Confusing title I know but when you read what is going on you will understand. So at the last trial conference we got the judge who's preconceived notion is that I am going through all these years of hell just to show that CPS screwed me over and not because of what is in the best interest of my sons and my entire family. Yeah I was just as happy about that. lol The conference went just as well as the last one he oversaw but this time I stood up to both the lawyers who kept fudging the facts(for example my sons lawyer said that my daughter came home because she is 16 and because contact was always ongoing the entire time she had been in care between her and I. Ummm huhhh. Have you read your own file? No I didn't say that. But I did interrupt her and tell the judge that was not true at all. That I didn't have contact with her from 09-Nov 2012. There were tons of other things they made up or changed in the facts but you get the idea. Anyway the judge was very adamant that he wanted me to get rid of most of my witness list INCLUDING social workers. Yup he doesn't want me calling the social workers involved in the PGO or even after. Just the current ones. But I didn't back down. Trust me it was hard. But I didn't. I told the judge I was not removing any of the social workers and I was not removing most of my witness list. So he told me that he would not give me the trial and court days I wanted then. I still would not back down even with that threat. So finally after I continued to be talked down to by the lawyers and by the judge, after he out right stated that what I was saying was not true, even with no evidence on hand, I told him that I would not put myself through 7yrs of hell fighting for my children for a vendetta. That I would not trigger my PTSD over and over again and put myself in situations that I know will cause me high anxiety(courtrooms, trial conference rooms where I am there with no support in a room with the departments male lawyer and male judge. That I am doing all this and continuing this fight on my own without a lawyer and with mental illnesses. Fighting for my sons for 7yr which is way longer then a lot of families in my position.
At this point he turned to the departments lawyer and instructed us all to write a letter. Describing what we had to prove in court and why we are calling each witness and how that witness will help to prove these things in court. We were to submit them at the end of the month of February. So this past Friday I received the one from the departments lawyer. Not much in it but he does state he thinks the only witness I need to call was the social worker who was working with my daughter and moved her home. She is on my list to call along with 3 other social workers. Of course he only wants me calling her. The fewer witnesses I call the better for their case.
The lawyer for my sons had a much more interesting letter. I swear they either just don't open anything to look at any of the evidence I sent or what is in CPS records OR they just make it up as they go along because they really don't care about truth. Just about winning. Either way here is some interesting parts of her letter:
"Factual Background – Context of the Application
The last supervised visit between "the mother"(removed my name) and the boys occurred on November 10, 2010. "
SUPERVISED VISIT??? I had been having unsupervised visits with my sons for well over a year at the time of the trial. Every week unless denied by the social worker for a false complaint. I know for her convincing the judge that my visits were supervised up to the trial looks better for them. But it is a complete lie. They know a huge issue for them also is that I never got a termination visit. They also know that the files show that my last visit occurred the last week of October. The very next week was the trial. The following week when I emailed for my next visit I was ignored. They had no court orders to cut off my visits. They did it for no reason. They know this is a huge hurtle. So they have to try and make up something. It will be interesting how they make up a visit that never happened. I never saw my children Nov 10th.
"The children have been in their current placement since June, 2013. Adoption proceedings have been put on hold pending the resolution of this action. "
This one had me laugh a little. Seriously you are my sons lawyer and you don't even know the month they were placed with the couple that wants to adopt them? They were placed there in January of 2013 and the adoption ceremony was in February. Thanks to my daughter not only do I know that I have seen the ceremony on her I-pod. It was dated.
"The mother" (removed my name) is in a stable relationship with a man that "her sons"(removed their names) have never met."
Ummm what? Did you not get the evidence I sent? Where it shows MANY videos, audio tapes and pictures with my partner and my sons? For those reading this if you have any doubt here is a link to my FB page dedicated to my fight for my children showing pictures of my sons with my partner and I along with many videos:
FB Page
So is she trying to deny a whole year and a half of bonding, visits and family times because it will better her case? This is suppose to be my childrens lawyer. She is suppose to fight for their best interest. But instead of really doing the work she is either just writing down what ever the workers are telling her without doing the investigative work or she really has no problem making this up as she goes along. Either way she is not fighting for my childrens rights by denying their life experiences to better her case.
