"Your File Was Mishandled"

What a day.  Got to meet my daughters new worker in person today and another person she works with as well.  They seem nice.  We talked for close to 2 1/2 hours.  I went in with the attitude that I am willing to work with them but I want the truth out there.  I let her know right at the beginning that I do not trust social workers.  That I do believe there are good honest social workers out there and I do believe that CPS is needed.  BUT that I also believe that good workers are few and far between and that CPS needs to be reformed.  She basically said that after reading my file she can understand why I feel the way I do.

She let me know she and another person(not sure if it was a supervisor or a worker) both went through my entire file together and they could see where so much had been mishandled, misinformed and misunderstood.  She also said our time line for things coincided with what was in the file for my mother.  She said that where we pin point where the abuse started against my kids from my mother matched where the workers were observing my mothers behavior changing towards my kids and towards workers and others she worked with in the department.  That they were notice strange behaviors.  She also acknowledged that complaints against my mother were not handled properly as well.  She also acknowledged that I had done everything asked of me and then some.  That she could go on and on about the things we did right.  She said we did everything asked and how the case was handled was not how she would have handled it at all.  She could see all I needed was guidance and help but that I was not getting any yet still I did all that I should. 

I feel so angry.  Not towards this worker.  She is the first worker I have met who has honestly looked at my file and acknowledged that this was mismanaged.  But what do I do with that.  I have lost 5yrs of my kids lives because of people not doing their jobs.  FIVE YEARS!!!!  I have lost 5yrs with my kids because of lies, people refusing to look at the whole picture.  What do I do with that?  2 of my children are placed with another family to try and cover up the blatant mismanagement of this case. 

So what now?  Are they offering me my kids back because they screwed up?  There is a tentative plan in place for my daughter to move home this summer to start grade ten here at home with us.  Tentative.  This is another thing that was confirmed.  I told the worker how the previous adoption worker told me last November/December(before my sons were placed with a family) that PGO's are rarely overturned.  Well this worker let us know it happens a lot more then people think.  In fact it is one of the considerations for my daughter.  They gave us 3 tentative plans.
1) my daughter moves home and after a period of observation the PGO can be ended and the file closed.
2) my daughter moves home and she stays PGO till she is 18 and they can offer us some money for her care.
3) she can move home and live here like an independent living situation(roommates type thing) where they pay for her lodging and so on but the PGO is not as much in place and the file is not closed.

Hmmmmm I don't want their money.  So the last two hold no appeal to me.  I want my daughter home and the PGO ended.  I let her know that ending the PGO would show there is no longer a concern and the concerns that had caused them to go into care where addressed and gone.  This would help towards overturning the PGO of my sons. 

I have 0 interest in their money.  I have enough to support all my kids.  No amount of money will replace the 5yrs of hell we have all been through.  No amount of money will fix the emotional, physical turmoil we have all been through and continue to go through.  The only thing that will begin to fix this is all my children returning home and a huge apology from CPS to my entire family for the severe damage and abuse that they were a part of and helped to continue to force us to endure.  Maybe then we can start to all heal.  Not before.  This new worker is making a good first step.

She said there is very little she could suggest for us to do.  I out right asked her what she needed us to do and that is what she told us.  We discussed the therapy plans are when she moves home, we discussed the plans to help her get more life skills, we discussed how to get my daughter to open up more and trust people. I let them know they are dealing with the repercussions of all the workers who ignored my daughters pleas for help, all the workers who kept returning her to her abuser, all the people who ignored her when she tried to open up.  That now my daughter no longer just trusts.  People have to gain it.  We discussed some of the abuse my daughter endured and how that can be causing behaviors and how we should work together to help her. 

We also talked about the consequences to all my children of people cutting contact between them.  That my oldest son made it perfectly clear when they cut contact with me that he was not happy with it and it was emotionally devastating to him by becoming violent.  Instead of people opening up their eyes and seeing the truth behind his behavior they just continued to ignore him.  Then they place him with a family with his brother and cut contact with his sister too.  He continues to get more violent.  When will this torture of my family stop?  When will the public cry out and say enough is enough?  One of the things I stated was a criminal can over turn a conviction based on a technicality or new evidence.  Yet my children and myself have a life sentence even though there is evidence of perjury, workers admitting to misinformation and mishandling of my case and so much more that I can't go into yet.  YET!  WHY does a criminal have more rights then a child and a mother?  A mother who never abused her children. 

My hope is that this year is the last year I miss my sons b-day.  I hope this year is the last year that I go without their laughter and messy fingers dipping into things at thanksgiving.  Help my sons and daughter return home.  We don't deserve to be separated.  Their rooms are ready and waiting.  Help us make this next year the one where we are all together again and the healing start.

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