Sorry I have not updated in a bit. Been busy with this court case, settling my daughter in here at home and many other important things.
First it is time to announce one of the on going things that have been happening the past year. You will remember last spring when I wrote about my daughters previous worker stating that I live in a fantasy land if I think I will ever get my kids back? Well what you don't know is after that conversation I decided that CPS was in no way going to do the right thing by my children. It was time to get the law involved since CPS would not. The step kids had already told me prior that if I ever decided to start the process that they would support me with their testimonies of their experiences as well. So as soon as my fiancé got home I had him take me to our local police department. I initiated the process to have my mother investigated for the abuse of my children and the abuse of the step kids. I also mentioned the perjury as well.
I was there for about 2 1/2-3 hours. They video taped my interview. I was shaking the entire time and crying at times as well. Part of me thought I was an idiot to do this. No one would believe us. Very few ever had. She was just too good at lying and convincing people of her stories. But the bigger part of me knew I was not there for me, I was not there for the step kids. I was there for my kids to get justice and understanding. I was there to stop future children from going through the same thing. That is what kept me in my seat and sharing everything I could.
When I went home and told my children's rescuer that I had initiated the investigation and that I had given them her name as well as the step kids, and my daughters she was very proud of me. She added her testimony to mine, as the months went by others got interviewed as well. I was informed that I would have to contact the police from the city the perjury happened to got that investigation going as well. By January of this year I was finally able to do that.
So currently there are 3 police investigations happening. For my mother there is one for the abuse of the step kids in the town that happened in. There is also another cop doing another investigation of the abuse of my kids and the youngest step kid in the town that occurred in and as of January of this year there is a perjury investigation of her in the city that occurred in for the PGO trial as well. 3 different police departments investigating her. BUT THAT IS NOT ALL. Also in January I also got the perjury investigations going for the lead social worker that was on my file and also his supervisor as well.
Why is this important? Well remember since I don't have a lawyer the department had to disclose everything to me. And in so doing I discovered that there is quite a bit of important things in those documents to aid in the police investigations for perjury and the abuse of my children. Can't state what that is since the departments lawyer had me sign a nondisclosure agreement. But it also prevented me from disclosing to the police what was in there. So I let the police know that they needed to get the files. But they needed grounds as to why they needed the files. So I volunteered to request it today of the judge since today was the next court date after the JDR last week. I had informed the department at the JDR that I planed to do just that but the lawyer today stated outside of the court room that no agreement to disclose happened at the JDR. I said I know. Because I stated I was requesting it at the next court date. He then said he would request to adjourn that decision since he had not read my affidavit that I filed last Thursday to the court about it. I knew it was a stall tactic but hoped the judge would not adjourn that decision. When we got in the court room and my turn came up I didn't really have to say much as to why I needed the courts permission. The court saw the issue right away. The departments lawyer tried and his boss also tried to convince the judge that the police could apply to get the documents themselves if there was a reason. But the judge shot them down without me saying hardly anything. He just asked me to explain why the police asked me to request it and I explained that they only had my word as to there being something important in there. So the judge said I had a due diligence to report anything that might lead to a crime to the police and that the nondisclosure agreement hindered that ability. The department lawyers boss did try to tell the judge that the perjury and abuse investigations have no baring on these court proceedings(Which I 100% disagree with him on but didn't say anything)but the judge was not swayed. So he amended it to me being able to allow the police to look at my copies of the documents and to discuss what is in there with the police but they are not allowed to copy mine. If there is what I say there is in there then they will then have grounds to request all the unvetted documents that show names and everything else that I can't see, to aid them in their investigations. I held off cheering till I was out of the court room.
Here is the interesting thing. At the JDR to me the judge was one sided right from the beginning. Within a few minutes into it, last week, the judge said since he had no evidence in front of him other then my affidavit that got this review going. He stated that to him it seemed like I was on a mission just to prove the department screwed me over and not what was in the best interest of my sons. I was shocked because I thought a JDR was suppose to be for all sides to be open and talk about the issue but it was plain that he had a judgment about me right from the beginning. He seemed to allude that these reviews always lead to the department still keeping the PGO so I asked him "wouldn't the PGO be thrown out if the perjury convictions come down and the abuse convictions come down?". For a criminal he could get his whole trial thrown out if someone committed perjury. Why should it be any different for a family that was torn apart from the CPS workers and the main complainant accusing me of abuse. The judges reply "Not necessarily." From there I only asked questions when I needed to clarify something or make sure my opinion was known. For example I made it clear that I would not agree to the couple who have my sons getting custody of my sons. The department then stated "you are ok with traumatizing them more after all they have been through?" I then stated "You guys have done that to my sons over and over again. From cutting contact with me with no termination visit to say good bye, to cutting contact with their sister the same way, to repeated placements and so on." So they said "That was to get them to a permanent home." I then said "If you can do it to put them to place them with strangers then you can do it to place them back with family who they never should have been torn from to begin with." They said "So you want to cause them more issues with cutting bonded people out of their lives?" and I said "I would never do to them what you have. I would ask the couple they are with to have visits to help ease their transition home and not cut them suddenly from their lives further traumatizing them." So then they asked me if I would consider it the other way around. So the couple keeps custody but I and their sister would get visits at the departments or the couples discretion. Of course I said no way. I had already seen how the departments discretion looks like. That was about the only time I was allowed to give my opinion without the subject being changed when I would state something valid. They tried to keep the conversation focused on how long my sons had been with the couple instead of the fact that the PGO should never have happened in the first place and that the department should never have cut contact between my children and I or their sister. So all that the JDR led to was that my sons would be assessed by a Child Psychologist. I tried to say that I disagreed with that assessment unless we are allowed to be involved but was shut down by the judge. Which I expected after what he stated in the beginning. I tried to explain that to properly assess what my sons truly want they have a right to have visits with us to rebuild our relationship and then better assess what they want but that was shot down too. The judge said it was up to the person doing the assessment.