"The mother" has an infant (a half sibling to "the two in care") and 15 year old daughter (a full sibling to "the two in care" whom they have not seen in several years) in her full-time care."
First when I hear infant I think of baby. Under a year old. My son is 2yrs old. My daughter is 16yrs old. And I can tell you teenagers do not like it when people tell them they are younger then they are. Also "several years" usually means more then 3. My daughter last had contact with her brothers in May of 2013. So it has been less then 2yrs.
I know this is just the start of how much they will twist and lie to keep my sons. They are making things up out of thin air and relying on the judicial system to ignore the facts and the truth. And sadly usually it does. I am hoping that for my family for once the judicial system will look honestly at what has happened to my family. I am planning on bringing a family photo my partner and I had done with my two sons to the next trial conference just to show the judge that I am not the one lying and making things up.
I continue to struggle up this seemingly impossible mountain to fight for my family. I hope what we go through will help others as well.
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Sunday, March 1, 2015
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Ending of 2014
What a whirlwind of a year. This time last year we only had visits with my daughter and had no idea that there could even be a chance at having her brothers PGO reviewed. So much has changed since then and so many more things are going to be happening soon.
My daughter is 16yrs old now and her own person. She is no longer owned by CPS. That is huge to us. There is no more threat to her and her little brother. No gift could be worth more to her or us then the judge granting her her freedom. My sons are now on a path that will hopefully bring them home. Our next court date is in late January for another trial conference. CPS is still trying to find excuses as to why they are keeping them from their only mother and from their siblings. All of their reasons basically show that they see my kids as property and money objects. So my 16yr old daughter is safe here, my 2yr old son is safe here but my 10yr old son and my 7yr old son are not safe here? All because they sold them to another family and need to save face because they know they really screwed up with my family? WOW.
The past few months I have had the privilege(hard fought too because CPS of course did not want me to see their lies in print or the police too either lol) to read two more different versions of their stories of my sons. Depending on who they are talking too shows how each story changes. Even in the last trial conference my sons lawyer showed her lack of knowledge for the case by stating that my daughters case is different because she is older and because we had contact the entire time she has been in care. UMMM really?! Have you not read your own files on this case? My daughter and I went through 3-4 years of no contact at all because of how much she was brainwashed against me. No contact at all. And now she is home, has none of the psychotic issues CPS workers were so convinced she had that they had her on antipsychotics. WOW now she is happy and healthy and on no meds and out of CPS clutches. Considering how little each person on this case, be it worker or lawyer, really truly knows about the case, let alone the children they are suppose to be protecting sure explains why there are so many different, varying stories with no evidence for any of them. They just make it up as they go along. And the ones that continue to suffer is my children and my family. Hopefully this new year with the trial we will see results that will bring my sons home and this torture of my family ended.
As to the abuse investigations we had a great year for that as well. Thanks to the wonderful CPS workers lying to police, my sons who the police were not going to do an abuse investigation on, now have had their investigation reopened because of me fighting in court to disclose the CPS files that the CPS workers said had no evidence of abuse in them. There was enough evidence in them that the police then went to court and fought and won in December to force CPS to disclose all their files to the police. ALL OF THEM. They were given 14 days to disclose everything they had on my children. YEAH!!!!! Wonder how they felt standing in court and having to explain to a judge why they told the police that there was no evidence of abuse of my children in their files only to be shown as lying and being forced to now disclose everything. We did such a happy dance when we got that news.
Along with that is this year we also helped 16 families at Thanksgiving and also 50 families at Christmas with hampers thanks to awesome and dedicate friends and wonderful communities. My divorce was also official October 31st of this year which leads me into another announcement. My fiancé asked me if we could get married sooner rather then later. Fighting for my kids to come home has been my main focus for years. We have now been engaged for 5yrs. We always planned to get married when my sons came home. We had promised them that. But we also have our 2yr old to think about and now my 16yr old daughter as well. So we are applying to get a copy of the divorce decree and then getting a marriage license. We are hoping to be married by the end of January. We are not having a wedding. Just us and our best friends as witnesses. We will have a full wedding when my sons come home just as we promised and renew our vows then along with making a vow to our family to never again be separated like this. We are having a party after as many of our friends asked to celebrate with us.
