Today has had both good and bad. Isn't that always the way it is though. Today I had an awesome surprise. I have had a terrible week. First getting sick with a stomach flu, then wrenching my back. I am not a happy camper. And still waiting on the department to let me know if we will get to see the kids for Christmas. The main highlight to my day was checking the mail. I LOVE Christmas Cards. And have been receiving quite a few this year. I have strung them up around my home and they have helped to bring in some Christmas cheer. Well today I went and checked my mail and their were 3 new cards. I decided to oped the big one first(doesn't everyone?). Inside was a musical card. And when I opened it out fell a check for $100. I was in shock. The note with it said this is for your family to purchase some Christmas presents with and also have a Christmas dinner. I started to cry. We had no money for Christmas dinner. We were most likely going to have Kraft dinner. I couldn't believe the kindness that this person had shown us. I showed the check and card to my fiance and as he read it tears came to his eyes as well. This check means more then just presents and food. it meant someone felt my pain and empathised with me and my family. Someone extended a part of their heart to us. Talk about an angel in disguise.
Even hours later I still get choked up thinking about this act of generosity. But with this good of course has to come bad. I also just received an email from the department about the request for a visit with my kids this week to give them their Christmas presents. My request was submitted at the beginning of last week. They have denied it. Said maybe next week. They also told me that all communication now will have to be done via phone calls or in person. No more emails. My lawyers had advised emails in the fall of 09 because of all the lies about who was denying/refusing visits, accusations about what was said during phone calls and such. They know I have saved all the emails. So now want to take away that form of protecting myself.
I thanked them for again denying me yet another holiday with my children, especially since they have not allowed me to see them since the end of October. And I also refused to end the email communication. On that I will not give an inch. I am not going back to giving them the power to create all sorts of stories anymore. When I can again try to appeal(if I can ever get the money together) I need that proof to show they are the ones denying visits and lieing. I had a feeling they would do this but it still hurts. And I can't imagine what my kids are thinking. They thought I hated them the last time the department refused me to see them for so long.
So today has been a good and bad day. I discovered an angel and also saw the cruel side of someone. I have one request for all those that continue to read my blog. This holiday season please hug your kids tight, even when they are being naughty. For there are those out there like me that can only dream of being with out kids again.
Update: December 23. Got even more wonderful news. My fiance came home from work on his supper break and told me he had his yearly review. Said that they gave him a raise. Things are finally on their way up.
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