Tuesday, September 3, 2013

First Days

For many children today is the first day of another school year.  I know it is for my daughter and most likely for my oldest two sons as well.  Another first day of school that I am missing because of so many lies and cover-ups.  Another first day that I am missing because certain people decided to be bias and not do their jobs properly.  Another first day that I am missing because of some caring more about money and less about doing what is right. 

I remember all of my daughters first days of school that I got to be a part of.  The excitement of shopping for that all important perfect outfit.  It had to be just right for her to ok it for the first day of a new school year.  The excitement of shopping for the new lunch box, back pack and all the essentials needed.  Where she got to choose based on her likes and interests.  My daughter was always so excited to start school.  She couldn't wait to get going in the morning.  I remember one morning I got up early to make a nice pancake breakfast for her and found her sitting on the couch all dressed, back pack beside her waiting to go and wondering why we were being so slow.  I remember the first day of school on the year she got to walk to school by herself for the first time.  The school was only a block and a half away, and I could see it from our home but she still felt so grown up being able to walk there by herself even with me looking on. 

I have never got to be there for my oldest sons first day.  None of them.  Are you excited?  Did you pick the all important first day out fit?  Did you get a special first day breakfast?  I know that when we had visits you let me know you hated school.  When I found out it was because you felt stupid.  I quickly figured out why.  My mother was not working with you.  Instead she was making up lies like you being colour blind to excuse away her lack of guiding you and teaching you.  So I made sure to dedicate some of our visit time to helping you learn the things you should have been learning at home.  Which helped me to see that you were not ADHD.  You were dyslexic like me.  You only get upset with learning when it had to do with writing and numbers.  And when I saw how you saw the letters and numbers I knew.  No one would listen to me though.  Not the social worker or any one else I tried to explain this too.  Didn't matter though.  We worked with you and within a few weeks you could print your name, write out the letters and numbers and started to enjoy learning.  I hope the family you are with see's that you are very smart.  You just need guidance in dealing with your dyslexia and once that is given you fly through learning things.  You are so smart just like your sister.  I wish I was there.  I wish I was there to let you know how proud of you I am.  I wish I was there to take photos to remember this day.  I wish I was there to help you prepare.  I hope next year I will be.  I hope it will be all of us as a family getting ready for the all important first day. 

My youngest might be starting his first day of either grade one or kindergarten today as well.  I wish I was there for that as well.  I have missed so much in your young life.  So much taken from us.  I hope some day you will learn the truth.  No matter how much it is covered up the truth is there to see.  This is an important day for all of you.  All of you deserve to spend it getting ready together.  To feel each others excitement, to see each other off.  Some day all of you will be able to have your first day together again. All 4 of you. 

Your sister misses you so much.  She has made many requests to call you only to be either refused or put off because of others excuses.  She has requested all spring and summer to have visits with you.  Only again to either be refused or put off with excuses.  She is so worried that she is going to lose touch with you because of lies and people refusing to do what is right.  I am hoping someone will see this and help all three of you to keep in touch till you all can come home again.

I am sending thoughts of love to all three of you.  Thoughts of support, thoughts of how proud I am of all three of you on this so important first day.  I know you sister knows.  But I hope you, my two oldest sons, can feel it in your hearts.  Know I love you and that has never and will never stop.

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