We might even get to have another wonderful surprise if my dad can swing it. He is going to try to find a way to attend. I so hope he can. It has been 28yrs since I last saw him. 26yrs of which we had no contact at all. So not only could this be a wedding but also a huge overdue reunion. My daughter is so excited about that. It would be a dream come true if he could attend. The only thing that could top that is my sons being there but I know CPS won't even consider that for them or us. They don't want to lose any more of their slippery grip on my children then they already have.
So a lot has happened this year. So much good stuff I lose count. And some much good stuff happening soon to come as well. To my sons I miss you both so much. We have your Christmas presents and stockings here for you waiting in your room. I am so proud of you both and hopefully 2015 will be the year we are finally reunited and you can come home. I promised you I would not stop fighting to bring you home and even though you both have been through hell and back and lied to so much about me, I am still here. I never gave up. I love you both with my whole heart and I can't wait for you and your sister to be reunited. She misses you both and I can't wait for you to meet your little brother. Happy New Year my sons.
And Happy New Year to everyone who reads this.
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My daughter is 16yrs old now and her own person. She is no longer owned by CPS. That is huge to us. There is no more threat to her and her little brother. No gift could be worth more to her or us then the judge granting her her freedom. My sons are now on a path that will hopefully bring them home. Our next court date is in late January for another trial conference. CPS is still trying to find excuses as to why they are keeping them from their only mother and from their siblings. All of their reasons basically show that they see my kids as property and money objects. So my 16yr old daughter is safe here, my 2yr old son is safe here but my 10yr old son and my 7yr old son are not safe here? All because they sold them to another family and need to save face because they know they really screwed up with my family? WOW.
The past few months I have had the privilege(hard fought too because CPS of course did not want me to see their lies in print or the police too either lol) to read two more different versions of their stories of my sons. Depending on who they are talking too shows how each story changes. Even in the last trial conference my sons lawyer showed her lack of knowledge for the case by stating that my daughters case is different because she is older and because we had contact the entire time she has been in care. UMMM really?! Have you not read your own files on this case? My daughter and I went through 3-4 years of no contact at all because of how much she was brainwashed against me. No contact at all. And now she is home, has none of the psychotic issues CPS workers were so convinced she had that they had her on antipsychotics. WOW now she is happy and healthy and on no meds and out of CPS clutches. Considering how little each person on this case, be it worker or lawyer, really truly knows about the case, let alone the children they are suppose to be protecting sure explains why there are so many different, varying stories with no evidence for any of them. They just make it up as they go along. And the ones that continue to suffer is my children and my family. Hopefully this new year with the trial we will see results that will bring my sons home and this torture of my family ended.
As to the abuse investigations we had a great year for that as well. Thanks to the wonderful CPS workers lying to police, my sons who the police were not going to do an abuse investigation on, now have had their investigation reopened because of me fighting in court to disclose the CPS files that the CPS workers said had no evidence of abuse in them. There was enough evidence in them that the police then went to court and fought and won in December to force CPS to disclose all their files to the police. ALL OF THEM. They were given 14 days to disclose everything they had on my children. YEAH!!!!! Wonder how they felt standing in court and having to explain to a judge why they told the police that there was no evidence of abuse of my children in their files only to be shown as lying and being forced to now disclose everything. We did such a happy dance when we got that news.
Along with that is this year we also helped 16 families at Thanksgiving and also 50 families at Christmas with hampers thanks to awesome and dedicate friends and wonderful communities. My divorce was also official October 31st of this year which leads me into another announcement. My fiancé asked me if we could get married sooner rather then later. Fighting for my kids to come home has been my main focus for years. We have now been engaged for 5yrs. We always planned to get married when my sons came home. We had promised them that. But we also have our 2yr old to think about and now my 16yr old daughter as well. So we are applying to get a copy of the divorce decree and then getting a marriage license. We are hoping to be married by the end of January. We are not having a wedding. Just us and our best friends as witnesses. We will have a full wedding when my sons come home just as we promised and renew our vows then along with making a vow to our family to never again be separated like this. We are having a party after as many of our friends asked to celebrate with us.
