Happy birthday my son. I miss you more then words can say. I am so sorry I missed another of your birthdays. I hope you got to have a good day today but I know in your heart and mine you would have preferred to be here to celebrate your 9th birthday.
We celebrated you today. We held a party for you in your honor even though you were not here. We had a Transformers themed party. Your sister was here for it. We had transformers decorations thanks to a wonderful party supplier from our city who donated a few items and provided some wonderful decorations, transformer presents, and even had the movie transformers on. Your cake even was a transformers theme. Decorated by your sister. She so badly wanted to talk to you today. She even emailed the people who have you begging them to let her call on this special day. She didn't get a response. She and I were so disappointed. The people who had you promised they would never cut contact between you three and that is just what has happened. It was not a choice that your sister has made. It is one that Children's Services and the people who have you are forcing on all of you. I wish it was different. And some day it will be. I even emailed your worker and her supervisor several times over the past month and a half begging for your sister to be allowed contact and asking where to send your presents. I got no response.
I know this has got to be so hard for you. None of you have deserved any of this. But I am not giving up. I will never stop fighting for you to come home to be with your brothers and sister. We never gave up and now there is a plan for your sister to come home this coming summer. I am hoping that you will be home in this next coming year as well.
You can see the video of your party here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=p.10201210905373586&type=3
You can see the pictures here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.532900460136851.1073741856.460110254082539&type=3&uploaded=7
Your sister wrote a message for you as well that she wanted me to post here: "My oldest little brother turned nine today, yet I wasn't even able to wish him happy birthday. I have decided to put my thoughts to him here.
Oh my brother, I remember when you were just a little thing, only a few days old. You were adorable then, but you are handsome now.
You got excited when you found out that you were a big brother when our little brother was born, a few days after your 3rd birthday.
I am sorry to say that it was that February that we moved to our grandmother's place.
You were so cheerful, and full of energy. You were eager to make new friends and never have enemies. Every person loved you. You never gave up, and I thank you for that.
I have never told you this, but it is because of you that I am alive today. Had you and our brother not been there, I would have given up and stabbed myself. You are truly a lifesaver to me.
I wish I am there with you right now, celebrating another year of your life, I am sorry that I am not. I hope that one day our whole family will be together once more. We will never stop fighting for you and our brother to come home.
Happy ninth birthday my brother, I hope that it was a great one."
There are other messages that friends have written to you on your special day:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE ONE!!!"
"Happy B-day little guy, wish you to come back to your mom, to your family"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!Bersi (green collar) sends lots of licks and tail wags for you."
"Happy Birthday! I hope you find out real soon how much your mom loves you and wants you all home with her."
"Happy Birthday! Your mom loves you very much and is doing everything she can to bring you home again!"
"Happy birthday, so sorry u cant be with your real familly on your special day, ive never met your mommy but i know she loves u both loads and would do anything to be with u both on your special day xxx
You are loved by so many by wonderful son. I hope to never miss another birthday. I love you
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Saturday, October 12, 2013
Why Did You Abuse Me? A Poem By My Daughter
Why Did You Abuse Me?
Why do you hurt me
when I did nothing wrong?
Why do you treat me
worse then a wild dog?
Why do you say to me
that I am worthless?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why do you make me
become your slave?
Why do you keep me
when I am hated?
Why do you hate me
when I don't hate you?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why can't you forgive me
for a simple mistake?
Why can't you help me
when I serve you?
Why can't you love me,
when I once loved you?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why did you trap me,
like an animal?
Why did you keep me
while I wanted to leave?
Why did you hold me
while I was your slave?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why did you break me
when I couldn't be broken?
Why did you brainwash me
so I was yours?
Why did you torture me
when my heart hurt?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
You didn't stop me.
I've healed my wounds.
You didn't scare me.
I am no longer afraid.
You didn't affect me.
I have won the battle.
Without you I succeeded.
I am running and leading!
I am living my future.
You are the failure,
and I despise you.
I am now FREE!
My daughter read us this poem last night after we picked her up. She had wrote it to get her questions to her abuser(my mother) out of her head and on to paper but also to express her feelings to give others courage. She is 14 and an inspiration to me.
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Why do you hurt me
when I did nothing wrong?
Why do you treat me
worse then a wild dog?
Why do you say to me
that I am worthless?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why do you make me
become your slave?
Why do you keep me
when I am hated?
Why do you hate me
when I don't hate you?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why can't you forgive me
for a simple mistake?
Why can't you help me
when I serve you?
Why can't you love me,
when I once loved you?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why did you trap me,
like an animal?
Why did you keep me
while I wanted to leave?
Why did you hold me
while I was your slave?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
Why did you break me
when I couldn't be broken?
Why did you brainwash me
so I was yours?
Why did you torture me
when my heart hurt?
Without you I can,
I will succeed.
I won't stop running,
I will lead.
I will show you
I have a future!
You didn't stop me.
I've healed my wounds.
You didn't scare me.
I am no longer afraid.
You didn't affect me.
I have won the battle.
Without you I succeeded.
I am running and leading!
I am living my future.
You are the failure,
and I despise you.