So the next court date is in late November to give the department time to assess my sons. Step two could be assessments for my fiancé, myself and my daughter. Which we have no problem with. So until the next court date I continue to prepare for trial, make time to sit down with the cops in charge of the investigations to disclose everything to them and continue to battle for my children's rights to be with their family and each other. In my opinion if I can't win this with the overwhelming evidence I have with this new legislation then it is not truly there to help keep families together as much as possible. Instead it would be a smoke screen to make the public think the government is doing all they can to keep families together all the while doing the opposite. Fingers crossed that it is not a smoke screen.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
We Are Going For Another JDR
Well here is todays update. First my ex was there. I was shocked by that but they are his kids too so not totally surprised. When the judge asked him his opinion on the PGO review he didn't say whether he was for or against it. Which the judge thought was valid since we have no contact between us and has none of the new information.
The court room was packed. And I mean packed. Standing room only and when our case was over most left. So I think most were here for this case. The couple who has my kids was also there. And she especially looked worried. They can't say they were not informed about this. Within months of caring for my sons they were given the blog link. They are so fearful that this morning I receive this message to the blog that is obviously from one of their friends:
"You need to realize as a mother what these boys have been through! Stop throwing around all you've been through to make people feel sorry for you! Yes you had a horrible life but maybe that has made you incapable of taking care of those beautiful boys. They already have reactive attachment disorder and yet you want to take them from the two people that love them and can afford to be there for them mentally physically and financially. As a mother myself I can't imagine having my son taken from me, but those boys have so many problems ALL they need is stability! Don't ruin there lives, they are with great people right now. They don't even know who you are, maybe that's best. "
My first thoughts on reading this when I got up this morning was YIPPEE the adoption has definitely not been finalized. I am sure that was not what the writer was hoping. What the writer seemed to fail at reading in the blog is that my blog is not all about me. It is about 7 survivors of horrific abuse and INJUSTICE. Usually when people learn of such huge injustices they rally behind the person experiencing them and give them support to help them continue to fight to see justice happen. Instead this person wants me to roll over and give up on my children so this couple can play house with my children. Sorry, I am a mother and any loving mother will never stop fighting for their children. They are not puppies. The woman did not carry my sons for 9 months. Did not feel them kick, go through the pains of giving birth to them. If I was an addict or an abuser I could see this kind of reasoning that they have above. But I did nothing wrong other then to need guidance and support. That is not the reason to lose your children forever. Why do my sons have Reactive Attachment Disorder? Because my mother and CPS ripped them from me. Cutting contact with me and their sister and filling their heads with lies WHILE abusing them. And I am just suppose to trust a stranger or CPS to tell me they are safe, loved and OK? Ummm NO. I will never give up fighting for my sons. Never. Even if the PGO review is not in my favor I will use other legal means to over turn the PGO and then have any adoption thrown out. I will never give up.
So that email woke me up in a great mood. So I went to court knowing my worst fears were not going to happen. Really made my day. I had none of the nervousness about being in court that I had last time because of that. I stood up and the judge was very nice. He let us know that because of the scope of the allegations in the review request that this will take a lot of paperwork and talking to figure out. So he has scheduled another JDR for the middle of August. With a court date to follow soon after. Since I have no lawyer all the lawyers have to disclose EVERYTHING to me. I love that. And yes I know that is going to be a lot of work to weed through but I am going to enlist as many friends to help me as possible. But it also means I will get copies of everything concerning my sons. Which means I will finally have some updates on how they are doing.
We did ask for visits and I did get it on record that the couple who have my sons lied to them and my daughter. Telling them contact would never be cut between them and then 3-4 months later contact was cut with no explanation. The judge did say he was not able to grant visits with the PGO in review. That has to be decided first. We are glad we asked though and that we got that on record. After court was over my daughter went up to the couple and asked them 3 questions. Why did they cut contact between her and her brothers, that she had heard it was because of a lie and that she also heard that her oldest brother is still acting out because he wants to see me. She was stern but not rude. She had the right to ask the questions. We stayed back and watched while getting the contact information of the other lawyers. Their only answer was that it will be handled in court. They had a very cornered and worried look on their face. I can understand why. They had counted on me not having the law on my side. Now they realize with this new legislation they do have something to very much worry about.
We also met the counsel for my sons. She seemed very nice. I asked her to please go into this looking at the evidence and not peoples personal opinions. That my sons previous lawyer was wrapped around my mothers finger not realizing the entire time my sons were being severely abuse at the time by my mother. She said that is her job. When I told her how contact was cut between me and my sons she was shocked. She looked at me and said "you were not given a termination visit?" I said no. The last thing I said to them was I love you and will see you next week. They were abused and/or threatened any time they mentioned me.