We might even get to have another wonderful surprise if my dad can swing it. He is going to try to find a way to attend. I so hope he can. It has been 28yrs since I last saw him. 26yrs of which we had no contact at all. So not only could this be a wedding but also a huge overdue reunion. My daughter is so excited about that. It would be a dream come true if he could attend. The only thing that could top that is my sons being there but I know CPS won't even consider that for them or us. They don't want to lose any more of their slippery grip on my children then they already have.
So a lot has happened this year. So much good stuff I lose count. And some much good stuff happening soon to come as well. To my sons I miss you both so much. We have your Christmas presents and stockings here for you waiting in your room. I am so proud of you both and hopefully 2015 will be the year we are finally reunited and you can come home. I promised you I would not stop fighting to bring you home and even though you both have been through hell and back and lied to so much about me, I am still here. I never gave up. I love you both with my whole heart and I can't wait for you and your sister to be reunited. She misses you both and I can't wait for you to meet your little brother. Happy New Year my sons.
And Happy New Year to everyone who reads this.
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Thursday, December 18, 2014
The Best Christmas Present EVER!!!
Today was an amazing day from start to exhausting finish. The best part was that we headed to court today to do something we had been fighting 6 long years for. To remove my daughters PGO or for those who don't know what that is, Permanent Gaurdianship Order. It means she is no longer the property of CPS. She is now in every legal sense my daughter and her own person. We got to the courthouse and waited for court to begin. My daughters worker showed up and we were all smiles though my daughter was nervous about the possibility of the judge talking to her. We waited our turn and within 30 minutes we were before the judge. Usually I am always serious in court but this time I just could not help smiling like a mad woman lol.My daughters worker let the judge know that we were all there to remove the PGO. The judge smiled at us both and said Congradulations and then asked my daughter if she had anything to say. Her reply was short and sweet and to the point. She just said "I am just happy to finally be home." The judge, still smiling, then said the PGO is removed, You can go home. We thanked him and then left the room and everyone hugged. We were free and one more step closer to healing our family and to correcting all the hell that had been done to us.
But that is not all. We had to hurry home. Two months ago my best friend and I started a group called Medicine Hat Holiday Helpers on Facebook. Our goal was to help families in need during the 3 main holidays during the year. Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. Thanks to the overwhelming generosity of our community we had helped 16 families this past Thanksgiving. Well this Christmas we didn't do just as well, we blew all expectations out of the water. Thanks to over 40 businesses and Medicine Hat and surrounding communities citizens we are able to help 50 families. 50!!!! Aren't people amazing.
This evening was not just our first deliveries but our group was also being filmed by Chat TV. The local tv news. It will be on tomorrow evening. I won't be on it this time. I don't do the deliveries. I can't handle the Thank You's. But I was also on it when we were first approached by them in November when they asked to follow our groups journey in helping so many. 4 of the 50 families volunteered to be filmed so while everyone was out doing that my daughter and I worked hard to take care of the kids of the delivery people and to fill the next afternoons hampers. Here is the second miracle for our family. One of our delivery and amazing volunteer people showed up when they were done and we were chatting. Then a man, I didn't get a good look, rushed up onto my deck and quickly taped something to my door. We were all in shock but went out to look at what was there. It was a thank you card thanking us for all we were doing and it had several gift cards listed with my families name on it.
I started to cry. Only my 3 closest friends knew that earlier this week we had gotten notice that a check we had been expecting was not coming. That check I was planning my families Christmas presents with and also a large Christmas dinner for my family and several of our friends who otherwise were not having one. When I received that news I cried and was so worried about my own family's Holidays but it did not change my commitment to the families we were helping. I put that worry at the back of my mind planning to address it when I was done all the hampers for everyone. This person could not have know any of this. Yet here they did something so kind for a total stranger. Not realizing that they just gave us a Christmas we otherwise would not have had.
So two totally incredible things happened today. Even my daughter was crying and so happy Best day ever she says. She said only one thing could top it and that is her brothers coming home. We have 3 more days of deliveries to do. But for us we already have our amazing Holiday Miracles happen.