I am now FREE!
My daughter read us this poem last night after we picked her up. She had wrote it to get her questions to her abuser(my mother) out of her head and on to paper but also to express her feelings to give others courage. She is 14 and an inspiration to me.
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Wednesday, October 9, 2013
"Your File Was Mishandled"
What a day. Got to meet my daughters new worker in person today and another person she works with as well. They seem nice. We talked for close to 2 1/2 hours. I went in with the attitude that I am willing to work with them but I want the truth out there. I let her know right at the beginning that I do not trust social workers. That I do believe there are good honest social workers out there and I do believe that CPS is needed. BUT that I also believe that good workers are few and far between and that CPS needs to be reformed. She basically said that after reading my file she can understand why I feel the way I do.
She let me know she and another person(not sure if it was a supervisor or a worker) both went through my entire file together and they could see where so much had been mishandled, misinformed and misunderstood. She also said our time line for things coincided with what was in the file for my mother. She said that where we pin point where the abuse started against my kids from my mother matched where the workers were observing my mothers behavior changing towards my kids and towards workers and others she worked with in the department. That they were notice strange behaviors. She also acknowledged that complaints against my mother were not handled properly as well. She also acknowledged that I had done everything asked of me and then some. That she could go on and on about the things we did right. She said we did everything asked and how the case was handled was not how she would have handled it at all. She could see all I needed was guidance and help but that I was not getting any yet still I did all that I should.
I feel so angry. Not towards this worker. She is the first worker I have met who has honestly looked at my file and acknowledged that this was mismanaged. But what do I do with that. I have lost 5yrs of my kids lives because of people not doing their jobs. FIVE YEARS!!!! I have lost 5yrs with my kids because of lies, people refusing to look at the whole picture. What do I do with that? 2 of my children are placed with another family to try and cover up the blatant mismanagement of this case.
So what now? Are they offering me my kids back because they screwed up? There is a tentative plan in place for my daughter to move home this summer to start grade ten here at home with us. Tentative. This is another thing that was confirmed. I told the worker how the previous adoption worker told me last November/December(before my sons were placed with a family) that PGO's are rarely overturned. Well this worker let us know it happens a lot more then people think. In fact it is one of the considerations for my daughter. They gave us 3 tentative plans.
1) my daughter moves home and after a period of observation the PGO can be ended and the file closed.
2) my daughter moves home and she stays PGO till she is 18 and they can offer us some money for her care.
3) she can move home and live here like an independent living situation(roommates type thing) where they pay for her lodging and so on but the PGO is not as much in place and the file is not closed.
Hmmmmm I don't want their money. So the last two hold no appeal to me. I want my daughter home and the PGO ended. I let her know that ending the PGO would show there is no longer a concern and the concerns that had caused them to go into care where addressed and gone. This would help towards overturning the PGO of my sons.
I have 0 interest in their money. I have enough to support all my kids. No amount of money will replace the 5yrs of hell we have all been through. No amount of money will fix the emotional, physical turmoil we have all been through and continue to go through. The only thing that will begin to fix this is all my children returning home and a huge apology from CPS to my entire family for the severe damage and abuse that they were a part of and helped to continue to force us to endure. Maybe then we can start to all heal. Not before. This new worker is making a good first step.
She said there is very little she could suggest for us to do. I out right asked her what she needed us to do and that is what she told us. We discussed the therapy plans are when she moves home, we discussed the plans to help her get more life skills, we discussed how to get my daughter to open up more and trust people. I let them know they are dealing with the repercussions of all the workers who ignored my daughters pleas for help, all the workers who kept returning her to her abuser, all the people who ignored her when she tried to open up. That now my daughter no longer just trusts. People have to gain it. We discussed some of the abuse my daughter endured and how that can be causing behaviors and how we should work together to help her.
We also talked about the consequences to all my children of people cutting contact between them. That my oldest son made it perfectly clear when they cut contact with me that he was not happy with it and it was emotionally devastating to him by becoming violent. Instead of people opening up their eyes and seeing the truth behind his behavior they just continued to ignore him. Then they place him with a family with his brother and cut contact with his sister too. He continues to get more violent. When will this torture of my family stop? When will the public cry out and say enough is enough? One of the things I stated was a criminal can over turn a conviction based on a technicality or new evidence. Yet my children and myself have a life sentence even though there is evidence of perjury, workers admitting to misinformation and mishandling of my case and so much more that I can't go into yet. YET! WHY does a criminal have more rights then a child and a mother? A mother who never abused her children.
My hope is that this year is the last year I miss my sons b-day. I hope this year is the last year that I go without their laughter and messy fingers dipping into things at thanksgiving. Help my sons and daughter return home. We don't deserve to be separated. Their rooms are ready and waiting. Help us make this next year the one where we are all together again and the healing start.