So all in all a very good court day. We didn't get visits but we were expecting that. We are glad we asked. The review is moving forward. I will continue to post to my blog any updates so others can learn from our experience. We all left the court house feeling very hopeful for the first time in a long time.
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The court room was packed. And I mean packed. Standing room only and when our case was over most left. So I think most were here for this case. The couple who has my kids was also there. And she especially looked worried. They can't say they were not informed about this. Within months of caring for my sons they were given the blog link. They are so fearful that this morning I receive this message to the blog that is obviously from one of their friends:
"You need to realize as a mother what these boys have been through! Stop throwing around all you've been through to make people feel sorry for you! Yes you had a horrible life but maybe that has made you incapable of taking care of those beautiful boys. They already have reactive attachment disorder and yet you want to take them from the two people that love them and can afford to be there for them mentally physically and financially. As a mother myself I can't imagine having my son taken from me, but those boys have so many problems ALL they need is stability! Don't ruin there lives, they are with great people right now. They don't even know who you are, maybe that's best. "
My first thoughts on reading this when I got up this morning was YIPPEE the adoption has definitely not been finalized. I am sure that was not what the writer was hoping. What the writer seemed to fail at reading in the blog is that my blog is not all about me. It is about 7 survivors of horrific abuse and INJUSTICE. Usually when people learn of such huge injustices they rally behind the person experiencing them and give them support to help them continue to fight to see justice happen. Instead this person wants me to roll over and give up on my children so this couple can play house with my children. Sorry, I am a mother and any loving mother will never stop fighting for their children. They are not puppies. The woman did not carry my sons for 9 months. Did not feel them kick, go through the pains of giving birth to them. If I was an addict or an abuser I could see this kind of reasoning that they have above. But I did nothing wrong other then to need guidance and support. That is not the reason to lose your children forever. Why do my sons have Reactive Attachment Disorder? Because my mother and CPS ripped them from me. Cutting contact with me and their sister and filling their heads with lies WHILE abusing them. And I am just suppose to trust a stranger or CPS to tell me they are safe, loved and OK? Ummm NO. I will never give up fighting for my sons. Never. Even if the PGO review is not in my favor I will use other legal means to over turn the PGO and then have any adoption thrown out. I will never give up.
So that email woke me up in a great mood. So I went to court knowing my worst fears were not going to happen. Really made my day. I had none of the nervousness about being in court that I had last time because of that. I stood up and the judge was very nice. He let us know that because of the scope of the allegations in the review request that this will take a lot of paperwork and talking to figure out. So he has scheduled another JDR for the middle of August. With a court date to follow soon after. Since I have no lawyer all the lawyers have to disclose EVERYTHING to me. I love that. And yes I know that is going to be a lot of work to weed through but I am going to enlist as many friends to help me as possible. But it also means I will get copies of everything concerning my sons. Which means I will finally have some updates on how they are doing.
We did ask for visits and I did get it on record that the couple who have my sons lied to them and my daughter. Telling them contact would never be cut between them and then 3-4 months later contact was cut with no explanation. The judge did say he was not able to grant visits with the PGO in review. That has to be decided first. We are glad we asked though and that we got that on record. After court was over my daughter went up to the couple and asked them 3 questions. Why did they cut contact between her and her brothers, that she had heard it was because of a lie and that she also heard that her oldest brother is still acting out because he wants to see me. She was stern but not rude. She had the right to ask the questions. We stayed back and watched while getting the contact information of the other lawyers. Their only answer was that it will be handled in court. They had a very cornered and worried look on their face. I can understand why. They had counted on me not having the law on my side. Now they realize with this new legislation they do have something to very much worry about.
We also met the counsel for my sons. She seemed very nice. I asked her to please go into this looking at the evidence and not peoples personal opinions. That my sons previous lawyer was wrapped around my mothers finger not realizing the entire time my sons were being severely abuse at the time by my mother. She said that is her job. When I told her how contact was cut between me and my sons she was shocked. She looked at me and said "you were not given a termination visit?" I said no. The last thing I said to them was I love you and will see you next week. They were abused and/or threatened any time they mentioned me.
So all in all a very good court day. We didn't get visits but we were expecting that. We are glad we asked. The review is moving forward. I will continue to post to my blog any updates so others can learn from our experience. We all left the court house feeling very hopeful for the first time in a long time.
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Thursday, June 26, 2014
MY DAUGHTER IS HOME FOR GOOD!!!!!!
Today, which also happens to be my partners birthday, and ironically my mothers birthday as well, is the long awaited day for all of us. WE BROUGHT MY DAUGHTER HOME!!! Not for a visit, but for good. Some wonderful friends watched my youngest son for the day while we did the drove the 2 hours away to pick her up and all her stuff.
The day was overcast and raining most of the way but our spirits soared as my partner and I sang and laughed our way to our daughter. Nothing could darken our day today. We drove up to the home and I walked to the door. She smiled and waved to us from the window, then invited us inside. We chatted with her foster caregiver for a few minutes, loaded up her things and then hugs were shared. I thanked her caregiver for watching over her for us. Then we all loaded up into the truck and away we went. On towards home.