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But that is not all. We had to hurry home. Two months ago my best friend and I started a group called Medicine Hat Holiday Helpers on Facebook. Our goal was to help families in need during the 3 main holidays during the year. Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. Thanks to the overwhelming generosity of our community we had helped 16 families this past Thanksgiving. Well this Christmas we didn't do just as well, we blew all expectations out of the water. Thanks to over 40 businesses and Medicine Hat and surrounding communities citizens we are able to help 50 families. 50!!!! Aren't people amazing.
This evening was not just our first deliveries but our group was also being filmed by Chat TV. The local tv news. It will be on tomorrow evening. I won't be on it this time. I don't do the deliveries. I can't handle the Thank You's. But I was also on it when we were first approached by them in November when they asked to follow our groups journey in helping so many. 4 of the 50 families volunteered to be filmed so while everyone was out doing that my daughter and I worked hard to take care of the kids of the delivery people and to fill the next afternoons hampers. Here is the second miracle for our family. One of our delivery and amazing volunteer people showed up when they were done and we were chatting. Then a man, I didn't get a good look, rushed up onto my deck and quickly taped something to my door. We were all in shock but went out to look at what was there. It was a thank you card thanking us for all we were doing and it had several gift cards listed with my families name on it.
I started to cry. Only my 3 closest friends knew that earlier this week we had gotten notice that a check we had been expecting was not coming. That check I was planning my families Christmas presents with and also a large Christmas dinner for my family and several of our friends who otherwise were not having one. When I received that news I cried and was so worried about my own family's Holidays but it did not change my commitment to the families we were helping. I put that worry at the back of my mind planning to address it when I was done all the hampers for everyone. This person could not have know any of this. Yet here they did something so kind for a total stranger. Not realizing that they just gave us a Christmas we otherwise would not have had.
So two totally incredible things happened today. Even my daughter was crying and so happy Best day ever she says. She said only one thing could top it and that is her brothers coming home. We have 3 more days of deliveries to do. But for us we already have our amazing Holiday Miracles happen.
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Wednesday, November 26, 2014
We Are Going To Trial
So yesterday was another day in court in this never ending saga. It was pretty interesting too. We arrived about 20 minutes early and met up with our community support worker. About 10 minutes to needing to go in my sons worker walks over and starts asking me about if we consented or not or being assessed. She said she thought she remember us saying we did. She also went on to say that the assessment process done here in our area by CPS is totally different and not near as stringent as the one done in their city. We let her know that we have no problem being assessed in any way. Our only requirement is our Community Support Person be a part of every aspect of it. We also let her know that we had multiple workers who have been through our whole house and been interviewed multiple times. She then said hers would require us to be interviewed separately. This seemed strange to us since we have already been deemed fit for both my 2yr old son and my 16yr old daughter to be here. But we had no problem with any of it. Then at 5 minutes too I told her we needed to go in.
Once we were seated the departments lawyer came over and asked me what the plan was. I said if the department is willing to work with me on returning my sons to my home then we can go to a JDR and work towards that. He said not a chance. So I told him trial then. He then said he would state that to the judge. I then let him know that I had filed with the courts the request to view the assessment of my sons and contact their assessor. Plus I was requesting visitation for my daughter and myself. He went back to wait till we were called up.
When we got called up the lawyer for the department stated that I was wanting to go to trial since the department would not consider returning my children to me. The judge asked him to clarify if it was just for now that they won't consider it or never. He said never. So the judge let us know we would need to be in court again in the middle of Dec to book at trial date. Then he addressed the assessment. He asked the department what their reasoning was this time for not disclosing it to me. Their only reason was me posting information to the blog and on the FB page. The judge did not seem concerned. He just said he would make an order so I can't post information from the assessment onto social media or disclose it to anyone else other then counsel. I have never had a problem with that. He was the same judge as the one who allowed me to disclose to the police. As soon as I saw him I relaxed because even though we don't always get the ruling we want for everything we want with him, he has always been very nice, respectful and fair. So when he let me know I couldn't post information from the assessment I said no problem. Then the department requested that I not be allowed to contact the assessor of my children. This I disagree with because if I had a lawyer they would have the right to talk to them. So the judge stated till a trial date is set I can not contact the assessor but that issue will be addressed again in Dec. I thought that was fair.