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She let me know she and another person(not sure if it was a supervisor or a worker) both went through my entire file together and they could see where so much had been mishandled, misinformed and misunderstood. She also said our time line for things coincided with what was in the file for my mother. She said that where we pin point where the abuse started against my kids from my mother matched where the workers were observing my mothers behavior changing towards my kids and towards workers and others she worked with in the department. That they were notice strange behaviors. She also acknowledged that complaints against my mother were not handled properly as well. She also acknowledged that I had done everything asked of me and then some. That she could go on and on about the things we did right. She said we did everything asked and how the case was handled was not how she would have handled it at all. She could see all I needed was guidance and help but that I was not getting any yet still I did all that I should.
I feel so angry. Not towards this worker. She is the first worker I have met who has honestly looked at my file and acknowledged that this was mismanaged. But what do I do with that. I have lost 5yrs of my kids lives because of people not doing their jobs. FIVE YEARS!!!! I have lost 5yrs with my kids because of lies, people refusing to look at the whole picture. What do I do with that? 2 of my children are placed with another family to try and cover up the blatant mismanagement of this case.
So what now? Are they offering me my kids back because they screwed up? There is a tentative plan in place for my daughter to move home this summer to start grade ten here at home with us. Tentative. This is another thing that was confirmed. I told the worker how the previous adoption worker told me last November/December(before my sons were placed with a family) that PGO's are rarely overturned. Well this worker let us know it happens a lot more then people think. In fact it is one of the considerations for my daughter. They gave us 3 tentative plans.
1) my daughter moves home and after a period of observation the PGO can be ended and the file closed.
2) my daughter moves home and she stays PGO till she is 18 and they can offer us some money for her care.
3) she can move home and live here like an independent living situation(roommates type thing) where they pay for her lodging and so on but the PGO is not as much in place and the file is not closed.
Hmmmmm I don't want their money. So the last two hold no appeal to me. I want my daughter home and the PGO ended. I let her know that ending the PGO would show there is no longer a concern and the concerns that had caused them to go into care where addressed and gone. This would help towards overturning the PGO of my sons.
I have 0 interest in their money. I have enough to support all my kids. No amount of money will replace the 5yrs of hell we have all been through. No amount of money will fix the emotional, physical turmoil we have all been through and continue to go through. The only thing that will begin to fix this is all my children returning home and a huge apology from CPS to my entire family for the severe damage and abuse that they were a part of and helped to continue to force us to endure. Maybe then we can start to all heal. Not before. This new worker is making a good first step.
She said there is very little she could suggest for us to do. I out right asked her what she needed us to do and that is what she told us. We discussed the therapy plans are when she moves home, we discussed the plans to help her get more life skills, we discussed how to get my daughter to open up more and trust people. I let them know they are dealing with the repercussions of all the workers who ignored my daughters pleas for help, all the workers who kept returning her to her abuser, all the people who ignored her when she tried to open up. That now my daughter no longer just trusts. People have to gain it. We discussed some of the abuse my daughter endured and how that can be causing behaviors and how we should work together to help her.
We also talked about the consequences to all my children of people cutting contact between them. That my oldest son made it perfectly clear when they cut contact with me that he was not happy with it and it was emotionally devastating to him by becoming violent. Instead of people opening up their eyes and seeing the truth behind his behavior they just continued to ignore him. Then they place him with a family with his brother and cut contact with his sister too. He continues to get more violent. When will this torture of my family stop? When will the public cry out and say enough is enough? One of the things I stated was a criminal can over turn a conviction based on a technicality or new evidence. Yet my children and myself have a life sentence even though there is evidence of perjury, workers admitting to misinformation and mishandling of my case and so much more that I can't go into yet. YET! WHY does a criminal have more rights then a child and a mother? A mother who never abused her children.
My hope is that this year is the last year I miss my sons b-day. I hope this year is the last year that I go without their laughter and messy fingers dipping into things at thanksgiving. Help my sons and daughter return home. We don't deserve to be separated. Their rooms are ready and waiting. Help us make this next year the one where we are all together again and the healing start.
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Thursday, October 3, 2013
You Can Cut Siblings From Their Lives But Not From Their Minds
Well as my regular readers can see, my sons b-days are fast approaching. I have everything for their b-days except communication with their worker. There has been no communication with her. I have sent 4 emails in the past 4 weeks and have not gotten even one reply back. This is what I have been sending:
"This is email #4 addressing this matter. I am emailing you, since you are my sons worker, about concerns my daughter has. She has made repeated requests to her previous worker, foster caregiver and even to her advocate to have phone contact and visits with her brothers. She has made these requests all spring and summer only to be bypassed or refused for some reason or another. Now she is being told that she is not allowed to even call them. She has not been allowed to call them since late spring. She is being told by her foster caregiver that she must first email the people who have her brothers to ask permission. This email must be approved first by the foster caregiver. She is very upset that she was promised that contact between her and her brothers would never be stopped and now that is exactly what is happening. She wants to have at least one call a week and at least a few visits a year. They are siblings and have a bond that it seems everyone is trying to break. This can be very negative mentally on all of them if contact is cut. It can be akin to suffering a death of a sibling and can have long lasting affects. So I am making this request through you since all her avenues seem to be blocked. Could you please request of the family who has my sons to call and have weekly contact between them? This would be greatly appreciated. My daughters new worker says she is also trying to contact you about this issue.