We laughed, we sang, we chatted all the way home. It finally was sinking in for all of us that she was home for good. My partner dropped us off and then took the car to get our little guy. My daughter and I unloaded the truck and got her things downstairs. As soon as my partner and son got back our little guy saw his big sister and grinned. Then went running towards her, shoving the dogs out of his way as his sister picked him up and hugged him tight.
Finally my first born was home. 6 years after this all began, through countless horrors, more emotional pain then any one she bare, through lies and loss, through many telling us to give up. She is home. Our family is one member stronger. Many times each of us wondered if this day would come. Some times I was scared to even hope. But I had made a promise. A promise that any loving mother would make and never break. To never give up on her children. To never give up on bringing them home.
We rose above it. Our abuser wanted to tear us apart. Knowing that would cause us emotional devastation that would last a lifetime. We will never get the past 6yrs back but she did not succeed in her goal. We over came. We survived and we are even closer now with a better understanding of each other as mother and daughter. We are no longer her victim in any way. We are survivors. We are a family forever and always.
So please cheer with us. MY DAUGHTER IS HOME!!!!
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The day was overcast and raining most of the way but our spirits soared as my partner and I sang and laughed our way to our daughter. Nothing could darken our day today. We drove up to the home and I walked to the door. She smiled and waved to us from the window, then invited us inside. We chatted with her foster caregiver for a few minutes, loaded up her things and then hugs were shared. I thanked her caregiver for watching over her for us. Then we all loaded up into the truck and away we went. On towards home.
We laughed, we sang, we chatted all the way home. It finally was sinking in for all of us that she was home for good. My partner dropped us off and then took the car to get our little guy. My daughter and I unloaded the truck and got her things downstairs. As soon as my partner and son got back our little guy saw his big sister and grinned. Then went running towards her, shoving the dogs out of his way as his sister picked him up and hugged him tight.
Finally my first born was home. 6 years after this all began, through countless horrors, more emotional pain then any one she bare, through lies and loss, through many telling us to give up. She is home. Our family is one member stronger. Many times each of us wondered if this day would come. Some times I was scared to even hope. But I had made a promise. A promise that any loving mother would make and never break. To never give up on her children. To never give up on bringing them home.
We rose above it. Our abuser wanted to tear us apart. Knowing that would cause us emotional devastation that would last a lifetime. We will never get the past 6yrs back but she did not succeed in her goal. We over came. We survived and we are even closer now with a better understanding of each other as mother and daughter. We are no longer her victim in any way. We are survivors. We are a family forever and always.
So please cheer with us. MY DAUGHTER IS HOME!!!!
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Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Guilty Until Proven Innocent
I always found it ironic how so many view the families who have had their children removed by CPS. Automatically they are view as having done something wrong. Automatically they are guilt of a crime. No trial, no jury, and in many cases NO EVIDENCE. But regardless of that they are guilty of a very serious crime and they receive their sentence immediately. A life sentence for them and for their family.
Think about it. How does society react when a child is abducted by a total stranger? The parents are usually investigated first and if no EVIDENCE is found then they are given help by the police. The family receives support by the community. If the parents break down crying they are supported, understood, they are seen as in the grieving process. If they contact the media for help it is seen as them working towards trying to find their child. Then as time goes on people rally behind them to help them find their children, help return them home. If the parents seek therapy to deal with their grief and emotions people view them as doing what they need too to keep on moving forward. If the child is found, even 10yrs later, they are reunited with their family, given supports to help them adjust. They are celebrated for being strong and never giving up. The person who abducted the child is then imprisoned.
Now flip that to CPS legally kidnapping a child. Someone is angry at another person, for what ever reason and makes a call to CPS with a false allegation. In many cases CPS then comes to the home with police and remove the child. I am not kidding here. No evidence, no investigation, no trial. Nothing. Just an angry vengeful person making an allegation and that parent is then seen as automatically guilty depending on the social worker. The parent has no recourse. They can't go to police because even police can be judgemental as soon as they hear CPS is involved. They will just tell you to go work with CPS. So what can the parent do if that social worker is not honest or doesn't really care about their job or the people they are supposedly suppose to help? If you are someone below the poverty line there is not much you can do. You can't turn to your community. As soon as most people in the community hear about CPS involvement they immediately think you did something wrong. It is the old adage of "CPS never takes children without a reason." Sadly this statement has made things ten times harder for the average person fighting against a system designed to make money off of children. If the parents break down emotionally from being torn from their children they are then seen as emotionally unstable. If they try to be strong and not show emotion for fear of it being turned against them then they are seen as emotionally distant. They can't turn to the media to help prove their innocence or to show any corruption being done because of strict laws protecting CPS. They can't seek therapy for fear it will also be used against them to show they are unstable to the point of needing therapy. In many cases children have no contact with their parents, siblings or so on for a long time. Contact is cut for not reason traumatizing the children and the parents. Causing long term damage to all involved. And if you think a lawyer can help think again. Many people CPS deals with are low income. The only lawyers they can get are legal aid. And many legal aid lawyers won't fight against CPS and will urge you to just sign over your parental rights. And if too much time elapses then the parent can still lose their children even if they prove their innocence. With the claim that the children have bonded to their caregivers so it would be detrimental to their mental well being to remove them. Yet this was never considered when they were torn from their parents.