So then the judge said the departments lawyer and I need to discuss our witness list and who we plan to call to the stand for the future trial. I agreed to that. I then asked about visitation for my daughter and he said he could not address that right now as the department has the PGO. That was it. So we are now headed to trial.
When we left the courtroom my sons worker tried to bait me with statements of "I understand how hard this is for you and what you are going through". I asked her how she can understand if she had never had her kids legally kidnapped. She then said she understood as a mother my plight. My reply was "you can't if you have never had your kids taken". And she said I can understand since you are the bio mom. Bio mom? I am their only mom. And I said as such. I looked her in the eye and said very calmly "I am their only mom." And she said "In my world you are only the bio mom." So glad I don't live in her world. I feel sorry for any families living in her world as she is ok destroying families and kids to make a buck. Her own words confirmed it when she said "I still have a job to do". Obviously she has forgotten that CPS is suppose to be about keeping families together as much as possible and only after exhausting all efforts should kids be taken from their families. Hmmm convenient how so many social workers forget that part of their job. I walked away as I was not going to allow her to try and bait me. For her my children are just a job. For me my children are my everything. And that is how it should be. I did make it clear to her though, and I hope she passes it on to the family who has my sons, that I will never stop. I will always appeal, I will always keep coming back till my sons are home. I will never go away. They are my children no matter what a piece of paper says that was granted through perjury and abuse.
So to trial we go.
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Once we were seated the departments lawyer came over and asked me what the plan was. I said if the department is willing to work with me on returning my sons to my home then we can go to a JDR and work towards that. He said not a chance. So I told him trial then. He then said he would state that to the judge. I then let him know that I had filed with the courts the request to view the assessment of my sons and contact their assessor. Plus I was requesting visitation for my daughter and myself. He went back to wait till we were called up.
When we got called up the lawyer for the department stated that I was wanting to go to trial since the department would not consider returning my children to me. The judge asked him to clarify if it was just for now that they won't consider it or never. He said never. So the judge let us know we would need to be in court again in the middle of Dec to book at trial date. Then he addressed the assessment. He asked the department what their reasoning was this time for not disclosing it to me. Their only reason was me posting information to the blog and on the FB page. The judge did not seem concerned. He just said he would make an order so I can't post information from the assessment onto social media or disclose it to anyone else other then counsel. I have never had a problem with that. He was the same judge as the one who allowed me to disclose to the police. As soon as I saw him I relaxed because even though we don't always get the ruling we want for everything we want with him, he has always been very nice, respectful and fair. So when he let me know I couldn't post information from the assessment I said no problem. Then the department requested that I not be allowed to contact the assessor of my children. This I disagree with because if I had a lawyer they would have the right to talk to them. So the judge stated till a trial date is set I can not contact the assessor but that issue will be addressed again in Dec. I thought that was fair.
So then the judge said the departments lawyer and I need to discuss our witness list and who we plan to call to the stand for the future trial. I agreed to that. I then asked about visitation for my daughter and he said he could not address that right now as the department has the PGO. That was it. So we are now headed to trial.
When we left the courtroom my sons worker tried to bait me with statements of "I understand how hard this is for you and what you are going through". I asked her how she can understand if she had never had her kids legally kidnapped. She then said she understood as a mother my plight. My reply was "you can't if you have never had your kids taken". And she said I can understand since you are the bio mom. Bio mom? I am their only mom. And I said as such. I looked her in the eye and said very calmly "I am their only mom." And she said "In my world you are only the bio mom." So glad I don't live in her world. I feel sorry for any families living in her world as she is ok destroying families and kids to make a buck. Her own words confirmed it when she said "I still have a job to do". Obviously she has forgotten that CPS is suppose to be about keeping families together as much as possible and only after exhausting all efforts should kids be taken from their families. Hmmm convenient how so many social workers forget that part of their job. I walked away as I was not going to allow her to try and bait me. For her my children are just a job. For me my children are my everything. And that is how it should be. I did make it clear to her though, and I hope she passes it on to the family who has my sons, that I will never stop. I will always appeal, I will always keep coming back till my sons are home. I will never go away. They are my children no matter what a piece of paper says that was granted through perjury and abuse.
