Tuesday, July 8, 2014

We Are Going For Another JDR

Well here is todays update.  First my ex was there.  I was shocked by that but they are his kids too so not totally surprised.  When the judge asked him his opinion on the PGO review he didn't say whether he was for or against it.  Which the judge thought was valid since we have no contact between us and has none of the new information. 

The court room was packed.  And I mean packed.  Standing room only and when our case was over most left.  So I think most were here for this case.  The couple who has my kids was also there.  And she especially looked worried.  They can't say they were not informed about this.  Within months of caring for my sons they were given the blog link.  They are so fearful that this morning I receive this message to the blog that is obviously from one of their friends:

"You need to realize as a mother what these boys have been through! Stop throwing around all you've been through to make people feel sorry for you! Yes you had a horrible life but maybe that has made you incapable of taking care of those beautiful boys. They already have reactive attachment disorder and yet you want to take them from the two people that love them and can afford to be there for them mentally physically and financially. As a mother myself I can't imagine having my son taken from me, but those boys have so many problems ALL they need is stability! Don't ruin there lives, they are with great people right now. They don't even know who you are, maybe that's best. "

My first thoughts on reading this when I got up this morning was YIPPEE the adoption has definitely not been finalized.  I am sure that was not what the writer was hoping.  What the writer seemed to fail at reading in the blog is that my blog is not all about me.  It is about 7 survivors of horrific abuse and INJUSTICE.  Usually when people learn of such huge injustices they rally behind the person experiencing them and give them support to help them continue to fight to see justice happen.  Instead this person wants me to roll over and give up on my children so this couple can play house with my children.  Sorry, I am a mother and any loving mother will never stop fighting for their children.  They are not puppies.  The woman did not carry my sons for 9 months.  Did not feel them kick, go through the pains of giving birth to them.  If I was an addict or an abuser I could see this kind of reasoning that they have above.  But I did nothing wrong other then to need guidance and support.  That is not the reason to lose your children forever.  Why do my sons have Reactive Attachment Disorder?  Because my mother and CPS ripped them from me.  Cutting contact with me and their sister and filling their heads with lies WHILE abusing them.  And I am just suppose to trust a stranger or CPS to tell me they are safe, loved and OK?  Ummm NO.  I will never give up fighting for my sons.  Never.  Even if the PGO review is not in my favor I will use other legal means to over turn the PGO and then have any adoption thrown out.  I will never give up.

So that email woke me up in a great mood.  So I went to court knowing my worst fears were not going to happen.  Really made my day.  I had none of the nervousness about being in court that I had last time because of that.  I stood up and the judge was very nice.  He let us know that because of the scope of the allegations in the review request that this will take a lot of paperwork and talking to figure out.  So he has scheduled another JDR for the middle of August.  With a court date to follow soon after.  Since I have no lawyer all the lawyers have to disclose EVERYTHING to me.  I love that.  And yes I know that is going to be a lot of work to weed through but I am going to enlist as many friends to help me as possible.  But it also means I will get copies of everything concerning my sons.  Which means I will finally have some updates on how they are doing.

We did ask for visits and I did get it on record that the couple who have my sons lied to them and my daughter.  Telling them contact would never be cut between them and then 3-4 months later contact was cut with no explanation.  The judge did say he was not able to grant visits with the PGO in review.  That has to be decided first.  We are glad we asked though and that we got that on record.  After court was over my daughter went up to the couple and asked them 3 questions.  Why did they cut contact between her and her brothers, that she had heard it was because of a lie and that she also heard that her oldest brother is still acting out because he wants to see me.   She was stern but not rude.  She had the right to ask the questions.  We stayed back and watched while getting the contact information of the other lawyers.  Their only answer was that it will be handled in court.  They had a very cornered and worried look on their face.  I can understand why.  They had counted on me not having the law on my side.  Now they realize with this new legislation they do have something to very much worry about.

We also met the counsel for my sons.  She seemed very nice.  I asked her to please go into this looking at the evidence and not peoples personal opinions.  That my sons previous lawyer was wrapped around my mothers finger not realizing the entire time my sons were being severely abuse at the time by my mother.  She said that is her job.  When I told her how contact was cut between me and my sons she was shocked.  She looked at me and said "you were not given a termination visit?"  I said no.  The last thing I said to them was I love you and will see you next week.  They were abused and/or threatened any time they mentioned me.

So all in all a very good court day.  We didn't get visits but we were expecting that.  We are glad we asked.  The review is moving forward.  I will continue to post to my blog any updates so others can learn from our experience.  We all left the court house feeling very hopeful for the first time in a long time. 

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