Parents can and do lose complete custody of their children based solely on allegations. Unfounded allegations. Not only are they fighting the government who is suppose to protect them, but they are going through all the same horrors that parents of a kidnapped child is going through with none of the supports those parents receive. And if you try and say it is different because the parents know where their kids are, think again. Children die in CPS care. In my province alone over 700 children have died while under CPS jurisdiction in the past 14yrs. And that number does not include the HIGH rate of abuse of every kind that happens while in the foster system. Rarely are the police ever involved when children are abused while in care even if CPS has proof of it. This I know for a FACT. Then add to the fact that the parents know that if they can't fight the allegations, even when CPS has no proof, they have the added terrifying worry that their children will be adopted out to another couple. Given away to someone like some type of pet. If this happens their child's name can be changed and there is a very good chance they could never see their child again.
This is the reality of the system. I do believe CPS is needed. There are cases where they very much need to step in and help the children. But in reality you CAN lose your children permanently base just on a phone call from someone angry at you. No evidence needed. So next time you hear of someone fighting CPS for their kids please try to realize that if may not be as simple as the above saying leads you to believe. Instead of judging that person maybe try and give support or learn the truth. People are now realizing the truth in my situation and the emotional support I am now receiving is helping me to continue my fight to bring my children home. People who truly have done nothing wrong want people to see their evidence. They want the truth out there.
When one side is banned from making things public to seek help, or has all doors shut in their face because of stigma it really makes it difficult to determine the truth or to see justice served. And while that is happening the children continue to suffer and even die while the parents in many cases are in an emotional prison feeling like they have no options.
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Think about it. How does society react when a child is abducted by a total stranger? The parents are usually investigated first and if no EVIDENCE is found then they are given help by the police. The family receives support by the community. If the parents break down crying they are supported, understood, they are seen as in the grieving process. If they contact the media for help it is seen as them working towards trying to find their child. Then as time goes on people rally behind them to help them find their children, help return them home. If the parents seek therapy to deal with their grief and emotions people view them as doing what they need too to keep on moving forward. If the child is found, even 10yrs later, they are reunited with their family, given supports to help them adjust. They are celebrated for being strong and never giving up. The person who abducted the child is then imprisoned.
Now flip that to CPS legally kidnapping a child. Someone is angry at another person, for what ever reason and makes a call to CPS with a false allegation. In many cases CPS then comes to the home with police and remove the child. I am not kidding here. No evidence, no investigation, no trial. Nothing. Just an angry vengeful person making an allegation and that parent is then seen as automatically guilty depending on the social worker. The parent has no recourse. They can't go to police because even police can be judgemental as soon as they hear CPS is involved. They will just tell you to go work with CPS. So what can the parent do if that social worker is not honest or doesn't really care about their job or the people they are supposedly suppose to help? If you are someone below the poverty line there is not much you can do. You can't turn to your community. As soon as most people in the community hear about CPS involvement they immediately think you did something wrong. It is the old adage of "CPS never takes children without a reason." Sadly this statement has made things ten times harder for the average person fighting against a system designed to make money off of children. If the parents break down emotionally from being torn from their children they are then seen as emotionally unstable. If they try to be strong and not show emotion for fear of it being turned against them then they are seen as emotionally distant. They can't turn to the media to help prove their innocence or to show any corruption being done because of strict laws protecting CPS. They can't seek therapy for fear it will also be used against them to show they are unstable to the point of needing therapy. In many cases children have no contact with their parents, siblings or so on for a long time. Contact is cut for not reason traumatizing the children and the parents. Causing long term damage to all involved. And if you think a lawyer can help think again. Many people CPS deals with are low income. The only lawyers they can get are legal aid. And many legal aid lawyers won't fight against CPS and will urge you to just sign over your parental rights. And if too much time elapses then the parent can still lose their children even if they prove their innocence. With the claim that the children have bonded to their caregivers so it would be detrimental to their mental well being to remove them. Yet this was never considered when they were torn from their parents.
Parents can and do lose complete custody of their children based solely on allegations. Unfounded allegations. Not only are they fighting the government who is suppose to protect them, but they are going through all the same horrors that parents of a kidnapped child is going through with none of the supports those parents receive. And if you try and say it is different because the parents know where their kids are, think again. Children die in CPS care. In my province alone over 700 children have died while under CPS jurisdiction in the past 14yrs. And that number does not include the HIGH rate of abuse of every kind that happens while in the foster system. Rarely are the police ever involved when children are abused while in care even if CPS has proof of it. This I know for a FACT. Then add to the fact that the parents know that if they can't fight the allegations, even when CPS has no proof, they have the added terrifying worry that their children will be adopted out to another couple. Given away to someone like some type of pet. If this happens their child's name can be changed and there is a very good chance they could never see their child again.
This is the reality of the system. I do believe CPS is needed. There are cases where they very much need to step in and help the children. But in reality you CAN lose your children permanently base just on a phone call from someone angry at you. No evidence needed. So next time you hear of someone fighting CPS for their kids please try to realize that if may not be as simple as the above saying leads you to believe. Instead of judging that person maybe try and give support or learn the truth. People are now realizing the truth in my situation and the emotional support I am now receiving is helping me to continue my fight to bring my children home. People who truly have done nothing wrong want people to see their evidence. They want the truth out there.