I also would like to know if I send birthday gifts to my sons if they will be given to my sons along with the address of where to send them. Last year I sent b-day and Christmas gifts to them only to learn later that they were left on a workers shelf and not given to them. We have their birthday gifts and would like to send them but don't want them sitting on a self. I would appreciate you communicating with me on this matter. My oldest sons 9th b-day is coming up in less then 2 weeks. So would appreciate a prompt reply. THank you.
Awaiting your reply"
I have even tried calling and all I get is her voice mail, which is full, stating that she is away for part of August. It is now October and still nothing. So I emailed the workers supervisor this morning. I am not the least bit surprised. This is what has gone on with just about every single worker I have dealt with. They will ignore calls, emails and so on and then claim that I am the one refusing communication. Then I get questioned later, on why I suddenly want contact when all along I am being ignore. And while all this is going on my sons are thinking that I have abandoned them or no longer love them. And I can't imagine what it must be like for them losing their sister as well. Especially since studies show that it can have long term negative effects.
http://cswr.columbia.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/2006_vol4_pg17_sheehan.pdf
"Siblings placed separately may show more aggression and be more depressedthan children who are placed with siblings (Smith, 1998). These two factors
may be related in that children who have fewer interpersonal skills may
experience greater conflict while together and then more aggression or
depression when separated from their siblings."
grief, anger and acting out, anxiety, developmental setbacks (especially
in identity formation), and depression (Tarren-Sweeney & Hazell, 2005;
Herrick & Piccus, 2005)."
experiencing the death of a parent or sibling. Many children in foster care
experience multiple losses, which include the loss of parents, of home, of
siblings, of school, of peers, and of their role within the family system.
These losses are seldom acknowledged by others, leaving the children with
disenfranchised, or, as Boss (1999) terms it, ambiguous grief; this is a grief
that has no name, no rituals, and sometimes no end. DeVita-Raeburn (2004)
warns that such losses, unacknowledged by others, can create a life of ennui
ranging from strained relationships and dissatisfaction to self-destructive oreven suicidal behaviors."
My oldest son has shown this to be true. He became violent when they cut me out of his life and then has become progressively worse. The family who has them knows that the root cause is that he wants me. He has stated that after one of his melt downs. But did they even attempt to contact me? No. And now they are not even aiding in communication between his sister and both of them. And this is suppose to be a family that cares about him?
Come on. These are not puppies. You can't take them from all they know and love, give them a new family and tell them to forget everything and just love the new family. Even if they are nice people. Children don't work that way. Just because the people who has them want to pretend that they are their sons and that they have no other siblings; does not mean that is what my sons will do, feel or think. You can't just erase their memories, their hopes, their dreams. If they truly care for my sons they would contact at the very least their sister to keep that communication open. But they are not.
Back in the spring my daughters foster caregiver asked me if she could give the blog address and the facebook page with the pictures and videos to the family who has my sons. I said yes. She let me know she did. She even let me know that they did not like the fact that the pictures of my middle son when my mother had him in a starved condition(2 1/2 yrs old and 25lbs when he should have been at least 35lbs based on his height and age). So if what the foster caregiver has said to me is true then they know what is going on. And they are choosing to ignore the very important emotional needs of my two sons whom they claim they care about. Between the workers refusal to communicate and the people who have my sons refusal to consider the long term impact of cutting my childrens ties not just with me but with my daughter, even with my daughters new worker admitting in writing that this case was mishandled. It leaves me with the only conclusion being is that they really don't care about my sons. Only about having a family and not the individual needs of the children. That is truly very sad. Then add to that when my sons grow up and learn the truth of everything. How do they think my sons will look at them? Do they think that they won't be angry, resentful and many other things for having the truth kept from them and being kept away from the family they love? And they will learn the truth. Truth has a way of always coming to light.
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"This is email #4 addressing this matter. I am emailing you, since you are my sons worker, about concerns my daughter has. She has made repeated requests to her previous worker, foster caregiver and even to her advocate to have phone contact and visits with her brothers. She has made these requests all spring and summer only to be bypassed or refused for some reason or another. Now she is being told that she is not allowed to even call them. She has not been allowed to call them since late spring. She is being told by her foster caregiver that she must first email the people who have her brothers to ask permission. This email must be approved first by the foster caregiver. She is very upset that she was promised that contact between her and her brothers would never be stopped and now that is exactly what is happening. She wants to have at least one call a week and at least a few visits a year. They are siblings and have a bond that it seems everyone is trying to break. This can be very negative mentally on all of them if contact is cut. It can be akin to suffering a death of a sibling and can have long lasting affects. So I am making this request through you since all her avenues seem to be blocked. Could you please request of the family who has my sons to call and have weekly contact between them? This would be greatly appreciated. My daughters new worker says she is also trying to contact you about this issue.
I also would like to know if I send birthday gifts to my sons if they will be given to my sons along with the address of where to send them. Last year I sent b-day and Christmas gifts to them only to learn later that they were left on a workers shelf and not given to them. We have their birthday gifts and would like to send them but don't want them sitting on a self. I would appreciate you communicating with me on this matter. My oldest sons 9th b-day is coming up in less then 2 weeks. So would appreciate a prompt reply. THank you.
