amazing day from start to exhausting finish. The best part was that we headed to court today to do something we had been fighting 6 long years for. To remove my daughters PGO or for those who don't know what that is, Permanent Gaurdianship Order. It means she is no longer the property of CPS. She is now in every legal sense my daughter and her own person. We got to the courthouse and waited for court to begin. My daughters worker showed up and we were all smiles though my daughter was nervous about the possibility of the judge talking to her. We waited our turn and within 30 minutes we were before the judge. Usually I am always serious in court but this time I just could not help smiling like a mad woman lol.My daughters worker let the judge know that we were all there to remove the PGO. The judge smiled at us both and said Congradulations and then asked my daughter if she had anything to say. Her reply was short and sweet and to the point. She just said "I am just happy to finally be home." The judge, still smiling, then said the PGO is removed, You can go home. We thanked him and then left the room and everyone hugged. We were free and one more step closer to healing our family and to correcting all the hell that had been done to us.<br />
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But that is not all. We had to hurry home. Two months ago my best friend and I started a group called Medicine Hat Holiday Helpers on Facebook. Our goal was to help families in need during the 3 main holidays during the year. Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. Thanks to the overwhelming generosity of our community we had helped 16 families this past Thanksgiving. Well this Christmas we didn't do just as well, we blew all expectations out of the water. Thanks to over 40 businesses and Medicine Hat and surrounding communities citizens we are able to help 50 families. 50!!!! Aren't people amazing.<br />
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This evening was not just our first deliveries but our group was also being filmed by Chat TV. The local tv news. It will be on tomorrow evening. I won't be on it this time. I don't do the deliveries. I can't handle the Thank You's. But I was also on it when we were first approached by them in November when they asked to follow our groups journey in helping so many. 4 of the 50 families volunteered to be filmed so while everyone was out doing that my daughter and I worked hard to take care of the kids of the delivery people and to fill the next afternoons hampers. Here is the second miracle for our family. One of our delivery and amazing volunteer people showed up when they were done and we were chatting. Then a man, I didn't get a good look, rushed up onto my deck and quickly taped something to my door. We were all in shock but went out to look at what was there. It was a thank you card thanking us for all we were doing and it had several gift cards listed with my families name on it. <br />
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I started to cry. Only my 3 closest friends knew that earlier this week we had gotten notice that a check we had been expecting was not coming. That check I was planning my families Christmas presents with and also a large Christmas dinner for my family and several of our friends who otherwise were not having one. When I received that news I cried and was so worried about my own family's Holidays but it did not change my commitment to the families we were helping. I put that worry at the back of my mind planning to address it when I was done all the hampers for everyone. This person could not have know any of this. Yet here they did something so kind for a total stranger. Not realizing that they just gave us a Christmas we otherwise would not have had.<br />
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So two totally incredible things happened today. Even my daughter was crying and so happy Best day ever she says. She said only one thing could top it and that is her brothers coming home. We have 3 more days of deliveries to do. But for us we already have our amazing Holiday Miracles happen. <br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=ca774b7337d8cbab">Return To Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-78851270437051020002014-11-26T10:07:00.000-08:002014-11-26T10:07:14.026-08:00We Are Going To TrialSo yesterday was another day in court in this never ending saga. It was pretty interesting too. We arrived about 20 minutes early and met up with our community support worker. About 10 minutes to needing to go in my sons worker walks over and starts asking me about if we consented or not or being assessed. She said she thought she remember us saying we did. She also went on to say that the assessment process done here in our area by CPS is totally different and not near as stringent as the one done in their city. We let her know that we have no problem being assessed in any way. Our only requirement is our Community Support Person be a part of every aspect of it. We also let her know that we had multiple workers who have been through our whole house and been interviewed multiple times. She then said hers would require us to be interviewed separately. This seemed strange to us since we have already been deemed fit for both my 2yr old son and my 16yr old daughter to be here. But we had no problem with any of it. Then at 5 minutes too I told her we needed to go in.<br />
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Once we were seated the departments lawyer came over and asked me what the plan was. I said if the department is willing to work with me on returning my sons to my home then we can go to a JDR and work towards that. He said not a chance. So I told him trial then. He then said he would state that to the judge. I then let him know that I had filed with the courts the request to view the assessment of my sons and contact their assessor. Plus I was requesting visitation for my daughter and myself. He went back to wait till we were called up.<br />
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When we got called up the lawyer for the department stated that I was wanting to go to trial since the department would not consider returning my children to me. The judge asked him to clarify if it was just for now that they won't consider it or never. He said never. So the judge let us know we would need to be in court again in the middle of Dec to book at trial date. Then he addressed the assessment. He asked the department what their reasoning was this time for not disclosing it to me. Their only reason was me posting information to the blog and on the FB page. The judge did not seem concerned. He just said he would make an order so I can't post information from the assessment onto social media or disclose it to anyone else other then counsel. I have never had a problem with that. He was the same judge as the one who allowed me to disclose to the police. As soon as I saw him I relaxed because even though we don't always get the ruling we want for everything we want with him, he has always been very nice, respectful and fair. So when he let me know I couldn't post information from the assessment I said no problem. Then the department requested that I not be allowed to contact the assessor of my children. This I disagree with because if I had a lawyer they would have the right to talk to them. So the judge stated till a trial date is set I can not contact the assessor but that issue will be addressed again in Dec. I thought that was fair.<br />