When one side is banned from making things public to seek help, or has all doors shut in their face because of stigma it really makes it difficult to determine the truth or to see justice served. And while that is happening the children continue to suffer and even die while the parents in many cases are in an emotional prison feeling like they have no options.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2014
My Son's PGO Will Be Reviewed
First sorry to all our followers that I have not updated in so many months. There are so many things going on right now, still can't mention most of them till the final steps are taken but I can mention this.
We just found out 2 weeks ago about a new legislation in our province. It came into effect January of this year. It is called the Children's First Act:
http://humanservices.alberta.ca/16594.html
In all that towards the bottom it reads "Increase access to justice by allowing children under 12 to appeal court orders made under the Child, Youth and Family Enhancement Act, and allowing parents and guardians to apply for a review of a permanent guardianship order.
We just found out 2 weeks ago about a new legislation in our province. It came into effect January of this year. It is called the Children's First Act:
http://humanservices.alberta.ca/16594.html
In all that towards the bottom it reads "Increase access to justice by allowing children under 12 to appeal court orders made under the Child, Youth and Family Enhancement Act, and allowing parents and guardians to apply for a review of a permanent guardianship order.
Monday, February 10, 2014
There Will Be No Contact Between You and Your Brothers
Well finally, after 10 emails and a month and a half, my sons worker finally called me. And WOW there is no working with her at all. Her stance is they are going to finalize the adoption and that there will be no contact between my sons and there sister. None at all. She gave 3 reason but said the second reason is the main reason.
1. My daughter supposedly kept trying to talk about us during phone calls.
2. My daughter was supposedly trying to "coach" her brothers during phone calls
3. They want my sons to bond to them and basically forget their past.
The first one I really don't get. If they want to talk about their family why is that ever wrong? Making children suppress their thoughts and feelings, after all they have been through will have long term emotional damage. And why could they not talk about me. I never abused them. I am their mother. It makes no sense.
The second one she said that someone had evidence(she could not say what is was or even if she knew) that my daughter was coaching her brothers during calls. So I asked if she had investigated that allegation. She said no. She said it was not her job to review past decisions or check over allegations before her getting the file. So basically too lazy to do what my daughters new worker did. I said if that is the main one then she should do her due diligence and get the evidence that it did happen or if there is no evidence then reverse the decision. She refused. So I did her job for her. After I was done talking to her I called up my daughters foster care giver and asked her about what happened during phone calls. She let me know they lasted only a few minutes because they Skyped and that was never a solid thing. She let me know my daughter never said anything that could even remotely be thought of as coaching. And I was never told what she was supposedly coaching them for. She followed the rules set down by her worker. So I told her that since my daughter was being accused of coaching that would mean they are also accusing the foster caregiver of not supervising or other wise doing her job. The foster caregiver thinks this is just an excuse to cut contact between them.
The third one to me tells me they had no intention of keeping the promise to my daughter made to her. I told them in doing this they are continuing the psychological abuse of my children that my mother started. That doctors have found cutting contact between siblings who have grown up together is the equivalent to suffering a death of a family member. After all they have already suffered they are CHOOSING to continue to abuse my children and are OK with that.
I told her that it makes no sense that my little one can be here and my daughter return home and yet my sons can't especially since I never abused my kids in any way. She said the age is the factor. That my daughter is old enough to choose for herself where she wants to be where as my two older sons they need to choose the best possible place for them. I said that makes no sense because under that scenario my youngest is the most vulnerable since he can't vocalize to anyone. Where as my two older sons can vocalize. She said she was not going to talk about my youngest and that he was not a part of this. Yeah I can see that. Reason being is because he throws all their excuses out of the water since he is here and there are NO concerns and she knows because of that their excuses make no sense.
Repeatedly I would ask her a question and she would out right ignore the question going off on another subject YET get angry with me when I would interrupt her to show her the psychological damage she was doing or how her reasoning made no sense. It was 100% a one sided conversation. She was in no way open to ANYTHING. She wanted to get what she had down out and didn't want to hear any legitimate reasons as to why her reasoning did not make sense. Yet she would accuse me of not listening to her since I would interrupt with my counter argument or because I would call her on her fake excuses.
There are other things they were aware of that will make this adoption null and void, that she really didn't care about. Even when I offered her the evidence of such. She seemed more intent on talking to me like I didn't have a clue, making me seem like I was refusing to listen to her when I was calling her on her lack of doing her due diligence, or continuing the abuse of my kids. I have a feeling she was recording me since she had me on speaker but I am ok with that. It will all come out.
I just hate that after all my family has been through that she is ok, and able to look herself in the mirror, when it comes to continuing the emotional and psychological torture of my 3 children. She also stated that the reason she doesn't do emails is because I would take pieces from them and post them on here. And that I was twisting conversations and so on. I told her that is why I did cut and paste exactly from emails because then nothing can be twisted. To say they do not like the blog or the FB page is an understatement.
FaceBook Page
She also let me know she would no longer accept email communication from me. She also tried to out right lie by saying she never agreed to contact my community support worker. I called her out on that one. This is why she doesn't do emails. Unlike my daughters worker, she doesn't want the evidence of what she says in writing so it becomes a he said she said type of deal. I made it clear to her that even if I have to take this all the way to the supreme court I will. When the other things come out that are in the works that will make more sense. I told her their is precedence in this province where adoptions and PGO's were over turned and the kids sent home for these similar reasons. She didn't seem to care. She just kept repeating it is not her job to revisit previous choices by other workers. Which thanks to my daughters worker, who did just that, shows me that is false.