So to trial we go.
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Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Sweet 16 Today
WOW to think it has been 16yrs since you were placed in my arms for the very first time is just amazing to me. You have grown into such a strong, beautiful and intelligent young lady. And the happiest part of all this is that you are home.
I am so glad you had so much fun at your party on Saturday. The makeovers of you and your friend went so well with a lot of giggling and smiles. And then the taco party after was just full of laughter and fun. You are picking some really good friends, which really impresses me. I hope you continue to choose your friends just as wisely.
Every day I am seeing you blossom as you move past the last 6yrs and rediscover who you truly have always been. Some times you stumble or make bad choices but you are also quick to apologize(seems to be a rare trait now a days) and work towards fixing what ever was the issue. You have so many goals and dreams for your future and all of them are achievable. You are the only one who can hold yourself back now. And I will do all I can to help you achieve your dreams.
You are such an inspiration to so many, and you don't even know it. You have endure so much in your short life, yet you want to use your experiences to show others what can be over come. You refuse to be held back. You love to help others, and have so much love for animals.
I am very very proud of you. I am proud to say you are my daughter. I will always be here for you. I will always be your mom. I hate the pain I see in your eyes when you talk about your brothers and them missing another b-day. I hope this is the last one. I hope this time next year our family will finally be together and justice served. I will never stop fighting for your rights to have your brothers home and in your life or their rights to be home.
Happy 16th. I can't wait to see what your future brings.
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I am so glad you had so much fun at your party on Saturday. The makeovers of you and your friend went so well with a lot of giggling and smiles. And then the taco party after was just full of laughter and fun. You are picking some really good friends, which really impresses me. I hope you continue to choose your friends just as wisely.
Every day I am seeing you blossom as you move past the last 6yrs and rediscover who you truly have always been. Some times you stumble or make bad choices but you are also quick to apologize(seems to be a rare trait now a days) and work towards fixing what ever was the issue. You have so many goals and dreams for your future and all of them are achievable. You are the only one who can hold yourself back now. And I will do all I can to help you achieve your dreams.
You are such an inspiration to so many, and you don't even know it. You have endure so much in your short life, yet you want to use your experiences to show others what can be over come. You refuse to be held back. You love to help others, and have so much love for animals.
I am very very proud of you. I am proud to say you are my daughter. I will always be here for you. I will always be your mom. I hate the pain I see in your eyes when you talk about your brothers and them missing another b-day. I hope this is the last one. I hope this time next year our family will finally be together and justice served. I will never stop fighting for your rights to have your brothers home and in your life or their rights to be home.
Happy 16th. I can't wait to see what your future brings.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014
OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!!!!
HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!! I am officially a divorced woman from my ex. Finally. Definitely a long time in coming. These past 6yrs I have been concentrating on my battle for my children, as many of you know. That was my main priority. Then added to that was the police investigations and the birth of my fourth child. Getting a divorce was on my to do list but not priority since we have no contact. Well when he was at the PGO Review court date they approached us about the divorce. We agreed to pay half of the divorce costs with him and his girlfriend. A couple of weeks later we met at the court house and filed it. Just got the paperwork in the mail today. As of the 31st of this month I am officially a divorced woman.
I know it really doesn't change anything. Every day will continue to go on as normal. But it is another step done. Another stress off my shoulders.
And for those wondering when my partner and I will get married we don't have a date yet. When we got engaged we promised the kids we would not marry till they were home and could be a part of the wedding. Dedrick and Ronan were very excited about that. Dedrick was excited because he wanted to be Best Man. Ronan was excited about being the ring bearer. Just as I promised them I would never stop fighting to bring them home, I am not changing this either. Isabeau is home now but Dedrick and Ronan are not. That plan has not changed. We will be getting married but not till they are back home where they belong. Who is ready to celebrate with me??!! lol
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I know it really doesn't change anything. Every day will continue to go on as normal. But it is another step done. Another stress off my shoulders.
