Saturday, November 27, 2010

A Toddlers Suffering

At the beginning of April a very good friend gave us the ability to see m kids when ever we could.  In exchange for some work he gave us a car.  With this car we were able to see the children for a lot cheaper.  So more requests were put in.  They went like this:

We wanted a visit for May 7th.  Request made on 29th. Received confirmation on the 30. Had visit. Was informed that my youngest would see an eye doctor in early May.  My lawyer then informed me that we were making head way with the department.  They were considering a supervision order and as such was going to start allowing me over night visits.  This would be a lot easier for us.  We were having visits at our home so that weather could not affect the visit.  So it was a 90 minute drive there to get them, another 90 minutes back to our city.  Then a 3 hour visit at our home and then a 90 minute drive to drop them off and then another 90 minutes back home.  It was a very long day for us with all the driving so at the end of it we were always exhausted.  So this excited me. 

We put in our request for our first over night visit for the May 21-22, 2010 Request made on the 7th. Received confirmation on the 13th for an over night visit. When I changed my youngest for a bath I Discovered that he was 35 inchs tall, 2yrs and 7months old and only 25LBS. Took pictures and forwarded them to the lawyer.

You Can View The Pictures Here

His knees and elbows were huge compared to his stick like arms and legs.  You could see all his ribs, his spine stood out prominately.  All his bones stood out.  There was not an ounce of fat on him.  At dinner that evening my fiance and I worked hard to get him to eat.  After 2 bites of food he said he was full and wanted down.  So we played with him with his food and succeeded in getting him to eat it all.  My oldest son asked why we were doing that. He said at home playing at the table was not allowed and that when his brother asked to get down to play my mother let him down.  All kids go through growth spurts and times when they eat very little.  It is the parents/gaurdians job to ensure they get the nutrition they need for their growing bodies.  It angered me a great deal that my son looked this way.  None of my children were ever this skinny.  Lawyer sent in request for my youngest to see a paediatrician along with forwarding all pictures and measurements to all other lawyers.  I did not want to return him in that condition because by the next day he was out eating me at the table.  But I knew I had no choice.  I was a mother wanting to protect her children and was not permitted too.

We made the request to have another over night visit for the May 29-30, 2010 First request made on the 22(no response). Made second request on the 25(no response). Third request on the 26th(no response). Fourth and final request made on the 27th. Got confirmation. Had visit. No change in Ronan’s weight. Asked repeatedly also if Ronan had yet been seen by a doctor. No response from the department.  Also when we picked up the children both my mother and her husband did the exchange.  Here is a copy of the email I sent to the department about what happened when we picked them up, names have been removed for privacy:

"From: ****

To: ****

CC: ****

Subject: Nicole

Date: Sat, 29 May 2010 14:13:16 -0700

.Just wanted to let you know that when we picked up the kids we told my mothers husband and my mother that we had the cell and it was recording. They immediately started to try fighting with us. Even to the point where they were yelling at us and threatening to press charges. All of this in front of the children. My fiance and I kept calm and everytime they yelled, threaten or made accusations about them not agreeing to be recorded I calmly answered with the fact that we have it recorded from one of the previous visits that we had told her husband that all interactions would be recorded now and he had agreed to it. He then said he works for the cops so will have us charged. They just kept yelling about it having to be in writing (verbal agreements are just as binding) and that they would have us charged for illegally recording them. So I finally told them to go ahead. I was not going to fight with them or yell at them in front of the kids so I took the kids to the other side of the car. Her husband then demanded my fiance to prove he had a drivers liscense. My fiance said he did. My mothers husband demanded he show it to him. So my fiance opened up his wallet and showed him it. Her husband then demanded he hand his wallet over. So my fiance gave him the wallet. After it was proven that he had a liscense her husband then demanded to know if the car was registered. My fiance said yes. Her husband demanded to see proof. So my fiance got it out and showed it to him.

I am not comfortable with how they behaved in front of the children in this situation. If they no longer agreed to being recorded they should have informed you and you in turn would have then informed us. Yes this interaction was all recorded. Since they are behaving this way and refusing to now being recorded and threatening us in front of the kids I would appreciate you arrange someone to else to do the transfers of the children that does agree to being recorded. With the false accusations that have been made in the past I have a legal right to protect myself by recording these interactions. If they are refusing then someone else has to handle the transfers.