So the battle lines are drawn. I am not giving up. I never will. But I know the ones who will suffer the most is my children. I am dreading telling my daughter about the communication and the allegations made as to why they were cut. To know she will have no hope in contact till this all comes to a head is going to tear her heart in too.
How can anyone be ok with doing this to siblings?
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1. My daughter supposedly kept trying to talk about us during phone calls.
2. My daughter was supposedly trying to "coach" her brothers during phone calls
3. They want my sons to bond to them and basically forget their past.
The first one I really don't get. If they want to talk about their family why is that ever wrong? Making children suppress their thoughts and feelings, after all they have been through will have long term emotional damage. And why could they not talk about me. I never abused them. I am their mother. It makes no sense.
The second one she said that someone had evidence(she could not say what is was or even if she knew) that my daughter was coaching her brothers during calls. So I asked if she had investigated that allegation. She said no. She said it was not her job to review past decisions or check over allegations before her getting the file. So basically too lazy to do what my daughters new worker did. I said if that is the main one then she should do her due diligence and get the evidence that it did happen or if there is no evidence then reverse the decision. She refused. So I did her job for her. After I was done talking to her I called up my daughters foster care giver and asked her about what happened during phone calls. She let me know they lasted only a few minutes because they Skyped and that was never a solid thing. She let me know my daughter never said anything that could even remotely be thought of as coaching. And I was never told what she was supposedly coaching them for. She followed the rules set down by her worker. So I told her that since my daughter was being accused of coaching that would mean they are also accusing the foster caregiver of not supervising or other wise doing her job. The foster caregiver thinks this is just an excuse to cut contact between them.
The third one to me tells me they had no intention of keeping the promise to my daughter made to her. I told them in doing this they are continuing the psychological abuse of my children that my mother started. That doctors have found cutting contact between siblings who have grown up together is the equivalent to suffering a death of a family member. After all they have already suffered they are CHOOSING to continue to abuse my children and are OK with that.
I told her that it makes no sense that my little one can be here and my daughter return home and yet my sons can't especially since I never abused my kids in any way. She said the age is the factor. That my daughter is old enough to choose for herself where she wants to be where as my two older sons they need to choose the best possible place for them. I said that makes no sense because under that scenario my youngest is the most vulnerable since he can't vocalize to anyone. Where as my two older sons can vocalize. She said she was not going to talk about my youngest and that he was not a part of this. Yeah I can see that. Reason being is because he throws all their excuses out of the water since he is here and there are NO concerns and she knows because of that their excuses make no sense.
Repeatedly I would ask her a question and she would out right ignore the question going off on another subject YET get angry with me when I would interrupt her to show her the psychological damage she was doing or how her reasoning made no sense. It was 100% a one sided conversation. She was in no way open to ANYTHING. She wanted to get what she had down out and didn't want to hear any legitimate reasons as to why her reasoning did not make sense. Yet she would accuse me of not listening to her since I would interrupt with my counter argument or because I would call her on her fake excuses.
There are other things they were aware of that will make this adoption null and void, that she really didn't care about. Even when I offered her the evidence of such. She seemed more intent on talking to me like I didn't have a clue, making me seem like I was refusing to listen to her when I was calling her on her lack of doing her due diligence, or continuing the abuse of my kids. I have a feeling she was recording me since she had me on speaker but I am ok with that. It will all come out.
I just hate that after all my family has been through that she is ok, and able to look herself in the mirror, when it comes to continuing the emotional and psychological torture of my 3 children. She also stated that the reason she doesn't do emails is because I would take pieces from them and post them on here. And that I was twisting conversations and so on. I told her that is why I did cut and paste exactly from emails because then nothing can be twisted. To say they do not like the blog or the FB page is an understatement.
FaceBook Page
She also let me know she would no longer accept email communication from me. She also tried to out right lie by saying she never agreed to contact my community support worker. I called her out on that one. This is why she doesn't do emails. Unlike my daughters worker, she doesn't want the evidence of what she says in writing so it becomes a he said she said type of deal. I made it clear to her that even if I have to take this all the way to the supreme court I will. When the other things come out that are in the works that will make more sense. I told her their is precedence in this province where adoptions and PGO's were over turned and the kids sent home for these similar reasons. She didn't seem to care. She just kept repeating it is not her job to revisit previous choices by other workers. Which thanks to my daughters worker, who did just that, shows me that is false.
So the battle lines are drawn. I am not giving up. I never will. But I know the ones who will suffer the most is my children. I am dreading telling my daughter about the communication and the allegations made as to why they were cut. To know she will have no hope in contact till this all comes to a head is going to tear her heart in too.
How can anyone be ok with doing this to siblings?
Return To Map Of The Blog Page
Saturday, February 1, 2014
So Disappointed But Not Surprised
As you have read when I spoke to my sons worker in December the agreement was that she would set up a meeting with the couple who were caring for my sons and fill them in on everything. Some of the stuff they needed to be filled in on I can't mention on here yet but was very important for them to know because it could over turn any adoption that might happen. Which in turn would mean they would be out all the money for adopting my sons. They were also suppose to be informed that Yes my daughter is returning home and her PGO is being rescinded by no later then the end of this year, that we have been and continue to be actively pursuing the return of my sons since the PGO was granted based on perjured information from my mother and 2 workers, and that she was in fact abusing my children and actively doing Parental Alienation in regards to my children and I. She was suppose to inform them that we have been requesting visits with my sons the entire time and that contact was cut with NO court order. She was suppose to inform them that we are still requesting contact.
