I just found out my mother has changed her last name again(on FB) to the last name of the guy I was told she was dating. First this would be her 6th marriage if they are married. Second he has grandkids and possibly great grandkids that she will be allowed around and possibly care for unattended. Doesn't matter that she starved kids, doesn't matter that she abused 7 kids in sickening ways, doesn't matter that she came close to killing a couple of them, doesn't matter that my son when he was 3 walked away from her care with many cigerette burns that were deep tissue burns that even a year later had not healed, doesn't matter that he also had many fading bruises healing at different rates all over his little body showing long term horrific physical abuse, doesn't matter that I can go on and on with examples of horrific physical, psychological abuse that she did to 7 children. Doesn't matter that there are 7 victims who have begged the athorities to do something and only get excuses to protect the mistakes CPS has done. She goes on to another relationship and the ability to do it to even more children. I told people once that it would take the death of one of my children before anyone believed me. My children barely escaped with their lives. And I did prove the abuse as stated by the judge and CPS at the trial in September that she did to my children. I seriously believe she will not stop or be stopped till a child dies or becomes seriously disfigured(worse then my 2nd youngest son). And when that happens it will be a day that I scream at all the agencies and police about how they ignored all the victims and continued to do nothing. They will own some of the blame for any child hurt by my mother from the day they decided to protect CPS instead of pursuing charges.
So what happened with the police case? First even though all the abuse happened in the same province the Crown decided to split the two cases and the excuse given was that they happened in two different towns. So two different jurisdictions. Which meant that even though my kids case had all the physical evidence to easily prove the abuse she committed, that evidence could not be used in the step kids or my case. Fine they could still get a conviction with that. But it also meant the step kids and my case could not be used with my kids case(which would have shown the timeline and that this was a long term, escalating thing for my mother. So my kids case would not be supported by historical evidence. Even though all the step kids and myself, and my daughter had come forward to testify along with the reports on my sons of what happened to them. The RCMP which was handling the step kids case and my case were ready to pursue charges all the way up to last month. Yup you heard that correctly. And the officer I spoke to was shocked that the police from the other town had ALL the physical evidence, records, pictures, doctors reports and so much more to PROVE the abuse. Records that I used in my trial that PROVED beyond any doubt what my mother had done to my kids. And yet were claiming they were closing the case for LACK of evidence. So let me get this straight. A nobody like me with no high school diploma, only some college classes, a stay at home mom and someone with PTSD and Agoraphobia was easily able to prove in a two week trial what she did to my kids but the professionals with all the degrees and training can't? Does that make any sense to anyone? The RCMP didn't have any of that either. They had the witness testimony of others though, not just us. The officer told me that if she had all the evidence that the other police department had that her boss would push her to arrest my mom right away and pursue a trial. She can't figure out why the RCMP have enough with just testimonies to arrest but that the police won't with all the evidence AND testimony.
So here is why. They are protecting CPS. Pressure had to come down from CPS as the crown told me that it was the cops decision whether to pursue charges or not. Yet when I talked to the officer of the other town who close the file he told me it was the crowns decision. Right. We have a case where my 3 children were being horrifically abused for 3yrs while under the watch of CPS. We have successfully proven in court in September that the abuse occurred, was ongoing and as the Social Worker stated "What we thought was happening in that home and what was truly happening in that home were two drastically different things." If my mother is convicted of the abuse of my children then that leaves CPS open to HUGE problems because my children were under their watch while she did it. That means many social workers, supervisors and higher ups getting into serious trouble. And not only do they ignore all the abuse but they actively pursued keeping my children there instead of returning them to me and then to cover up their GLARING mistakes they pursued selling my children off. Never once thinking that I would continue to fight to prove my innocence.
AND I WAS SUCCESSFUL. I have the verdict here in my home proving that FACT. Anyone now can get transcripts to the trial from September and read all the evidence, testimonies, doctor reports and so on proving what my mother did to my children. They can also read the multiple professionals that came forward to testify in our behave who have observed our parenting over a long period of time. My mother can continue to lie and manipulate people but unlike me she does not have the evidence to back up her claims. I do. I have my records, CPS's records, the verdict of this trial, anyone can get the transcripts.
My mother worked hard to make me out to be something I was not to cover up her crimes. But I have to thank her for that. Because of her constantly doing that my entire life I learned to ALWAYS keep any evidence that would show the truth. Always be able to back up my statements. My mother on the other hand, like all narcissists, have nothing to prove her claims other then her wild stories.
Last month when the RCMP called me to tell me they were ready to arrest her I told them no. Yes you read that right. I am 40yrs old now. I have 4 kids at home that need a mom full time, I have spent countless years fighting first to prove my innocence but also to get justice. I won the first part but during that trial I also learned that I will never get justice and my mother will only face justice when she kills a child or seriously disfigures one. With what the crown has done to this case to protect CPS there is little chance at a conviction and if there is one it will be a first offence so she would most likely get off with just probation. It is not worth the stress on my family. It is not worth reliving it all again and watching this truly evil person smile her sneer as she walks away to destroy more kids lives. It would be as much a slap in the face as when I proved I was innocent in September and they still sold my sons.
I survived. I AM A SURVIVOR. And if I could say something to my mother I would tell her "YOU NEVER BROKE ME! YOU NEVER SHUT ME UP! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE ABOUT YOU! AND I AM NOT ASHAMED AS I SURVIVED A MOSTER FOR A MOTHER!!
Now I am finally, for the first time in 40yrs, focusing on me. Now I am focusing on my dreams and goals. Now I am fulfilling my dream of being a mom, breeder of Service Dogs, and just seeing who I am after all this hell. I will wait for my sons to find me and learn the truth. And I will support them in what ever they want to do if they want to pursue justice for themselves. I will continue to be an advocate for change within CPS, I will continue to write and give hope to other survivors. I am NOT what she did to me or my children. I AM A SURVIVOR!
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