The one for Sunday is the last one I will agree to with them. I will not have them yelling and threatening us in front of the children. So please arrange someone else to do the transfers for next weekend when we pick them up on Friday and bring them back on Sunday. I appreciate your attention to this matter.
Nicole "

I never did recieve a response to this email.  We had a fun visit.  I weighed my son and there was no change in his weight.  I had yet to hear from the department about him seeing a pediatrian.  And I was getting the feeling I wouldn't.  When we dropped off the children the next day there was someone there for the exchange which I was very glad to see.  We wanted to have the kids for a weekend this time so we put in the request to have them for the weekend of June 4.  First request made on 30(no response). Second request made on the 2(no response). Third request on the 3(no response). Received a response on 4th. Day of visit. Visit was denied. No reason given as to why. Still asking for a confirmation on Ronan’s doctors visit. No response on whether he has been or not.  I was getting frustrated by this time.

In the mean time my lawyer forwarded me a copy of the potential supervision order.  We agreed to every condition except two that pertained to my mother.  All phone calls between my mother and the children would be done at the social services building in our city with a worker present also all exchanges were to be done there as well.  After her threats the last time I was cutting all contact.  I had to take this woman out of my life completely because of the effect she had on me and the damage she could do.  My lawyer sent in a revised plan and our agreement to it.  The next day she was informed that the supervision order was off the table.  And that they were still going for the PGO.

I put in another request for a visit for the weekend of the 11th.  First request made on the 4(no response). A 4 hour interview(web cammed) was held at our place on the 8th. No reply as to whether we were getting that weekends visit or not during the conversation. Was finally told my youngest had seen a family doctor(not a paediatrician) 10 days prior to the meeting but no response as to what was discovered. Requested the visit twice on the 10th(No response). Requested again twice the morning of the visit. Visit was finally denied late that day. No reason as to why.  After I would find this out I would break down.  I wanted to see my kids.  There was no reason I should not be allowed to see my kids.

I sent in another request for a visit for the weekend of the 18th.  Made first request on the 11(no response). Second request made on the 15(no response). Third request made on the 16(no response). Fourth request made on the 17(no response). Finally heard the day of visit. Visit denied and was informed that all visit was now being changed to 4-6 hours. Only reason give was because of the application for PGO.  I was stunned.

I wanted to see my kids so I would take what I could.  I sent in a request to have a visit for June 26th. 

First request made on the 18(No response). Also again asked for the doctors report on my youngest sons evaluation. Second request made on the 22. Received a response confirming the visit on the 23rd. Had visit. The doctors report that I was promised was actually just a sentence on a prescription pad saying he had been in the doctors office and appeared normal. My youngest son's weight had actually dropped from 25lbs to 24 when we weighted him this visit. Because of his weight drop and no response to this concern we felt our only option was to speak to the police about it. We informed the department that we had and we also phoned the emergency contact number that Social Services had given us. The department then requested a criminals records check on my fiance.  So we were a step further and did the one that people who work with children would have to get.  We faxed a Criminal Records check (24th) to the office as requested. It was clear.

We then put in a request for the next visit for July 7th.  First request made on the 25(no response). Finally received a response on the 2nd asking us to change the date. Could not due to work schedule. Visit was denied and we were told that no visits could occur till after the 14.  The reason given was the kids were going camping with my mother.

Our next request, due to movig to a bigger house to assits my fiances mother(her rent had increased and her ability to do some things at the age of 77 was getting very difficult).  The next visit was request for August 6.  Made first request on the 1(no response). Finally received a response on the 4th confirming the visit. Had visit.  The kids loved the new house.  And we had a ton of fun.

We put in the next request for August 12.  First request made on the 6(no response). Finally received a confirmation on the 11. Had visit. When we arrived the worker and his supervisor said they needed to talk to us beforeallow the visit.  I was not comfortable with this idea without my lawyer but I wanted to see my children so agreed.  They then proceeded to threaten that if I took the children to the police, hospital or doctor that all my visits would be taken away. Also was told that more accusations were made. This time against my dog who is a trained Medical Alert Dog. She was accused of biting my youngest yet there were no marks. They said my youngest was presenting as fearful of the dog. So I provided pictures and videos of him and the dog playing together. To show that these thoughts are being placed in the child’s head and is not actually the fact.  I then told them if I provided more video and pictures of todays visit showing that there was no fear and it was all made up like the other false accusations to please check the source of the accusations.  I provided the videos and pictures.  They did not say anything.  I knew that my mother was having a hard time agianst my proof and ablity to protect myself from her lies so she was trying to not only make my home sound unsafe but also take away my supports. 

How was I to protect my kids with them threatening to take away all visits if I contacted athorities?  The question is I couldn't.  I was being forced into a corner and I could see no way out for me or my kids.

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