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So then the judge said the departments lawyer and I need to discuss our witness list and who we plan to call to the stand for the future trial. I agreed to that. I then asked about visitation for my daughter and he said he could not address that right now as the department has the PGO. That was it. So we are now headed to trial. <br />
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When we left the courtroom my sons worker tried to bait me with statements of "I understand how hard this is for you and what you are going through". I asked her how she can understand if she had never had her kids legally kidnapped. She then said she understood as a mother my plight. My reply was "you can't if you have never had your kids taken". And she said I can understand since you are the bio mom. Bio mom? I am their only mom. And I said as such. I looked her in the eye and said very calmly "I am their only mom." And she said "In my world you are only the bio mom." So glad I don't live in her world. I feel sorry for any families living in her world as she is ok destroying families and kids to make a buck. Her own words confirmed it when she said "I still have a job to do". Obviously she has forgotten that CPS is suppose to be about keeping families together as much as possible and only after exhausting all efforts should kids be taken from their families. Hmmm convenient how so many social workers forget that part of their job. I walked away as I was not going to allow her to try and bait me. For her my children are just a job. For me my children are my everything. And that is how it should be. I did make it clear to her though, and I hope she passes it on to the family who has my sons, that I will never stop. I will always appeal, I will always keep coming back till my sons are home. I will never go away. They are my children no matter what a piece of paper says that was granted through perjury and abuse.<br />
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So to trial we go.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=b29ad9bae238fc1b">Return to Map Of The Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-16654776274905687112014-11-18T09:21:00.002-08:002014-11-18T09:21:45.502-08:00Sweet 16 TodayWOW to think it has been 16yrs since you were placed in my arms for the very first time is just amazing to me. You have grown into such a strong, beautiful and intelligent young lady. And the happiest part of all this is that you are home. <br />
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I am so glad you had so much fun at your party on Saturday. The makeovers of you and your friend went so well with a lot of giggling and smiles. And then the taco party after was just full of laughter and fun. You are picking some really good friends, which really impresses me. I hope you continue to choose your friends just as wisely. <br />
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Every day I am seeing you blossom as you move past the last 6yrs and rediscover who you truly have always been. Some times you stumble or make bad choices but you are also quick to apologize(seems to be a rare trait now a days) and work towards fixing what ever was the issue. You have so many goals and dreams for your future and all of them are achievable. You are the only one who can hold yourself back now. And I will do all I can to help you achieve your dreams.<br />
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You are such an inspiration to so many, and you don't even know it. You have endure so much in your short life, yet you want to use your experiences to show others what can be over come. You refuse to be held back. You love to help others, and have so much love for animals.<br />
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I am very very proud of you. I am proud to say you are my daughter. I will always be here for you. I will always be your mom. I hate the pain I see in your eyes when you talk about your brothers and them missing another b-day. I hope this is the last one. I hope this time next year our family will finally be together and justice served. I will never stop fighting for your rights to have your brothers home and in your life or their rights to be home. <br />
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Happy 16th. I can't wait to see what your future brings.<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=22ba1460c6b0f912">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5717759381940793344.post-89029416620630348502014-10-22T14:42:00.001-07:002014-10-22T14:42:24.755-07:00OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!!!!HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!! I am officially a divorced woman from my ex. Finally. Definitely a long time in coming. These past 6yrs I have been concentrating on my battle for my children, as many of you know. That was my main priority. Then added to that was the police investigations and the birth of my fourth child. Getting a divorce was on my to do list but not priority since we have no contact. Well when he was at the PGO Review court date they approached us about the divorce. We agreed to pay half of the divorce costs with him and his girlfriend. A couple of weeks later we met at the court house and filed it. Just got the paperwork in the mail today. As of the 31st of this month I am officially a divorced woman.<br />
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I know it really doesn't change anything. Every day will continue to go on as normal. But it is another step done. Another stress off my shoulders. <br />
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And for those wondering when my partner and I will get married we don't have a date yet. When we got engaged we promised the kids we would not marry till they were home and could be a part of the wedding. Dedrick and Ronan were very excited about that. Dedrick was excited because he wanted to be Best Man. Ronan was excited about being the ring bearer. Just as I promised them I would never stop fighting to bring them home, I am not changing this either. Isabeau is home now but Dedrick and Ronan are not. That plan has not changed. We will be getting married but not till they are back home where they belong. Who is ready to celebrate with me??!! lol<br />
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<a href="http://sheenaodin.blogspot.ca/2013/07/map-to-blog.html?zx=5f3126bdc8211c48">Return to Map of the Blog Page</a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03455190313792315631noreply@blogger.com0