Awaiting your reply"
I have even tried calling and all I get is her voice mail, which is full, stating that she is away for part of August. It is now October and still nothing. So I emailed the workers supervisor this morning. I am not the least bit surprised. This is what has gone on with just about every single worker I have dealt with. They will ignore calls, emails and so on and then claim that I am the one refusing communication. Then I get questioned later, on why I suddenly want contact when all along I am being ignore. And while all this is going on my sons are thinking that I have abandoned them or no longer love them. And I can't imagine what it must be like for them losing their sister as well. Especially since studies show that it can have long term negative effects.
http://cswr.columbia.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/2006_vol4_pg17_sheehan.pdf
"Siblings placed separately may show more aggression and be more depressedthan children who are placed with siblings (Smith, 1998). These two factors
may be related in that children who have fewer interpersonal skills may
experience greater conflict while together and then more aggression or
depression when separated from their siblings."
"Children deprived of their sibling relationships may react
behaviorally and emotionally, showing signs of guilt, a loss of self-esteem,grief, anger and acting out, anxiety, developmental setbacks (especially
in identity formation), and depression (Tarren-Sweeney & Hazell, 2005;
Herrick & Piccus, 2005)."
"The emotional and behavioral symptoms of children who have been
separated from their siblings in care may resemble the symptoms of childrenexperiencing the death of a parent or sibling. Many children in foster care
experience multiple losses, which include the loss of parents, of home, of
siblings, of school, of peers, and of their role within the family system.
These losses are seldom acknowledged by others, leaving the children with
disenfranchised, or, as Boss (1999) terms it, ambiguous grief; this is a grief
that has no name, no rituals, and sometimes no end. DeVita-Raeburn (2004)
warns that such losses, unacknowledged by others, can create a life of ennui
ranging from strained relationships and dissatisfaction to self-destructive oreven suicidal behaviors."
My oldest son has shown this to be true. He became violent when they cut me out of his life and then has become progressively worse. The family who has them knows that the root cause is that he wants me. He has stated that after one of his melt downs. But did they even attempt to contact me? No. And now they are not even aiding in communication between his sister and both of them. And this is suppose to be a family that cares about him?
Come on. These are not puppies. You can't take them from all they know and love, give them a new family and tell them to forget everything and just love the new family. Even if they are nice people. Children don't work that way. Just because the people who has them want to pretend that they are their sons and that they have no other siblings; does not mean that is what my sons will do, feel or think. You can't just erase their memories, their hopes, their dreams. If they truly care for my sons they would contact at the very least their sister to keep that communication open. But they are not.
Back in the spring my daughters foster caregiver asked me if she could give the blog address and the facebook page with the pictures and videos to the family who has my sons. I said yes. She let me know she did. She even let me know that they did not like the fact that the pictures of my middle son when my mother had him in a starved condition(2 1/2 yrs old and 25lbs when he should have been at least 35lbs based on his height and age). So if what the foster caregiver has said to me is true then they know what is going on. And they are choosing to ignore the very important emotional needs of my two sons whom they claim they care about. Between the workers refusal to communicate and the people who have my sons refusal to consider the long term impact of cutting my childrens ties not just with me but with my daughter, even with my daughters new worker admitting in writing that this case was mishandled. It leaves me with the only conclusion being is that they really don't care about my sons. Only about having a family and not the individual needs of the children. That is truly very sad. Then add to that when my sons grow up and learn the truth of everything. How do they think my sons will look at them? Do they think that they won't be angry, resentful and many other things for having the truth kept from them and being kept away from the family they love? And they will learn the truth. Truth has a way of always coming to light.
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Tuesday, September 24, 2013
It Only Took 21 Years
21 years of hell, torture, abuse, loss for just one worker, out of countless workers, to finally agree that I and my kids were abuse by my mother. This is direct from a message from my daughters new worker that I received recently.
" I DO believe that (name removed, My mother) harmed you and the kids. I have had a chance to go through our whole file, and see many places where there was misunderstanding and miscommunication. I also see how hard you worked to be healthy and to be able to provide a happy home for them. I see that moving to (city name removed) was the best thing you could have done, and that setting very strict boundaries between you and (my mother) was a very good choice. I can’t undo any past decisions, but I hope that we can move forward in a better way."
All my life I have gone through hell thanks to this woman. 3 step kids went through hell, my 3 children went through hell. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, death threats, neglect, denial of basic human rights (roof over our heads, food to eat). In this blog many of you have read much of the horrors that the 7 of us have had to endure. Many many many times we sought help. Me especially to stop the torture. Only to be ignored, called liars, shunned because of the lies this woman created to cover up what she was doing. I lost friends, family. My kids lost so much more. Their loving mother. And even when case after case was brought to their attention about the abuse Children's Services continued to ignore the victims. Traumatizing all of us even more. A few of us even believe my mother is above the law because she was allowed to do this to so many and no one would listen or help.
