My Oldest Son Is Another Year Older

My sweet oldest son is turning 8yrs old today.  8.  WOW.  Which means it has been just about 2 whole years since I have last seen you, hugged you, let you know how much you are loved, missed, wanted and just how special you are.  I have not forgotten you my son.  I never could.  I never could forget your smile that would not only light up your entire face but an entire room.  I could never forget your beautiful laugh that could affect everyone around you and brighten their hearts.  I could never forget your hugs that could make even the cloudiest day bright.

This year is harder because thanks to a very dear friend and your rescuer, who I have known since I was a young child, I have found out that you have gone through so much pain.  Emotional, physical and psychological pain.  Pain no child should have to endure.  I want you to know that I know you miss me.  I miss you too. Nothing your grandma could say or do will change that.  I never wanted to be erased from your life and will be striving even harder to see you as soon as I can.

You have done nothing wrong.  I know you hurt in ways people can not see any more.  I wish I could place my arms around you and help you to feel safe and loved.  I wish I could let you know you are allowed to feel the way you do.  I wish I could let you know that you are special, even now.  I wish I could put the smile back on your face that you used to always have.  I hope to be able to do that soon. 

I have not forgotten you my son. Neither has Donald Duck(I know you know who I mean).  We know today is your B-day.  We love you.  I hope that some how at some time you will see this and know this.  I am so thankful that you are no longer suffering at your grandma's hands and voice.  And I am so sorry you went through all that you have, no child deserves what you had to endure.  Happy B-day son.  Hopefully this year we can make some of your dreams come true.

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