Monday, December 17, 2012

My Family Is Growing In So Many Ways

I know I have not updated in a while.  Left you guys hanging after giving the updates I had learned from my childrens rescuer.  What most of you readers don't know is that while I was learning all this I was also in my final trimester of pregnancy.  You read that right.  We had a beautiful baby boy at the end of October.  How cool is it that all my sons are born in the same month.  We kept this mainly to ourselves till we were sure that he would be coming home and staying with us.  And he has.  He is the light of our lives too.  He was born with a small cleft lip though and a notch in his upper gums.  So his first surgery is for next year to repair the lip and then he will have another when he is about 8 or 9 to repair the notch in his gums.  He is strong and healthy.  And thriving.  He is already 11 1/2 pounds. 

Some of you may wonder why we would have another one when I don't have my other 3 home yet.  2 reasons.  One is because I am a mom. That is who I am.  It is what makes me complete.  We wanted him in every sense of the word.  The second was because I was at a dead end when it came to trying to get my kids back.  I don't have the kind of money needed to fight another court battle.  So I thought if I could prove how things truly are with another baby over a small period of time then I might have a chance to bring my children home because I would be showing that our home is safe and not what the lies of my mother made so many in power believe.  Those are the reasons why.  He was not to replace my children in any way, shape or form.  He was/is wanted and so are my other 3 children.

Now the original plan was, since we knew about the cleft lip, to wait till our son was born, go to his 2 week evaluation at the childrens hospital and then contact social services about setting up visitation with my other 3 children and hopefully be considered for them to come home.  Well it didn't quite go that way.  Our son was born but a week shy of us going to the childrens hospital my daughter sent me a facebook message.  Yup you read that right too.  My daughter contacted me.  What a day that was.  I was so happy, worried about her and so many other emotions.  She and her brothers are in seperate foster homes but she says they get to see each other ever other week.  They are also under an adoption worker who is trying to place them.  And yes I have spoken to her.  My daughter says she will refuse any adoption for her.  She is in a wonderful foster home and her foster mom is very nice.  Fully supporting her contact with me.  Though once Social Services found out they stopped the nightly chats to just once a week, saying that is better for my daughters emotional state till we are evaluated.  Neither she or I are happy about it but it is better then the no contact.

I was able to mail their birthday gifts to the adoption worker and know my daughter got hers. I have no idea if my sons have recieved theirs.  No contact is allowed right now with my sons.  The adoption worker is firm in their stance that they are being place with a family for adoption and that contact with me could hinder that.  I am doing my best to convince them to allow contact.  Even mailed off all their Christmas Presents today.  This week an adoption person from our city is coming to our home to evaluate us to see if Facebook contact with my daughter will continue to be allowed.  So keep us in your thoughts that the meeting will go well. 
When we got pregnant we immediately contacted a local community support program that helps families in having healthy homes, parenting advice, community outreach programs and so on.  They are in our home weekly at our request.  We did this to be able to show our home is safe, healthy and we are good parents.  That being home with us is what is best for our new baby but also for my other 3 children as well.  Our home is big enough easily. 

So that is where we stand right now with my kids and social services.  As far as social services are concerned they won the trial and that is the end of it.  They don't care that they now have all the proof that they need that they won because of lies.  They don't care that it is now easily proven that the children at their choice were being kept with a sever abuser who pulled the wool over all their eyes, keeping my children from me and harming them in so many ways.  They don't care.  As far as they are concerned they won the trial and own my children.  And will place them in an adoptive home as soon as possible.  I want them home with me but I do not know what to do to get that to happen.  I don't even know how to make it so I can just see my sons.  I have since learned that they can be adopted out to different homes and if the adoptive parents choose to change their names and refuse them contact with me or even each other ever agian that they can legally do that.  They could end up never seeing each other agian unless they can find each other as adults.  Where is the justice in any of this?  Please message me if you, the reader, can think of any way to bring them home.

My dad(step dad) is also very happy to be a grandparent.  They sent a wonderful package of clothes for our new son.  I am loving being a daughter agian and a mom agian.  But my life will never be complete till all my children are in my life agian.  Please if you can, help bring them home and end this dark time for all of us once and for all.

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