Tuesday, November 26, 2013

We Acknowledge What We Want To Acknowledge

This is something I have learned about the majority of workers I have dealt with since this all began.  That they will only acknowledge what they want to.  Everything else does not exist.  Today I heard back from my sons worker.  You would think I would be happy about that.  Communication can't be a bad thing, right?  Wrong.  Lack of acknowledging things and twisting them to suit what you want to be can be very frustrating. 

Originally she asked to have time to go through the file.  I thought that was fair and told her I would email her a week later to see what head way had been made.  In every email I sent though I stated my request for my children to have phone contact and physical contact.  Stating each time that with the b-days and Christmas that they should be allowed to see each other.  Especially since communication was cut between them for no reason.  None.  And even more important my daughter was promised by the workers AND the people who my sons were placed with that contact would NEVER be cut between them.  Then within in a few months that is exactly what they did with no reasoning given.  So over and over I stated my request for them to get a chance to see each other along with phone contact. I also stated in each email my request to have contact as well.  And the previous one my request for pictures.  I emailed a week later like I had stated.  No response.  So two days later I emailed again.  Again no response.  So today I was going to email again(4 days after the last one).This is what I received today:

"To bring you up to speed I have started to familiarize myself with your children’s files but still am nowhere close to having all the information. I can tell you I am scheduled to meet with my supervisor on Dec 16 to discuss a number of cases I have; it will be at this meeting where I will discuss your request for up dated pictures of the boys and telephone contact between the boys and your daughter. After my meeting with I hopefully will have some further answers to provide to you."

That is it.  No mention of anything else.  No mention of my repeated request for contact, no mention of my repeated requests for them to see each other.  Nothing.  No mention of any of the other things I mention either in that email.  This is what it is like to deal with the majority of workers.  And a huge difference in how things seem to be with my daughters new worker.  This is what I received at my last email communication with her(She had not responded to me in about 2 months hence the apology):

"Sooo Sorry!!
 Wish I could let you know all the icky stuff that’s been preventing me from answering my e-mails.  I will reframe it by saying that I was 100% confident that things were going well and that you didn’t “need” me for a while.  I’m very glad that the visits are going so well and that she is becoming involved in the community and making friends in your city.  That is perfect and wonderful transitioning!"
See the difference.  She got to know the file and seriously read it.  She then met with me and saw me and my partner for what we really are and saw the situation for what it really was.  She went on to answer all my questions and discussed ways for handling some issues I brought up.  She also talked about things we are doing to prepare for my daughter moving home and for the PGO to be thrown out or ended.  So far I am being pleasantly surprised with just how open and helpful that my daughters worker is being.  I wish we had had a worker like that from the beginning.  My children would have been home long ago and the PGO would have never happened.
So my response back to my sons workers was reminding her of my other requests, letting her know that I am disappointed in how long this was taking to get contact happening when it should never have been cut in the first place.  I gave her the contact number to my community support worker and her name and let her know I had signed a release for her to talk to her.  I also told her that my daughters worker was trying to contact her and she should also get a hold of her as well. I told her I would email her again in 2 days to see what came of those phone calls.  Then I reminded her that it is the holidays and it is suppose to be about families and that my children should at the very least(like I had stated multiple times before) be able to see each other and visit each other during those holidays. 
I am so sick of how long this is taking.  It has been 3 yrs since I last saw my sons.  4 yrs since they had last all been together with me for a holiday.  I hope our Christmas miracle will happen this Christmas and that we will all be reunited, even if it is just for a visit for now.  Please keep us in your thoughts that our Christmas miracle will happen.

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