We just had a glorious 11 day visit with my daughter, and we can thank a blizzard and her new worker for that. Here are the details. We picked her up on Thursday evening like was scheduled. When we got home and helped her unpack we again discovered she didn't have her medications. So she has been without them all week. We didn't notice any real difference in her behavior without it. In fact she says she sleeps better here without the medication at night then she does with the medication at her foster caregivers. I think that is important to note. And on several occasions she was up on her own earlier then the 9am time that we wake her up. I do think we need to let the doctor know about the evening meds so he can decide whether to reassess. But I also think we really need to find a way to get her medication out here because packing it is not working. She hasn't had any here since summer. I have tried talking to the foster caregiver, the worker and so on. We need a solution because I know this can affect her grades and I don't want people thinking it is because she doesn't want to do her school work or she is acting out or such, when it could be as simple as making sure she has her meds on a consistent basis. I have notified her worker and I am hoping that we can find a solution. I do not think it is an on purpose thing. I think it has a lot to do with the excitement of coming home and it just is not a priority so gets forgotten.
This time she was coming home to a surprise. We got her a whole winter wear wardrobe. And I got them all at a great price thanks to several of the sites I am on for getting good quality used things and some peoples generosity. She was very happy with her new wardrobe. In fact most of the pieces she had never worn those styles but once she put them on she glowed with happiness and in fact she said she looked great. She was complimenting herself for once. It was awesome. Almost everything is name brands and very stylish. Only 4 things didn't fit(we got her over 40 pieces) and one she didn't like. So I think that was a home run. Many pieces are so nice she could go to school or a job interview in. lol She refused to wear any of her old stuff the entire time she was here. And told me that she now fully trusts my shopping for clothes for her because I make sure the pieces would be something that is stylish and would look good on her. So a home run in that department.
Some of my daughters new outfit pictures
She has also made another friend. One of my friends in town is a foster mom who also adopted her kids as well. Her youngest, who is a 12yr old boy, came with all of us to coffee the first Saturday my daughter was here. They hit it right off. So well in fact that the kids went on a father child outing together. The sons father got 4 free tickets to see Thor. So since I had taken my daughter out to the movies in the summer it was decided that she and my partner would go with this boy and his dad. They all had a blast. She also had two of her other friends over for a games night as well. We all played monopoly and had cake. It was a ton of fun. We are planning several activities with this family during Christmas break. Bowling, swimming at the leisure center and New Years Eve pot luck party here at our home and ice skating. So now she has 3 friends and will hopefully meet another one of my friends 12yr old daughter this coming holiday as well. I am trying to help her build a good friend base here so that when she moves home this summer she has friends here already to make the transition that much easier.
We all got to decorate as well on the first Saturday after our littlest one was in bed. We turned up the Christmas music, built our 3D village, my partner did the lights on the tree and my daughter decorated it. She had so much fun decorating and did a fantastic job as you can see in the photos.
Christmas Decorating photos
She also surprise us a few times this week. When the bad weather hit, out of the blue she volunteered to do some of the shoveling and she followed through too. Then on another occasion I was having a bath and my partner was working till nine. I heard her in the kitchen and when I came out she was working on doing the dishwasher. No one asked her she just decided to do it. On another occasion she was in a grumpy mood and that evening out of no where she just said "Mom I am sorry I was so grumpy today." I told her thank you, and that we totally appreciated the apology as well. I love having such a considerate daughter.
I did contact the school with her workers permission because of missing most of the week of school. Two of her teachers sent homework. English and Social. She read what the teach for English sent and then wrote a short story. For social I did tell the teachers she did not have any of her books so he sent about 30 pages to download. Only one segment I was not able to download and print off because I didn't have that program. He asked for her to finish her timeline. I had no idea what he meant by that but he also wanted her to study the rights of the natives and the Metis. So since I had no previous work here for her to do a timeline I asked her to write an Essay instead. Just a page and a half one. That way she could show her teacher she did read the pages and understood them. She asked me what some of the words were and once I explained those she did well. I looked over both but thought she did well on them. Hopefully her teachers are happy with that. I did email them also to let them know she will be here for Christmas vacation so if they could let me know what the homework will be over the holidays and what books she will need during that time then I can talk to her foster caregiver and make sure they are packed so we can work on her homework and help her improve her grades. I did notice that she is still the type of child that works hard for praise. She consistently wants to know what I think and will work hard on her work if she knows I will be going over it. So I am doing the same thing that I did when she was younger if I see a mistake. I point out several of the things she did well, then point out what and why something is wrong and finish it with more praise for the other stuff. In this way I don't get any frustration from her and she is very inclined to work to improve what could be wrong. I don't give her the answers. I don't believe in doing that. Instead I will give her similar examples to work from to figure out the solution. That way she learns the work herself.
She also wrote two letters. One to each of her brothers. I printed those off for her and she has two of her school photos that she wants to include in the envelop. One for each of them. So she is going to give them to her foster caregiver to give to her worker to pass on to my sons worker. So hopefully my sons worker will give it to my sons. I also talked to my daughters foster caregiver and she let me know that the people who have my sons called her. They asked her if my daughter is moving home. I think they are reading it on here and needed verification. She told them that yes she is moving home this summer permanently. This must be very confusing for them. Being told by the crappy original adoption worker all the lies and then seeing the proof of what I have been saying all along. I do feel sorry for them. They do want a family and I hope in the future they get the family they long for. But it will not be my family. My family has suffered enough and we deserve to have our hell finally ended and be all together. My sons will be coming home too. It is just a matter of a few more pieces falling into place and a little time and they will be home too. I just hope they can find it in their hearts for my sons, my daughter and for me to allow us all to finally have a visit this Christmas. That would be a Christmas miracle that our family has waited for, for too long. I have not heard from my sons worker since she told me she is having a meeting with her supervisor and with all the excitement last week I didn't have a chance to email her. So I will first thing tomorrow.
So that was our wonderful visit. She is also considering photography as a hobby. She loves to take pictures and took literally over 200 this past week. Most are really good shots. Now just waiting to pick her up on the 21st. The count down to Christmas begins. It is going to be one of the best in a very long time and if we all get to have a reunion then it will be even better. Keep us in your thoughts that everyone opens up their hearts and allows for all of us to have a visit this season.
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