Then to receive this. It seems like such a small paragraph of words. Not such a big deal right?!. WRONG. For the first time in 21yrs of me screaming about the horrors this woman had inflicted on me but also so many others someone in Children's Services actually had the guts to say they believe we were harmed by her. I can't even begin to explain how those words made me feel. I had to read them several times to believe their were on the screen.
Then to make it even better she clearly states that my move to this city and cutting contact with my mother was the best thing I could have done. WOW. Both of those decisions were used against me in court. Twisted around to make it look like I abandoned my kids by moving here and also that I was extremely mentally ill for cutting contact with "family". I lost the trial because of my mother and how the department lied and twisted things on the stand instead of them truly opening up their eyes and seeing things with an unbias point of view.
This worker has already, in a couple of weeks, made some decisions that totally go against what the other workers have done. My daughter will not be tested for Aspbergers, she will be allowed to pursue getting her learners. My experience, as you have or can read in the blog, with workers and Children's Services has never been a good one. I have seem huge corruption, liars, workers purjurying themselves on the stand, lack of doing their job in investigating abuse alligations, bias decision making, ignoring of signs and complaints from witnesses of abuse, along with doing all they can to cover up their corruption. I know CPS is needed. I will be the first to say it. I also KNOW that there has to be some good, moral workers out there. My experience is that they must be few and far between since I have never met one. But I hope this worker will be different. The above paragraph is a good start. My response was this:
"Thank you for your last paragraph. No one else in the department, over the many years that I have dealt with them(16yrs and up) has anyone ever acknowledge that I, the step kids, and sadly now my kids, were harmed by her. I believe it was more bias because of me having a mental illness then miscommunication. (My Mother) had a history with abusing kids severely and still she was seen as a better caregiver then me even though I had NO history of abusing my kids. The previous workers didn't do their jobs when (My Mother) would make false allegations after visits. We still have all the video and audio tapes from the visits with my sons and daughter. Yet at the time (My Mother) would make an allegation and we would offer the video and audio tapes to disprove it and the worker would refuse them and cut visits. So no I don't see it as miscommunication. I see it as bias and people not doing their jobs. I can't and won't sugar coat what the department did to me and my family to tear us apart. I am still doing all I can to repair the damage done to my family. I will never stop fighting to bring them all home where they all belong. I have never given up and never will. I will be the first to say the CPS is something that is needed, I will also be the first to say that there must be good, decent workers out there. But that is not my experience. My experience is that they failed me over and over and over again. That they failed the step kids over and over and over again. And then they not only failed my kids but forced them to stay where they were being brutalized and tortured all while I kept telling the workers about what was happening in the home and being ignored. Then to add insult to injury they ripped the only parent they had from their lives that loved them with their whole heart. The only way to begin to repair some of the damage caused by all of this is to make a plan to return home my daughter and my sons.
I hope my daughter will not be failed again and that we can all work together to reunite her with her entire family. Not just bits and pieces. As long as they are all apart they will continue to suffer. Whether that is very obvious like in my oldest sons violent blow ups or silently until they can't deal with it any more, they are all suffering."
Reform of CPS needs to happen. Weeding out the many corrupt workers and putting in place regulations that will not tear families apart unless it literally is a last resort. Reform that will require proof of the allegations and not just hear say from a vindictive person or worker.
WOW 21 years. A long time in waiting. Now I am waiting for the same from the courts when they return my children home. Hopefully that won't take another 21 years.
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" I DO believe that (name removed, My mother) harmed you and the kids. I have had a chance to go through our whole file, and see many places where there was misunderstanding and miscommunication. I also see how hard you worked to be healthy and to be able to provide a happy home for them. I see that moving to (city name removed) was the best thing you could have done, and that setting very strict boundaries between you and (my mother) was a very good choice. I can’t undo any past decisions, but I hope that we can move forward in a better way."
All my life I have gone through hell thanks to this woman. 3 step kids went through hell, my 3 children went through hell. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, death threats, neglect, denial of basic human rights (roof over our heads, food to eat). In this blog many of you have read much of the horrors that the 7 of us have had to endure. Many many many times we sought help. Me especially to stop the torture. Only to be ignored, called liars, shunned because of the lies this woman created to cover up what she was doing. I lost friends, family. My kids lost so much more. Their loving mother. And even when case after case was brought to their attention about the abuse Children's Services continued to ignore the victims. Traumatizing all of us even more. A few of us even believe my mother is above the law because she was allowed to do this to so many and no one would listen or help.
Then to receive this. It seems like such a small paragraph of words. Not such a big deal right?!. WRONG. For the first time in 21yrs of me screaming about the horrors this woman had inflicted on me but also so many others someone in Children's Services actually had the guts to say they believe we were harmed by her. I can't even begin to explain how those words made me feel. I had to read them several times to believe their were on the screen.
Then to make it even better she clearly states that my move to this city and cutting contact with my mother was the best thing I could have done. WOW. Both of those decisions were used against me in court. Twisted around to make it look like I abandoned my kids by moving here and also that I was extremely mentally ill for cutting contact with "family". I lost the trial because of my mother and how the department lied and twisted things on the stand instead of them truly opening up their eyes and seeing things with an unbias point of view.