And for those wondering when my partner and I will get married we don't have a date yet. When we got engaged we promised the kids we would not marry till they were home and could be a part of the wedding. Dedrick and Ronan were very excited about that. Dedrick was excited because he wanted to be Best Man. Ronan was excited about being the ring bearer. Just as I promised them I would never stop fighting to bring them home, I am not changing this either. Isabeau is home now but Dedrick and Ronan are not. That plan has not changed. We will be getting married but not till they are back home where they belong. Who is ready to celebrate with me??!! lol
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Saturday, October 18, 2014
WOW 7yrs Old Now
WOW yesterday you turned 7yrs old. I have now missed over half of your life and I am so sorry for that my son. I am still fighting hard to bring you home and will never stop doing so.
Yesterday was an incredible day. I made a butter pecan cake for you. I remember how much you loved it when I would make butter pecan cookies. So thought you would enjoy this cake a lot. Your little brother had a blast getting messy, just like you used too, licking the beaters from you icing. He was so messy when he was done. Hands, arms, chest and hair along with his face, covered in it. I know you would have laughed so hard to see him like that.
Also another great surprise. A friend of ours had her baby on your B-day. We thought it was so special that you are sharing your b-day with her little guy too. When we went to visit them we took a very much loved, homemade, receiving blanket that I had used for your older brother, yourself and for your little brother. As I held the new baby I could not help but think of when I first held you. How small and adorable you were. I remember cuddling with you in the hospital and barely taking my eyes off of you. You were attached to me at the hip from then on till you were 5 months old.
Last night I cried as I thought of all your firsts that I am missing. How you must wonder why I didn't want you or gave you up. I have always wanted you, I have always fought to have this injustice fixed and you returned home. I hope soon you will know that. Your picture is on our family wall with everyone else's. Your little brother already knows who you are and when asked your name he will climb up on the couch and point you out. He also loves to watch the past videos we have of you.
You may not be here right now but you and your brother are talked about every day. You are very much a part of our home and family. No matter how many people lie to you or try to force you to be theirs, you will always belong here. This is your real home, we are your real family. You are loved. You are missed. And we plan for the day we can truly celebrate your b-day with us. We hope this is the last one we will miss. We hope the people who have you will finally get a conscious and a heart and do the right thing. How they can sleep at night know you were stolen from your real loving family is beyond me. They are committing the worst act of cruelty to you and your brother that I can imagine and are ok with it because they care about their status of "parents" more then they care about what is morally right for both of you.
We will be together again my son. I promise. Happy B-day my 7yr old little man.
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Yesterday was an incredible day. I made a butter pecan cake for you. I remember how much you loved it when I would make butter pecan cookies. So thought you would enjoy this cake a lot. Your little brother had a blast getting messy, just like you used too, licking the beaters from you icing. He was so messy when he was done. Hands, arms, chest and hair along with his face, covered in it. I know you would have laughed so hard to see him like that.
Also another great surprise. A friend of ours had her baby on your B-day. We thought it was so special that you are sharing your b-day with her little guy too. When we went to visit them we took a very much loved, homemade, receiving blanket that I had used for your older brother, yourself and for your little brother. As I held the new baby I could not help but think of when I first held you. How small and adorable you were. I remember cuddling with you in the hospital and barely taking my eyes off of you. You were attached to me at the hip from then on till you were 5 months old.
Last night I cried as I thought of all your firsts that I am missing. How you must wonder why I didn't want you or gave you up. I have always wanted you, I have always fought to have this injustice fixed and you returned home. I hope soon you will know that. Your picture is on our family wall with everyone else's. Your little brother already knows who you are and when asked your name he will climb up on the couch and point you out. He also loves to watch the past videos we have of you.
You may not be here right now but you and your brother are talked about every day. You are very much a part of our home and family. No matter how many people lie to you or try to force you to be theirs, you will always belong here. This is your real home, we are your real family. You are loved. You are missed. And we plan for the day we can truly celebrate your b-day with us. We hope this is the last one we will miss. We hope the people who have you will finally get a conscious and a heart and do the right thing. How they can sleep at night know you were stolen from your real loving family is beyond me. They are committing the worst act of cruelty to you and your brother that I can imagine and are ok with it because they care about their status of "parents" more then they care about what is morally right for both of you.
We will be together again my son. I promise. Happy B-day my 7yr old little man.
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