Today, which also happens to be my partners birthday, and ironically my mothers birthday as well, is the long awaited day for all of us. WE BROUGHT MY DAUGHTER HOME!!! Not for a visit, but for good. Some wonderful friends watched my youngest son for the day while we did the drove the 2 hours away to pick her up and all her stuff.
The day was overcast and raining most of the way but our spirits soared as my partner and I sang and laughed our way to our daughter. Nothing could darken our day today. We drove up to the home and I walked to the door. She smiled and waved to us from the window, then invited us inside. We chatted with her foster caregiver for a few minutes, loaded up her things and then hugs were shared. I thanked her caregiver for watching over her for us. Then we all loaded up into the truck and away we went. On towards home.
We laughed, we sang, we chatted all the way home. It finally was sinking in for all of us that she was home for good. My partner dropped us off and then took the car to get our little guy. My daughter and I unloaded the truck and got her things downstairs. As soon as my partner and son got back our little guy saw his big sister and grinned. Then went running towards her, shoving the dogs out of his way as his sister picked him up and hugged him tight.
Finally my first born was home. 6 years after this all began, through countless horrors, more emotional pain then any one she bare, through lies and loss, through many telling us to give up. She is home. Our family is one member stronger. Many times each of us wondered if this day would come. Some times I was scared to even hope. But I had made a promise. A promise that any loving mother would make and never break. To never give up on her children. To never give up on bringing them home.
We rose above it. Our abuser wanted to tear us apart. Knowing that would cause us emotional devastation that would last a lifetime. We will never get the past 6yrs back but she did not succeed in her goal. We over came. We survived and we are even closer now with a better understanding of each other as mother and daughter. We are no longer her victim in any way. We are survivors. We are a family forever and always.
So please cheer with us. MY DAUGHTER IS HOME!!!!
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Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Guilty Until Proven Innocent
I always found it ironic how so many view the families who have had their children removed by CPS. Automatically they are view as having done something wrong. Automatically they are guilt of a crime. No trial, no jury, and in many cases NO EVIDENCE. But regardless of that they are guilty of a very serious crime and they receive their sentence immediately. A life sentence for them and for their family.
Think about it. How does society react when a child is abducted by a total stranger? The parents are usually investigated first and if no EVIDENCE is found then they are given help by the police. The family receives support by the community. If the parents break down crying they are supported, understood, they are seen as in the grieving process. If they contact the media for help it is seen as them working towards trying to find their child. Then as time goes on people rally behind them to help them find their children, help return them home. If the parents seek therapy to deal with their grief and emotions people view them as doing what they need too to keep on moving forward. If the child is found, even 10yrs later, they are reunited with their family, given supports to help them adjust. They are celebrated for being strong and never giving up. The person who abducted the child is then imprisoned.
Now flip that to CPS legally kidnapping a child. Someone is angry at another person, for what ever reason and makes a call to CPS with a false allegation. In many cases CPS then comes to the home with police and remove the child. I am not kidding here. No evidence, no investigation, no trial. Nothing. Just an angry vengeful person making an allegation and that parent is then seen as automatically guilty depending on the social worker. The parent has no recourse. They can't go to police because even police can be judgemental as soon as they hear CPS is involved. They will just tell you to go work with CPS. So what can the parent do if that social worker is not honest or doesn't really care about their job or the people they are supposedly suppose to help? If you are someone below the poverty line there is not much you can do. You can't turn to your community. As soon as most people in the community hear about CPS involvement they immediately think you did something wrong. It is the old adage of "CPS never takes children without a reason." Sadly this statement has made things ten times harder for the average person fighting against a system designed to make money off of children. If the parents break down emotionally from being torn from their children they are then seen as emotionally unstable. If they try to be strong and not show emotion for fear of it being turned against them then they are seen as emotionally distant. They can't turn to the media to help prove their innocence or to show any corruption being done because of strict laws protecting CPS. They can't seek therapy for fear it will also be used against them to show they are unstable to the point of needing therapy. In many cases children have no contact with their parents, siblings or so on for a long time. Contact is cut for not reason traumatizing the children and the parents. Causing long term damage to all involved. And if you think a lawyer can help think again. Many people CPS deals with are low income. The only lawyers they can get are legal aid. And many legal aid lawyers won't fight against CPS and will urge you to just sign over your parental rights. And if too much time elapses then the parent can still lose their children even if they prove their innocence. With the claim that the children have bonded to their caregivers so it would be detrimental to their mental well being to remove them. Yet this was never considered when they were torn from their parents.
Parents can and do lose complete custody of their children based solely on allegations. Unfounded allegations. Not only are they fighting the government who is suppose to protect them, but they are going through all the same horrors that parents of a kidnapped child is going through with none of the supports those parents receive. And if you try and say it is different because the parents know where their kids are, think again. Children die in CPS care. In my province alone over 700 children have died while under CPS jurisdiction in the past 14yrs. And that number does not include the HIGH rate of abuse of every kind that happens while in the foster system. Rarely are the police ever involved when children are abused while in care even if CPS has proof of it. This I know for a FACT. Then add to the fact that the parents know that if they can't fight the allegations, even when CPS has no proof, they have the added terrifying worry that their children will be adopted out to another couple. Given away to someone like some type of pet. If this happens their child's name can be changed and there is a very good chance they could never see their child again.
