WOW what a day people. Seriously. I don't know how to process today at all. So this morning was the first witness for the department. The lady who did my parental assessment. They swore her in as an expert which I happily had no problem with. Then the departments lawyer started to question her. Just about every question he asked her she would some how spin it around to focus on just the importance of the attachment of my sons to the people they were with. Even though in the report she did admit to passing me in all areas as being a fit parent she would still say I can only say this for the two in my care currently. Then right back to the attachment. It was very obvious to me that she was not focusing on my parenting abilities, which is what she was hired to do - gage whether I was able to parent and my ability to parent. Instead she kept focusing on the attachment of my sons to their caregivers. Which she has never witnessed, has never assessed AND which is not what she was hired to do. She attested that I passed the physical ability to meet their needs, I passed the social ability to meet their needs, I passed the cultural ability to meet their needs and I passed the intellectual ability to meet their needs. The emotional needs she also stated I was able to show that I passed everything under emotional needs except the attachment part. So they stayed focus almost entirely on that trying to either spin the others or twist it to the attachment one. The children's lawyer did similar focusing almost entirely on the attachment part and ignoring all the other points and also ignoring that this assessment was not about the attachment of my sons to me or to the couple they are with but was suppose to be about my ability to parent. I did get her to admit that yes there is a chance that my oldest son could still have some attachment to me. There was a lot of interesting things that came out but I think the judges questions and responses to her were the most telling. I won't go into the details of it but I have to say I was in shock about that exchanged. Given my lack of experience and knowledge I think I did a really good job in questioning her and I am happy with how that turned out.
Next was my testimony. I gave part of it yesterday. Most of my testimony in fact but since I was still under oath I could not state that I had. I concluded today with some clarifying things after the parental assessor. I was really nervous but I think I held my composure well. When it came to cross the departments lawyer went first. I was not prepared for their questions as I had no idea how they would question me but I think I gave really good responses and got the truth out. The judge looked thoughtful most of the time anytime I chanced a glance at him. Right now I seriously think he is trying to really figure this all out. I don't get the same vibe from him as I did with the PGO judge. I think at first he was really confused with how I was calling my witnesses but I think he might be starting to see all I have done to try and show I am fit. I really do think that no matter what I have won point A. They can't show in any way that I am not fit. They can't show in any way that I am not willing and they can't show in any way that I am not able. I have too many professionals testifying to that regard who have watched me parent over too long a period of time.
I have 0 idea where point B is going to end up. Seriously I don't. I wish I did but given I have no idea I am preparing for the worst but positively hoping for the best. I can actually see possible light at the end of this journey finally. There is a 50-50 chance I could see my sons soon. I have to admit I have shocked myself. I am so happy with how I have stay calm and been able to show the judge who I really am under the most unbelievable stressful circumstance for a case that works on your deepest emotions. So that is where we are now. I have not yet prepared for the second week but I am taking a few days off and then start to try and see how to figure out the rest. I do have a basic idea but figuring it all out will take time. So until the 21st I am on a blog break. lol Chat to you all then.
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