This worker has already, in a couple of weeks, made some decisions that totally go against what the other workers have done. My daughter will not be tested for Aspbergers, she will be allowed to pursue getting her learners. My experience, as you have or can read in the blog, with workers and Children's Services has never been a good one. I have seem huge corruption, liars, workers purjurying themselves on the stand, lack of doing their job in investigating abuse alligations, bias decision making, ignoring of signs and complaints from witnesses of abuse, along with doing all they can to cover up their corruption. I know CPS is needed. I will be the first to say it. I also KNOW that there has to be some good, moral workers out there. My experience is that they must be few and far between since I have never met one. But I hope this worker will be different. The above paragraph is a good start. My response was this:
"Thank you for your last paragraph. No one else in the department, over the many years that I have dealt with them(16yrs and up) has anyone ever acknowledge that I, the step kids, and sadly now my kids, were harmed by her. I believe it was more bias because of me having a mental illness then miscommunication. (My Mother) had a history with abusing kids severely and still she was seen as a better caregiver then me even though I had NO history of abusing my kids. The previous workers didn't do their jobs when (My Mother) would make false allegations after visits. We still have all the video and audio tapes from the visits with my sons and daughter. Yet at the time (My Mother) would make an allegation and we would offer the video and audio tapes to disprove it and the worker would refuse them and cut visits. So no I don't see it as miscommunication. I see it as bias and people not doing their jobs. I can't and won't sugar coat what the department did to me and my family to tear us apart. I am still doing all I can to repair the damage done to my family. I will never stop fighting to bring them all home where they all belong. I have never given up and never will. I will be the first to say the CPS is something that is needed, I will also be the first to say that there must be good, decent workers out there. But that is not my experience. My experience is that they failed me over and over and over again. That they failed the step kids over and over and over again. And then they not only failed my kids but forced them to stay where they were being brutalized and tortured all while I kept telling the workers about what was happening in the home and being ignored. Then to add insult to injury they ripped the only parent they had from their lives that loved them with their whole heart. The only way to begin to repair some of the damage caused by all of this is to make a plan to return home my daughter and my sons.
I hope my daughter will not be failed again and that we can all work together to reunite her with her entire family. Not just bits and pieces. As long as they are all apart they will continue to suffer. Whether that is very obvious like in my oldest sons violent blow ups or silently until they can't deal with it any more, they are all suffering."
Reform of CPS needs to happen. Weeding out the many corrupt workers and putting in place regulations that will not tear families apart unless it literally is a last resort. Reform that will require proof of the allegations and not just hear say from a vindictive person or worker.
WOW 21 years. A long time in waiting. Now I am waiting for the same from the courts when they return my children home. Hopefully that won't take another 21 years.
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Friday, September 6, 2013
My Daughters Words: My Real Home
Five visits, just five visits, and I already know where my real home is.
Imagine having something you've always wanted and never knew that it was there, it was yours, but when you want it, you are ripped from it. That is me after ever visit ends.
At night I cry myself to sleep, I admit it. I want my mother, I want my father, I WANT MY FAMILY! But I am ripped from it. Every time I have to leave I feel like I am being ripped from it again, and I can't claw my way back to it.
It just makes me hate that so called "person" more. She did this and we have to pay the consequences.
Yes, where I am is okay, but the adults have chosen child service's side, and I chose my mom's.
I need people to end this! This is making me suffer, my youngest brother suffer, my parents suffer, my two little brothers suffer, and that I can NOT allow. We need more support than ever, we won't stop fighting, but even a battle can be won by evil, and that can't happen now, it will ruin to much.
You can help. Check out my mother's page on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/HelpBringIsabeauDedrickAndRonanHomeToTheirBrother),
donate here so we can get a lawyer (https://www.fundraise.com/help-bring-isabeau-dedrick-and-ronan-home-to-their-brother/help-reunite-4-siblings?utm_source=created&utm_medium=f&utm_campaign=XfpZ) and keep us in your thoughts and your hearts.
A woman ruined us, but a family will bring us back together.
Above is a post my daughter wrote today to have put up here today. She wants you to know how she feels. This week she made another request to speak to her brothers. Her foster caregiver refused her again. Telling her she had to write an email to ask permission of the family who has them. This email of course must be proofed by the foster caregiver since my daughter is not allowed their email. You can see above how the so call "child protection society" is destroying her. Tearing her from her brothers as I was torn from them.
And just think about the two that can't voice their feelings like she can here. Her oldest brother has become increasingly violent since my visits were cut at social services discretion (not the courts and NOT A COURT ORDER). They just cut contact of their own free choice. Now they are doing the same to my children. My daughter can not tell her brothers why she is being refused contact. It is just another person who they grew up with, love and have an undeniable bond with being ripped from their lives because it helps to cover up the crimes of Social Services and my mother.
We as a society need to stop turning a blind eye to this. We need to take the blinders off and see that the suffering of the children in care is very real. Feel her words. Don't just read them. Feel them. She is feeling helpless. We need to show her she is not helpless. She is not alone and we as a society need to rally around her and help her.
