Wednesday, May 22, 2013

THe House Inspection that was Not a House Inspection

Well all I can say is that was interesting last night. First our Community Support worker arrived at 6:30. She walked the house and as far as she could tell it was clean and safe. Then we all waited for my daughters social worker to arrive. She arrived a few minutes late which we expected since it sounded like she was not in our city often. We made the introductions between her and our Community Support worker. Then we showed her the house. She didn't make any comments on the house or it's set up. We then went into the livingroom and all sat down and then she said this is not the house inspection. This was just for her to meet us here to see the place and us prior to allowing supervised visits for my daughter. She said that we would have to go through a home safety check before any unsupervised visits could happen. We said that is not a problem because the whole house had passed when we had regular visits with my sons here. She seemed confused at that point.

She then handed me some papers to sign up for the Post Adoption Registry. So that when the adoption is finalized if the adopting family agrees then messages to my sons, gifts and so on would go through the registry and not through Children Services since they would no longer be registered with Childrens Services at that point. She agian refused to give me the new workers information stating that the new worker has not yet been informed that I am involved and trying to get them back. So then I stated that "shouldn't they be?" and she commented "Do you want her to be?" Like it has ever been my choice. I said of course. I also stated that the adopting family should also be made aware that I am fighting this and wanting my sons back. She then stated that they didn't think I wanted them told. I never said that ever. They never gave me a choice. They always stated that I was not going to stop this adoption so they were not going to tell them till it was finalized. Instead she is now putting it all on me. I told her they should be told because then they can make an educated decision about whether they really want to get in the middle of this fight with a mother who will not give up. I said I feel bad for the family who wants them because they obviously want a family, she smiled then, and then I said but since no one is telling them the full history and what is going on they are being set up for heart break.

She then stated that she wished I had shown interest in my sons sooner. Agian trying to put it on me. And I pointed out that I had been trying to contact workers and so on for 2 years only to be ignored, letters and gifts sent back. Showing her where the real blame lies. But she acted like it didn't matter agian stating that once the paperwork is done that my sons will be legally their sons and not my children any more. I told her that no piece of paper would stop my sons from being my sons or make them someone elses. She just smiled at me like I was an idiot.

I asked about my daughter having contact with her brothers if the adoption is finalized and she affirmed that that is totally up to the adopting family and they can stop it at any time. I stated how that was just wrong because they grew up together and she said there was a reason they ended up in care and the PGO being granted. I pointed out that yes there was reason that I needed "HELP". That I should have been given help not had my children removed. She said that is not what the file states. And I said I could just imagine what the file states. I pointed out that their own psychologist passed me with the parental assessment, testified on the stand that the medication and the abuse I was suffering from my spouse is what caused me to bomb the first parental assessment and is why when all that was resolved I passed. She said that was not her understaing of the file. That what she knows and what I am stating is two different things. And I said yes I know. The difference is all their file is full of is peoples opinions and proven false accusations. That I had something that carries more weight. Actual evidence. That if I can get just one unbias judge to look at the evidence that the PGO would be over turned and if that happens that the adoption would then be overturned. I told her peoples words do not carry as much weight as photos, videos, audio recodings, emails and so on that can and will show purjury and not just on my mothers part but also on their own social workers part. She said she hoped I didn't get my hopes up but that she hoped some day my daughter could come home. Talk about a total about face now that she no longer has my sons file. For months it has been that I am living in a fantasy world to think my daughter and sons will come home and now it is that she hopes that sometime in the future she can? I told her it is not a matter of if for all of them it is a matter of when. She then stated that I was to do what I thought I had to do. That she would also fight as hard as she could to get her kids back if she was in my place because that is what a mom should do but she alluded to the fact that it was too little too late.

So all in all that was how it went. I hate how they talk about my children like they are a litter of puppies that they proudly rescued and rehomed instead of children stolen from their mother because of a vindictive abuser.

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