She was also suppose to call my Community Support Worker to verify a lot of these things. As of this past week my Community Support Worker has not been contacted. The only part of our agreement that I know she kept was calling and conversing with my daughters worker. And I only know that because my daughters worker informed me that they did talk.
I have sent her 9 emails since the new year requesting information and also requesting she pass on the pictures from Christmas so my sons know they were in no way forgotten and were missed and celebrated during the holidays. The only reply I got was one email a couple of weeks ago asking me what time that day would be good for her to call me. Nothing else was in the email. So I replied right away that any time worked but 1pm was the best since that is when my son goes for his nap. I never heard back.
Which leaves me very little choice. I informed the worker, when we talked in December, that I do in fact have the contact information for the couple who have my sons. I found it in the summer. I told her that I have not contacted them as of yet because I wanted to WORK WITH the workers. I wanted them to be the ones to talk to the couple. I wanted to be able to show the courts that I made every effort to work with in the system regardless of the fact that the system seriously failed myself and my children causing them and our family to go through sever physical and emotional abuse and stress. I told her that if she was not going to give them the truth so they could make an informed decision about whether to finalize the adoption of my sons or not then I would. I have friends who are foster parents and adoptive parents and all of them say the same thing. Knowing the facts of this case they could not in good conscious adopt my sons knowing that they were aiding the continued psychological abuse that my mother was hoping to continue. That they could not rip two boys from a loving mother and family who had never abused her children, just needed direction. Add to that the fact that when the other two things in the works happens that the PGO will be thrown out and the adoption in turn thrown out since it is based on the PGO being granted. That I have proven to never give up and will fight this for as long as it takes to reunite my children who should never have had contact ripped from them.
The worker assured me the PGO was not finalized yet and that she would talk to them before the end of the month. That it was not a conversation she wanted to have over the phone or via emails. Well I have had no contact with her assuring me of that. So I sent her a 9th email on Friday acknowledging our agreement from December and informing her that if she had not contacted me by Wednesday morning that I would be contacting the couple myself, which I would rather the worker did, to give them all the information along with copies of all the evidence proving the perjury. Along with informing them how we plan to fight for as long as it takes and so on.
So now I wait. I am so disappointed. I was so hoping this worker would be like my daughters new worker who has been nothing but honest and transparent and has shown that she wants what is best for my daughter and my family. I am hoping she contacts me before Wednesday but I am not holding my breathe. I have proven over and over that I want to work with the workers if they would just be honest and help my family. But other then my daughters worker, I have not seen that happen.
Map To The Blog Page
She was also suppose to call my Community Support Worker to verify a lot of these things. As of this past week my Community Support Worker has not been contacted. The only part of our agreement that I know she kept was calling and conversing with my daughters worker. And I only know that because my daughters worker informed me that they did talk.
I have sent her 9 emails since the new year requesting information and also requesting she pass on the pictures from Christmas so my sons know they were in no way forgotten and were missed and celebrated during the holidays. The only reply I got was one email a couple of weeks ago asking me what time that day would be good for her to call me. Nothing else was in the email. So I replied right away that any time worked but 1pm was the best since that is when my son goes for his nap. I never heard back.
Which leaves me very little choice. I informed the worker, when we talked in December, that I do in fact have the contact information for the couple who have my sons. I found it in the summer. I told her that I have not contacted them as of yet because I wanted to WORK WITH the workers. I wanted them to be the ones to talk to the couple. I wanted to be able to show the courts that I made every effort to work with in the system regardless of the fact that the system seriously failed myself and my children causing them and our family to go through sever physical and emotional abuse and stress. I told her that if she was not going to give them the truth so they could make an informed decision about whether to finalize the adoption of my sons or not then I would. I have friends who are foster parents and adoptive parents and all of them say the same thing. Knowing the facts of this case they could not in good conscious adopt my sons knowing that they were aiding the continued psychological abuse that my mother was hoping to continue. That they could not rip two boys from a loving mother and family who had never abused her children, just needed direction. Add to that the fact that when the other two things in the works happens that the PGO will be thrown out and the adoption in turn thrown out since it is based on the PGO being granted. That I have proven to never give up and will fight this for as long as it takes to reunite my children who should never have had contact ripped from them.
The worker assured me the PGO was not finalized yet and that she would talk to them before the end of the month. That it was not a conversation she wanted to have over the phone or via emails. Well I have had no contact with her assuring me of that. So I sent her a 9th email on Friday acknowledging our agreement from December and informing her that if she had not contacted me by Wednesday morning that I would be contacting the couple myself, which I would rather the worker did, to give them all the information along with copies of all the evidence proving the perjury. Along with informing them how we plan to fight for as long as it takes and so on.
So now I wait. I am so disappointed. I was so hoping this worker would be like my daughters new worker who has been nothing but honest and transparent and has shown that she wants what is best for my daughter and my family. I am hoping she contacts me before Wednesday but I am not holding my breathe. I have proven over and over that I want to work with the workers if they would just be honest and help my family. But other then my daughters worker, I have not seen that happen.
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