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Imagine having something you've always wanted and never knew that it was there, it was yours, but when you want it, you are ripped from it. That is me after ever visit ends.
At night I cry myself to sleep, I admit it. I want my mother, I want my father, I WANT MY FAMILY! But I am ripped from it. Every time I have to leave I feel like I am being ripped from it again, and I can't claw my way back to it.
It just makes me hate that so called "person" more. She did this and we have to pay the consequences.
Yes, where I am is okay, but the adults have chosen child service's side, and I chose my mom's.
I need people to end this! This is making me suffer, my youngest brother suffer, my parents suffer, my two little brothers suffer, and that I can NOT allow. We need more support than ever, we won't stop fighting, but even a battle can be won by evil, and that can't happen now, it will ruin to much.
You can help. Check out my mother's page on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/HelpBringIsabeauDedrickAndRonanHomeToTheirBrother),
donate here so we can get a lawyer (https://www.fundraise.com/help-bring-isabeau-dedrick-and-ronan-home-to-their-brother/help-reunite-4-siblings?utm_source=created&utm_medium=f&utm_campaign=XfpZ) and keep us in your thoughts and your hearts.
A woman ruined us, but a family will bring us back together.
Above is a post my daughter wrote today to have put up here today. She wants you to know how she feels. This week she made another request to speak to her brothers. Her foster caregiver refused her again. Telling her she had to write an email to ask permission of the family who has them. This email of course must be proofed by the foster caregiver since my daughter is not allowed their email. You can see above how the so call "child protection society" is destroying her. Tearing her from her brothers as I was torn from them.
And just think about the two that can't voice their feelings like she can here. Her oldest brother has become increasingly violent since my visits were cut at social services discretion (not the courts and NOT A COURT ORDER). They just cut contact of their own free choice. Now they are doing the same to my children. My daughter can not tell her brothers why she is being refused contact. It is just another person who they grew up with, love and have an undeniable bond with being ripped from their lives because it helps to cover up the crimes of Social Services and my mother.
We as a society need to stop turning a blind eye to this. We need to take the blinders off and see that the suffering of the children in care is very real. Feel her words. Don't just read them. Feel them. She is feeling helpless. We need to show her she is not helpless. She is not alone and we as a society need to rally around her and help her.
Return To Map Of The Blog Page
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Child Procurement Services = CPS
Today a lady on my facebook posted a link to a documentary about how CPS in the states is legally kidnapping children. I urge everyone who reads my blog to check out this link and watch the clip. It is only 15 minutes long but it has real statistics on it and Judges and so on talking about how this industry really does do this for the money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGj5QzulMUU
This is from one of the links to the documentary and is started and shown in the video:
"The right to legal counsel, your Miranda rights, the right to a speedy jury trial, are American rights protected by our Constitution. But not in family court, where a single judge can decide whether or not you are a fit parent. CPS services “protecting” children today has become a $29.4 billion dollar industry.
CPS has more power today than the police, sheriff, or FBI, as they can come into your home and remove your child without a search warrant or court order. Someone who doesn’t like you, for any reason, can make a phone call and provide an anonymous “tip” with the result of you losing your children.
As explained in the video above, some of the reasons for which CPS is removing children from their homes today:
This is not just happening in the US. It is happening in Canada too and just as bad. Things have got to change. Many are still under the assumption that children are only removed from a family as a last resort and this is simply not true. The word must be gotten out. The rules of family court must change. I urge all my loyal readers to pass on my page and the links on this page. We need to stop allowing families to be torn apart. The long term impacts on the children in foster care is terrible. Lets help the children by helping the families fight the corruption!
If you have a story of how CPS legally kidnapped your child you are urged and asked on the video to share it here: cpsdocumentary@gmail.com
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGj5QzulMUU
This is from one of the links to the documentary and is started and shown in the video:
"The right to legal counsel, your Miranda rights, the right to a speedy jury trial, are American rights protected by our Constitution. But not in family court, where a single judge can decide whether or not you are a fit parent. CPS services “protecting” children today has become a $29.4 billion dollar industry.
CPS has more power today than the police, sheriff, or FBI, as they can come into your home and remove your child without a search warrant or court order. Someone who doesn’t like you, for any reason, can make a phone call and provide an anonymous “tip” with the result of you losing your children.
As explained in the video above, some of the reasons for which CPS is removing children from their homes today:
- if the child has low birth weight
- if the child is over weight
- if you or your child is mentally challenged
- if the child is diabetic
- if you refuse to drink fluorinated water
- if you eat organic food
- if you or child is disabled
- if you don’t vaccinate your child
- if you homeschool your child"
This is not just happening in the US. It is happening in Canada too and just as bad. Things have got to change. Many are still under the assumption that children are only removed from a family as a last resort and this is simply not true. The word must be gotten out. The rules of family court must change. I urge all my loyal readers to pass on my page and the links on this page. We need to stop allowing families to be torn apart. The long term impacts on the children in foster care is terrible. Lets help the children by helping the families fight the corruption!
If you have a story of how CPS legally kidnapped your child you are urged and asked on the video to share it here: cpsdocumentary@gmail.com
Return To Map Of The Blog Page
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