This is the reality of the system. I do believe CPS is needed. There are cases where they very much need to step in and help the children. But in reality you CAN lose your children permanently base just on a phone call from someone angry at you. No evidence needed. So next time you hear of someone fighting CPS for their kids please try to realize that if may not be as simple as the above saying leads you to believe. Instead of judging that person maybe try and give support or learn the truth. People are now realizing the truth in my situation and the emotional support I am now receiving is helping me to continue my fight to bring my children home. People who truly have done nothing wrong want people to see their evidence. They want the truth out there.
When one side is banned from making things public to seek help, or has all doors shut in their face because of stigma it really makes it difficult to determine the truth or to see justice served. And while that is happening the children continue to suffer and even die while the parents in many cases are in an emotional prison feeling like they have no options.
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Think about it. How does society react when a child is abducted by a total stranger? The parents are usually investigated first and if no EVIDENCE is found then they are given help by the police. The family receives support by the community. If the parents break down crying they are supported, understood, they are seen as in the grieving process. If they contact the media for help it is seen as them working towards trying to find their child. Then as time goes on people rally behind them to help them find their children, help return them home. If the parents seek therapy to deal with their grief and emotions people view them as doing what they need too to keep on moving forward. If the child is found, even 10yrs later, they are reunited with their family, given supports to help them adjust. They are celebrated for being strong and never giving up. The person who abducted the child is then imprisoned.
Now flip that to CPS legally kidnapping a child. Someone is angry at another person, for what ever reason and makes a call to CPS with a false allegation. In many cases CPS then comes to the home with police and remove the child. I am not kidding here. No evidence, no investigation, no trial. Nothing. Just an angry vengeful person making an allegation and that parent is then seen as automatically guilty depending on the social worker. The parent has no recourse. They can't go to police because even police can be judgemental as soon as they hear CPS is involved. They will just tell you to go work with CPS. So what can the parent do if that social worker is not honest or doesn't really care about their job or the people they are supposedly suppose to help? If you are someone below the poverty line there is not much you can do. You can't turn to your community. As soon as most people in the community hear about CPS involvement they immediately think you did something wrong. It is the old adage of "CPS never takes children without a reason." Sadly this statement has made things ten times harder for the average person fighting against a system designed to make money off of children. If the parents break down emotionally from being torn from their children they are then seen as emotionally unstable. If they try to be strong and not show emotion for fear of it being turned against them then they are seen as emotionally distant. They can't turn to the media to help prove their innocence or to show any corruption being done because of strict laws protecting CPS. They can't seek therapy for fear it will also be used against them to show they are unstable to the point of needing therapy. In many cases children have no contact with their parents, siblings or so on for a long time. Contact is cut for not reason traumatizing the children and the parents. Causing long term damage to all involved. And if you think a lawyer can help think again. Many people CPS deals with are low income. The only lawyers they can get are legal aid. And many legal aid lawyers won't fight against CPS and will urge you to just sign over your parental rights. And if too much time elapses then the parent can still lose their children even if they prove their innocence. With the claim that the children have bonded to their caregivers so it would be detrimental to their mental well being to remove them. Yet this was never considered when they were torn from their parents.
Parents can and do lose complete custody of their children based solely on allegations. Unfounded allegations. Not only are they fighting the government who is suppose to protect them, but they are going through all the same horrors that parents of a kidnapped child is going through with none of the supports those parents receive. And if you try and say it is different because the parents know where their kids are, think again. Children die in CPS care. In my province alone over 700 children have died while under CPS jurisdiction in the past 14yrs. And that number does not include the HIGH rate of abuse of every kind that happens while in the foster system. Rarely are the police ever involved when children are abused while in care even if CPS has proof of it. This I know for a FACT. Then add to the fact that the parents know that if they can't fight the allegations, even when CPS has no proof, they have the added terrifying worry that their children will be adopted out to another couple. Given away to someone like some type of pet. If this happens their child's name can be changed and there is a very good chance they could never see their child again.
This is the reality of the system. I do believe CPS is needed. There are cases where they very much need to step in and help the children. But in reality you CAN lose your children permanently base just on a phone call from someone angry at you. No evidence needed. So next time you hear of someone fighting CPS for their kids please try to realize that if may not be as simple as the above saying leads you to believe. Instead of judging that person maybe try and give support or learn the truth. People are now realizing the truth in my situation and the emotional support I am now receiving is helping me to continue my fight to bring my children home. People who truly have done nothing wrong want people to see their evidence. They want the truth out there.
When one side is banned from making things public to seek help, or has all doors shut in their face because of stigma it really makes it difficult to determine the truth or to see justice served. And while that is happening the children continue to suffer and even die while the parents in many cases are in an emotional prison feeling like they have no options.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2014
My Son's PGO Will Be Reviewed
First sorry to all our followers that I have not updated in so many months. There are so many things going on right now, still can't mention most of them till the final steps are taken but I can mention this.
We just found out 2 weeks ago about a new legislation in our province. It came into effect January of this year. It is called the Children's First Act:
http://humanservices.alberta.ca/16594.html
In all that towards the bottom it reads "Increase access to justice by allowing children under 12 to appeal court orders made under the Child, Youth and Family Enhancement Act, and allowing parents and guardians to apply for a review of a permanent guardianship order.
We just found out 2 weeks ago about a new legislation in our province. It came into effect January of this year. It is called the Children's First Act:
http://humanservices.alberta.ca/16594.html
In all that towards the bottom it reads "Increase access to justice by allowing children under 12 to appeal court orders made under the Child, Youth and Family Enhancement Act, and allowing parents and guardians to apply for a review of a permanent guardianship order.
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